Foster Care requrements

[cpr123]

My wife and I have decided to try and Foster children in need. On one of the forms I checked the box for being an Alcoholic and informed them that I have 5 years of sobriety. The social worker in turn wants me to provide them with paperwork from my counselor stating I am in fact sober. I told them I have no counselor. They then asked me for the rehab I went to. I have not been to rehab. They then told me I have to have some kind of documentation. They asked me for the sign in sheet from the AA meeting. I informed them that Anonymity prevents such a thing from existing. I told them I could make up as sheet and have someone sign it and they said that I was not allowed to do that. I said I would provide whatever is needed but what they are asking for does not exist.

I told the social worker that I got sick of being drunk and went to AA on my own. They told me AA doesn't get people sober it only facilitates counseling and rehab. I informed them that their understanding of AA and my experience in AA do not align. I was informed that they went to meetings while in training and they know what AA is all about.

I did ask to speak with their supervisor if they could not be more specific about the type of documentation needed. I think this made them angry. If this disqualifies me from fostering I will not have to drink over it but I have to admit that I feel slighted by the system.

In retrospect I should have just kept the whole thing to myself. Too late now. Is there any suggestions or experience with how to handle this. Does AA have any guidance in this sort of thing. The social worker seems to be trying to fill in the blanks but I have nothing to give them.

[avaneesh912]

Ask them if a letter from another sober member of AA/your Sponsor will help?

[MyNameIsBetsy]

Hi cpr123,

Just a thought . . . ask that social worker if a copy of the same form used by the court system in your town would be acceptable. The courts are always directing people to AA and those folks come in with court slips for the AA secretaries to sign. We do it all the time out here in California. Ask if that form would be acceptable, find that form, and start getting your local meeting secretaries to sign it. No big deal.

Your sponsor can attest to the length of your sobriety.

Betsy
an alcoholic

[PaigeB]

...I informed them that their understanding of AA and my experience in AA do not align. I was informed that they went to meetings while in training and they know what AA is all about.

I did ask to speak with their supervisor if they could not be more specific about the type of documentation needed. I think this made them angry. If this disqualifies me from fostering I will not have to drink over it but I have to admit that I feel slighted by the system.

Wow - I had "social services" on my resentment list. The anger can eat away at us if we are not careful. I have to turn my energy to something constructive. But your post woke up what is left of my resentment - maybe I will never fully recover from that evil and corroding thread (BB pg 67)... but It is not as white hot as it once was and I THANK YOU for this opportunity to revisit it and share with you that you are not alone.

?Who cares if it is not their form - you do it anyway to show that you appreciate their concern. Willingness is KEY. Maybe take that out-patient treatment and get them a report.

Be prepared for curve balls and DONT lose your cool. They got me when they said my husband was a verified woman abuser... this is so far from the truth! They said they found it in online court records! Well - same name - wrong birthday. So I printed that and highlighted the mistake. I gave them a copy along with a "nice" letter pointing out their mistake. My husband has not had anything more than a speeding ticket, so the online court system did not have any information on him and it is hard to prove a negative. Maybe I should have hired a private investigator? I don't know. I may never know.

So! One thing I learned is that social services TRIES to find something to get under your skin... something that can use to make themselves look helpful. In my humble opinion, you have to get a step ahead of them. Go BIG. Talk to your AA friends and see how many of them are willing to make formal statements - Affidavits - full names and notarized statements on your behalf. Get 20 of them! Paper the walls! Got any childcare worker friends? Nurses? Doctors? Get your family doctor and your financial adviser! Get them all on court approved paper - AFFIDAVITS. You can get forms online anywhere.

Get a calendar and have it signed for every meeting you go to, for every sponsor meeting too! You can write down your daily meditation times.

You can check into the local community college for any classes that might be helpful - maybe even children's art? You can add a child-type volunteer job. Maybe daycare at you neighborhood church?

Get creative. Smile about it all. Maybe it will work if you work it.