Real World Anonymity

[MyNameIsBetsy]

Hi all. I have a situation. I'd appreciate hearing some of your real world examples on protecting anonymity.

I am called to jury duty on Tuesday. I enjoy the legal process and want to serve.

My situation is that a fellow AA member is a court employee at the courthouse where I will report. There certainly is the chance that I will NOT get called onto an actual jury, and if I do get called perhaps it will be to a different courtroom. However, just in case, I'm seeking suggestions on how to respond to the standard question in Voir Dire of "Do you know anyone in this courtroom?"

I've talked to this court employee before about how other AA members handle seeing the AAer in court. The AAer's response has been that protecting anonymity is important. The AAer does not want to be outed in the workplace.

I've thought of saying, "I know XYZ. XYZ is a friend of a friend." and hope the matter is dropped right there. Simpler yet would be to say, "No, I do not." That would be fast, but not be honest.

I will be under oath, and I value honesty. I also value anonymity. Help.

In your experience, what can you draw from that might be helpful? Any ideas that fit the situation and the tradition of anonymity?

Betsy
an alcoholic

[tomsteve]

a simple answer for me would be,"yes. we have a mutual friend."
either your reply or that one is honest- youre both friends of bill w.

[avaneesh912]

We need to go by the traditions. Anonymity. No matter what. I dont care about mine, but i honor others.

[Brock]

AA is described as a society in many places in our literature, including the definition ‘AA is a society of men and women who…etc.’

When placed in a position like this I have said ‘I know X socially,’ nobody has ever asked for more information, but if they did, I believe something like ‘we meet with a group of like-minded individuals to discuss spirituality’ would do, I can’t see anyone pressing further but if they did, I might say it’s none of your business or something similar.

The fact is we are strictly nonprofessional, so therefore meetings can be described as social, as in society = social.

If in the event that you happen to be picked, (and for the same court), I expect your friend would be quite OK with this response. If she were not, then I am afraid she is being somewhat selfish, because someone in AA works in a position like this certainly can not mean that any other AA member who knows her should refuse service there, or have to lie to protect her anonymity.

[PaigeB]

My situation is that a fellow AA member is a court employee at the courthouse where I will report. ... suggestions on how to respond to the standard question in Voir Dire of "Do you know anyone in this courtroom?"
...The AAer does not want to be outed in the workplace.

I've thought of saying, "I know XYZ. XYZ is a friend of a friend." and hope the matter is dropped right there. Simpler yet would be to say, "No, I do not." That would be fast, but not be honest.

I will be under oath, and I value honesty. I also value anonymity. Help.

Betsy
an alcoholic

I went to a wedding out of town. My Aunt was getting married. Climbing the church steps to the chapel floor, I met an AA at the top - shaking hand with people coming in. "This is weird ~ did we trip into a fancily dressed AA meeting?" Well, it was HARD to not see that we knew one another, such was our surprise... Her dad was marrying my AUNT! The "Oh?!? How do you know each other left me stricken for an answer, but luckily she responded and said that we "had some mutual friends in X (my city)." It DID leave a pregnant pause waiting for us to further that discussion, but my feet started moving and the incident passed.

Question - if the Court employee is an attorney - you might need to bow out. THAT would be a situation that would give rise to an appeal or worse, sanctions like fines and jail time. This is a new experience and you must contact your AA friend about this real life situation - this is not a random question about someone else maybe being in court... Any court employee other than the attorneys or the judge might be readily seen as irrelevant. The guard and the stenographer have no bearing on deciding the case.

I like Brock's answer to any subsequent questions "‘I know X socially,’ nobody has ever asked for more information, but if they did, I believe something like ‘we meet with a group of like-minded individuals to discuss spirituality’" But the mention of spirituality might ALSO be something to ask your AA friend about. Maybe they prefer you whitewash it into a book club?

[D'oh]

Why doe "AA" have to be brought up at all. Can it not be "I am friends with Mrs X" or "I know Mr X"

[Layne]

We met through mutual friends and know each other strictly on a social basis.

[PaigeB]

I am called to jury duty on Tuesday. I enjoy the legal process and want to serve.

Betsy
an alcoholic

I would love to know how things turned out!

[MyNameIsBetsy]

I would love to know how things turned out!

The court employee and I spoke by phone over the weekend. We concluded the best response would be "a friend of a friend" and that was my plan. But, then I discovered the jury service could be postponed until December. And that is what happened!

I have an incredibly complicated week this week, including a potential fast flight to Texas and a drive back home from there. When I arrived at the courthouse on Tuesday, I had no clue what was going to happen this week - or where I might be at then end of it - and I really needed to simplify.

Bottom line, this event is now three months in the future. I appreciate everyone's input. Unless I hear another great response, I believe I will say, "I know XYZ, as a friend of a friend."

Thanks for asking!!!

Betsy
an alcoholic

[Layne]

I believe I will say, "I know XYZ, as a friend of a friend."

It is honest and provides all the information that is needed.