What's the point of meetings?

Is the concept of a Home Group dying? What is a Home Group anyway? Talk about it here.
BrendaChenowyth
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by BrendaChenowyth »

To help somebody else feel less alone.
Frihed89
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Frihed89 »

I have an experience to add, which has a lot of meaning to me in relation to the topic. It might help someone.

I have moved around a lot in my life. In one place where I lived, there was a tough guy, a biker and a loner, who attended a lot of meanings. For a year, at least, and maybe longer (it was a long time ago), he always volunteered something like this: "You told me if I came to meetings on a regular basis, worked the program to the best of my ability, and didn't drink, I would get sober". Then he would pause and add, "...but it sure isn't work for me". Nothing else. But he kept coming back.

Then, one day, many many meetings later, and without warning, he said, "You told me if I came to meetings on a regular basis, worked the program to the best of my ability, and didn't drink, I would get sober", and then added, with a big smile,..."well it sure has worked for me". (Followed by thunderous applause and many hugs).
philly25
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by philly25 »

Thanks for this post.

What you shared is one of the reasons why I no longer make millions of meetings a week. I have a homegroup (a small Big Book meeting), and I have other groups where I'm somewhat of a regular. Most of the time when I got to meetings, I try to just be quiet and listen to people. It's really hard - I'm like every other alcoholic - I have a big ego and I want to share everything.

The other thing your post made me think of is this: I'm still learning the traditions, but in there somewhere it says, "Each group is autonomous." Basically, every group I go to is different. If I go to a group and I get a bad vibe, I probably won't go back.

I've learned to find the meetings where I feel comfortable, where people aren't rude or nosy, and where I feel like I can actually give back in some way.

Also, I know that on some nights where I feel really screwed up, I'll do other things to calm myself down that are healthy - like writing, reading, exercise, talking to a friend (AA or otherwise). When I feel nuts, sometimes I feel it's not appropriate to go to a meeting and vomit on the floor, and I'll instead write it all out in my journal and then share it with a professional therapist during my weekly appointment. Sometimes, though, I still do vomit on the floor, because I'm young and I'm still searching.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm trying to stay away from the black-and-white thinking. It's easy to fall into, but life is way more complex than that.
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Brock
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Brock »

philly25 wrote:Sometimes, though, I still do vomit on the floor, because I'm young and I'm still searching.
Well done on knowing it’s not the best thing to do, AA meetings are not the place to let others know about your problems, and unfortunately I believe many think it is, I have heard people refer to it as ‘free therapy.’ And in today’s fast paced society, where it’s almost ‘fashionable’ to be in therapy of one sort or another, what could be better than free. If you really need therapy, then just like you try to do, everyone should also keep that separate. This business of ‘there there let me pat you on the back, and serve you a nice cup of tea while you tell us all about it, it will be OK once you share it,’ while some trembling newcomer desperate to hear the solution is ignored, that’s the trouble with many AA meetings today.

What's the point of meetings? To pass the message to still suffering alcoholics!
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
JeffS.
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by JeffS. »

I like to attend open meetings on occasion because there is always somebody new that attends and being there helps them (hopefully lol) and also helps me continue practicing step twelve. If you speak up at a meeting you are helping another alcoholic even if you think what you are saying isn't important. Take the things you can use and leave the rest behind.
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dralius
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by dralius »

My home group says "We study the 12 steps and 12 traditions. Take your problems to your sponsor"

We rotate thought the steps and traditions unless someone has one that they have something they want to say about it. Each person is expected to tell of their experience with it. For those steps that you have not been through you instead tell what you did to stay sober that day.
"There is no greater disaster than discontent."
-Loazi...
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PaigeB
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by PaigeB »

dralius wrote: Mon Apr 20, 2020 5:52 pm My home group says "We study the 12 steps and 12 traditions. Take your problems to your sponsor"

We rotate thought the steps and traditions unless someone has one that they have something they want to say about it. Each person is expected to tell of their experience with it. For those steps that you have not been through you instead tell what you did to stay sober that day.
Sounds like living in the solution! That's pretty much how we do it here... except we don't ever limit who can say what. I am both the teacher and the student on this journey.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB
davej0t
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by davej0t »

JeffS. wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 4:33 pm I like to attend open meetings on occasion because there is always OTC phentermine article that attends and being there helps them (hopefully lol) and also helps me continue practicing step twelve. If you speak up at a meeting you are helping another alcoholic even if you think what you are saying isn't important. Take the things you can use and leave the rest behind.
I do that too sometimes, but since covid it has been difficult.
Last edited by davej0t on Mon Feb 08, 2021 2:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Indianapolis
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Indianapolis »

There's a few points to meetings, for me.

1. Wisdom. Very often during a meeting I'll hear SOMETHING that resonates with me in a new way. Something I can take away and reflect on. It's usually not the majority of the meeting or the majority of the shares, but a little nugget of wisdom somewhere in the middle of a share that makes me think about something in a different way. If I listen closely, I find a little moment like that more often than not.

2. 12th Step. Being in meetings is a form of service. Showing up for the others, and them showing up for me, is an act of service. Sharing and listening are acts of service. We're all in this together.

3. Accountability. A consistent group of people creates a bond. In the rare moments I have a thought about relapse, damaging or disappointing those relationships is one of the many, many painful things that I know would occur if I took that first drink. Yes, I know the group would take me back with open arms. But yes, I know I'd be embarrassed and hurt and would struggle to come back. And I love my home group, they're awesome people, and I want us all to succeed together.

4. Seeing success. Isn't it great to see that newbie, who's been struggling, get that 30 day chip? Isn't it joyful when someone shares that they finally made it through their 5th step and found some relief? Getting to celebrate with people I love as they have little successes adds to my gratitude list.
Tgnc
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Tgnc »

Many words of wisdom here for me. Thanks!
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avaneesh912
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by avaneesh912 »

Point of meetings?

For the new-comer its a place he/she can feel safe to share where they are and look for solution. And for people who have worked the steps and can guide them to a place where they can achieve the state of neutrality. Anything other than that, we are deviating from our primary purpose.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
D'oh
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by D'oh »

The point of Meetings?

Steps 1-3, (yes 3, What part of your Life and Will did you turn over?)

**Step 11, My Higher Power doesn't Text me His Will. He might have misplaced my Cell #

Traditions
2 and 5
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PaigeB
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by PaigeB »

D'oh wrote: Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:28 am
**Step 11, My Higher Power doesn't Text me His Will. He might have misplaced my Cell #
:) :lol: :wink: :shock: :lol: :lol:
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB
Tgnc
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Tgnc »

Thanks for asking the question and for all the awesome responses.
Helped me a lot. I’m a newbie and haven’t shared in a meeting yet.
Still_Sober
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Re: What's the point of meetings?

Post by Still_Sober »

I know this is a stale thread, but I skimmed the thread and I am not happy with any of the responses.

AA is a "we" program, none of us can go it alone. Perhaps the single most important thing is that we see ourselves in others or identify with others in the rooms; you can't see the forest for the trees and the inherent denial. We need to share our experience, strength and hope and receive the same. We need to know we are not unique and we need to help others. We need to learn to be sober from those who are sober. We need to stick with the winners. We need to celebrate and share our sobriety with those who truly understand us and need to help others celebrate and share their sobriety. We need to learn how not to isolate. We need to hear new ideas and put them to the test so that we may become open to knew ideas through H.O.W., honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Given time I am sure I can come up with more.

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