Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the rooms

[Lali]

This is an old one, but a favorite of mine . . .

"If I weren't an alcoholic, I would drink all day".

[Squawking Hawk]

Hawk

This is an old one, but a favorite of mine . . .

"If I weren't an alcoholic, I would drink all day".

[hecramsey2]

I heard a newbie once saying "you know I was reading through that big BLUE book and that big BLUE book is full of great stuff what's it called that big BLUE book?". Lots of church giggles all around

[FluffUSPS]

My former grand sponsor brought this one back from Founders Day:

"I'm a defect looking for some character."


Also, seen on the T-shirt of one of the attendees of said gathering:

"I'm on a straight pepper diet."

[maurits]

although i heard this one a few years ago:


i was powerless over my over-seriousness that my life became unmanageable


in my case, still valid today ;-)

[PaigeB]

"If your life is a shitstorm, close your mouth"

"My life is unmanageable and I am looking to share that with another alcoholic" (13th Step)

[whipping post]

"Meeting makers make it."

** disclaimer: I have never actually heard this said in a meeting

[Lali]

Good posts here - very amusing.

But I wonder if this should be under the heading of "But We Aren't a Glum Lot" rather than "Discussion"? If not too much trouble for the mods.

[Niagara]

'two sickies don't make a welly' - someone talking on the 13th step, and about relationships in early sobriety

heard at a meeting, when someone was trying to describe how alcohol isn't the problem, only a symptom - 'take the booze out of a fruitcake, you still got a fruitcake'.

[Tosh]

"Telling a drunk woman to calm down is a little bit like baptising a cat!"

(Apologies for the sexist line; it's not mine!)

[ezdzit247]

"Telling a drunk woman to calm down is a little bit like baptising a cat!"

(Apologies for the sexist line; it's not mine!)

LOL.... No offense taken, no apology necessary....

[ezdzit247]

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Anytown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, and so on.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now, this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

[Tosh]

[Larryp713]

I have a couple good ones:

"I didn't have a drink on my first day of kindergarten, but I sure could have used one!"

"My name is Al, and I am a Larryholic!" - I felt so clever when I blurted this out.

"I have never woke up and wondered if I was a woman/black man/car, because I am not. But I have woke up many times wondering if I was an alcoholic."

"I should not stay in my head without adult supervision."

"This is not a program for people who want to stay sober. It is not a program for people who need to stay sober. It is a program for people who take action to achieve sobriety."

"How in depth does your fourth step need to be? That depends on how free you want to be."

"Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another."

"Never have I suffered because of AA. Never have I worked the program outlined and it made things worse."

"There are two types of people in AA - those who show me how to act, and those who show me how not to act."

I love AA! - Larry

[Robert R]

Seven missed meetings makes one weak