sponsor info

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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jd7087

sponsor info

Post by jd7087 »

How does an old timer find an old timer sponsor when his passes ?

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Squawking Hawk
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Re: sponsor info

Post by Squawking Hawk »

jd7087,

Welcome to the forums. Sorry to hear about the death of your sponsor. I've been around a little while myself and have not been in your situation so I have no direct ESH to offer.

But if it did, I would look around in my f2f meetings to see if there is someone else with some time and feel them out. I might also look for a temporary sponsor either in my f2f meetings or online. We do have a committee that assigns people temporary sponsors, a great service for newcomers. I suppose that you could write them and tell them your situation and ask for a temporary online sponsor with some time.

Please go to this link and fill out the form: http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php and someone should get back to you within a day.

Hawk
Ms. Hawk

I will never forget

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Tosh
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Re: sponsor info

Post by Tosh »

jd7087 wrote:How does an old timer find an old timer sponsor when his passes ?
What is it you want out of a sponsor? It's something I've been thinking about recently. I've got a sponsor who took me through the 12 Steps, I've had that spiritual awakening - now what?

Do I look upon my sponsor as a spiritual teacher for further development? I can't provide that for my own sponsees because I'm very much at the level of them (more or less). In fact sometimes, certain sponsees, seem to just whizz past me on the spiritual progress path and I've seen - one in particular - handle a horrendously difficult situation with a huge amount of grace and spiritual growth.

He could teach me.

I think I look to my sponsor for accountability. I phone him once every couple of weeks. He asks how I'm doing and is more interested with what I'm doing with regards to A.A. and sponsoring others in particular. And he's there for advice with anything regarding A.A.. But as for being a 'spiritual teacher' post 12 Step spiritual awakenging, I think I'm best looking for a spiritual teacher who may or may not be part of A.A.; if that's what I'm after.

Maybe we expect too much of our sponsors and that's what puts people off from wanting to sponsor?

And maybe this was better off in a new post; apologies; and I'm sorry for your loss also.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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avaneesh912
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Re: sponsor info

Post by avaneesh912 »

If you are looking for a sponsor who has longer sobriety than yours, you may not find one as your grow olders. Instead if you are open enough, you may succeed in looking at some awakened souls even though they could have fewer years under their belt. Just a thought.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Squawking Hawk
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Re: sponsor info

Post by Squawking Hawk »

I agree with Aveenesh, I have more than a few years sober time and there are many things I learn from those of you with fewer years. I am fortunate, my sponsor, who has been sober a few years longer than I, are about the same age. Quality not quantity.

hawk
Ms. Hawk

I will never forget

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Brock
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Re: sponsor info

Post by Brock »

When I first joined these forums, I was a little ignorant about the whole idea of sponsorship, and in fact wasn’t convinced they were needed at all, all because I did the program without one. Since then my position has changed and I would recommend a sponsor to any newcomer, if nothing else it speeds up the process, but I am still a little baffled by this long term sponsorship. Of all the people I have met since I joined AA, there is only one I respect as having possibly better sobriety, and more experience than myself, if I had picked him as a sponsor I would have done the program faster, and I seek his advice from time to time, which I do not as a sponsor but just as a friend.

In another thread the discussion is AA approved literature, and there is surprisingly little written in the books about sponsorship. The only place I can find reference to how long we keep a sponsor is in the “Living Sober” book, this is not much of a book except perhaps for the newcomer, but it does say :- “And the best sponsors are really delighted when the newcomer is able to step out past the stage of being sponsored. Not that we ever have to go it altogether alone. But the time does come when even a young bird must use its own wings and start its own family. Happy flying.” But to each his own, if some feel the need for a sponsor for life more power to them.

Brock.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Db1105
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Re: sponsor info

Post by Db1105 »

I' lost my sponsor some 20 years ago with a little over 15 years of sobriety. Between sponsee, friends, the wife, etc., i have more than enought support in my life. I've haven't seen the point of having a sponsor having spent most of my life in the fellowship. If I haven't learned the program by now, I'll never get it. It's all about helping others. But, that's just me.

kenyal
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Re: sponsor info

Post by kenyal »

I'm sort of in your situation. A number of years ago I moved away from my friends and homegroup and sponsor. He's been great about talking when I call him (about every 18 months), and I see him when I visit my old town. I got sober when young and now I'm getting old, thanks to AA. The danger is that being over 30 years sober I believe my head is giving me neutral and rational advice on matters, when that may not be so at all.

There's a guy here that I plan to ask for sponsorship when he returns from his winter weather escape. I respect him and the way he does AA and life. For a year after first meeting him I had him pegged as some 15-20 year guy, he doesn't advertise his time or maintain an expectation of status granted at 40 years, and I like that about him a lot. If my head is not advising me well I want to know that. And I want to talk intimately on occasion with a man who knows the road ahead of me.

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larrylive
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Re: sponsor info

Post by larrylive »

Well this is a nice mix of replies. i personally don't get the extended version of sponsorship. being that I have worked through the first 9 steps and now loop through 10,11 and 12, I fail to see the need for a sponsor. And this is the advise I pass on, including passing on this advise. I am an adult and only work with adults. There fore I expect them to act responsible and mature, moving through life with grace and dignity. Friendships do develop and some are lasting, often affording us someone to confide in. Sponsorship should be a temporary position, friendship should last forever.

Be Well,
Larry
All the gods send their drunks to AA

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