My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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Godless
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My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by Godless »

She had years in the program before and has worked all the steps. Is it okay to have a sponsor with only 7 months sober?
Indianapolis
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by Indianapolis »

The general rule in my home group is that you're eligible to sponsor once you've worked through the steps. That said, if someone worked the steps years ago and then went back out, we'd probably ask that they at least have gone back through step work with someone else before sponsoring.

But, every group is different. I've heard other groups simply ask that a sponsor have more sobriety than the sponsee and be ahead of them in step work. Other groups put a 1 year requirement on sponsorship.

If your group is neutral to it, tradition four applies: "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." A.A. as a whole has no set parameters for sponsorship.

Personally, when I selected a sponsor, my criteria was simple -- did I want what this person had in sobriety? Have they worked the steps, and do they appear knowledgeable? Just for me, I was also looking for a man who was older than me (personal preference) and had some professional background (also personal preference). But the first two questions were the most important -- did I want what he has, and did he know and work the steps.
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PaigeB
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by PaigeB »

Godless wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2021 8:37 am She had years in the program before and has worked all the steps. Is it okay to have a sponsor with only 7 months sober?
You might be helping her! Who is HER sponsor? Maybe you two could become sister sponsees if you asked her sponsor to sponsor you!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB
MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

Is it okay to have a sponsor with only 7 months sober?


Hi and welcome.

There are no hard rules for sponsorship, other than a solid suggestion to get one! Having said that, you would be wise to pick someone who has what you want. By that I mean she has a sense of serenity regarding life sober. She gets along well with others. She shares honestly in group meetings. You find her easy to talk to, and is trustworthy with your personal information.

The sponsor should have worked the steps, and it is VERY helpful for her to have a sponsor herself. She should know the steps of the AA program and be able to explain them to you.

I don't believe how long she has been sober, or whether she has or has not relapsed, is as important as are the above suggestions.

And, if this sponsor does not work out, ask someone else. These are NOT legally binding contracts!!! =biggrin =biggrin =biggrin

Here is the AA pamphlet on what sponsorship is all about: https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Welcome to our online group!!

Betsy, an alcoholic
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
D'oh
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by D'oh »

Basically, a Sponsor can be Anyone, with at least 1 Day longer Sobriety, and has What You Want. Cool Car. Trophy Wife, or Serenity!

You never mentioned How long You have been Sober! But, the First Suggestion is just that, a Suggestion., If They have what you want, just ask them "How they got it?"
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avaneesh912
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by avaneesh912 »

She had years in the program before and has worked all the steps. Is it okay to have a sponsor with only 7 months sober?
As long as they transpire the right knowledge its ok. If they understand the futility and urgency to get through the steps quickly, atleast based on their experience it will be credible. On the other hand, they keep bragging about how they were in the program and still managed to have some time, then they havent learned any lesson.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
Wiganman
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by Wiganman »

Well done to this lady for sponsoring after 7 months sobriety. If the first 100 had waited a long time to sponsor then the growth of the fellowship would have been very very slow.
"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." =ugeek
1Peter5:10
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Re: My sponsor only has 7 months sober

Post by 1Peter5:10 »

PaigeB wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2021 11:14 am
Godless wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2021 8:37 am She had years in the program before and has worked all the steps. Is it okay to have a sponsor with only 7 months sober?
You might be helping her! Who is HER sponsor? Maybe you two could become sister sponsees if you asked her sponsor to sponsor you!
☝️☝️I like this idea. ☝️☝️
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