Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

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rainbowhope
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Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by rainbowhope »

I turn 3 months this week and have been asked to share at my home group on Sunday.

I mentioned this at a meeting tonight, to a lovely lady who has decades of sobriety.

She was dead against it - she said that I was too young and had nothing to share, it would just be a drinkalog as I dont have the strength and hope to pass on.

It has made me think I would be foolish to share at this stage?

Although, I had been intending on acknowledging that I was still very new to the fellowship but was just going to share how it has been so far?

Would appreciate any views

Thanks!

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PaigeB
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by PaigeB »

rainbowhope wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:08 pm
I turn 3 months this week and have been asked to share at my home group on Sunday...

Although, I had been intending on acknowledging that I was still very new to the fellowship but was just going to share how it has been so far?

Would appreciate any views

Thanks!
My sponsee had a slip on a Friday night. On Saturday I had her doing service work - standing at the door of the Fellowship Club dance shaking hands.

Might I suggest that ANY person who is struggling or new STILL has much to offer. For instance You have more sobriety and handle life differently than the sot that just came in. Your experience strength and hope - gained by getting through the first day the first week the first month - WILL SAVE THE LIFE OF ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC.

Identify yourself as an alcoholic by telling us about your first drink (5 mins max) and your last drink (10 minutes). This is enough to show "what it was like". Then talk about AA & you for the next 30 to 40 minutes with "what happened" (10 minutes) Then tell them how you survive today - what keeps you going today - where you are in the Steps - with "what is like now". These are the directions from the first page of Chapter 5 "How It Works".

Take your Big Book up to the podium with you. If you run out of things to say - read about where you and your sponsor left off.

Just some suggestion. But my experience tells me that you will save a life with your humble, HP inspired story.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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ebear
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by ebear »

I have found that different groups have different rules, worked out in "group conscience" terms. My home group, for example, will only start inviting people to lead a meeting after their first year. AA's in that group are also asked not to share at Step meetings unless they have done the particular step under the guidance of a sponsor. People with less than three months are asked to share only at Beginner meetings. It's said they know a lot about getting drunk but not much about sobriety yet.

In my opinion, the woman with decades of sobriety sounds a bit harsh. Judgmental might even be a fair word. One great gift of the newcomer is that he or she, by sharing, "keeps it green" for AA's who have substantial distance from their last drink!
If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're headed.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by Spirit Flower »

The most interesting part of any share is "what happened", and then "what its like now." Of course you have experience, strength and hope. Share these.

I find anybody's drunkalog funny but not that enlightening.
...a score card reading zero...

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avaneesh912
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by avaneesh912 »

By 3 months back in 1930s 40s they had already worked the steps and helping others. Instead today we have mixed crowd with variety of opinion when one gets to work the steps and share. Its all watered down anyways.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Brock
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by Brock »

Since it’s your home group that asked you to share, they believe you have a contribution to make, and once you are willing to do it, that’s all that really matters. This is what the big book says in ‘How It Works’ -
...      Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.
The ‘drunkalog’ is the first part, what we were like, so people can identify and think yes, this person did some drinking. Then what happened, I had enough because of X or Y (the reason I finally hit bottom and said I have had enough of this drinking life), then finally what we are like now. OK maybe like some of us you can’t say I now never feel to drink, I am happy joyous and free. But as others have said, those who are also new can be greatly helped if you just give encouraging words, like how welcomed you felt at meetings, helpful sponsor, and say how far you have got in the steps. I especially like to say the steps are not as hard as they appear at first, anything like that, if you find home life has gotten better, maybe sleeping better, all of these things are part of what we are like now, and will help and encourage others. Best of luck, I am sure it will go fine.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Db1105
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by Db1105 »

As someone with “decades” of sobriety, I need to hear those early in recovery share their experience, strength, and hope.

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ebear
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by ebear »

I was just at a GREAT speaker meeting tonight where all three speakers were identified as “young timers” by their leader. One had seven months, one had less than three, and the other was somewhere between the two. The raw power of their shares was tremendous. The newest didn’t share long, and she fought back tears as she shared her difficulty accepting the idea that she is alcoholic. The love in the room was overwhelming! The three (and the leader) stayed and talked with with several of us in the parking lot afterward, and the smiles and relief and fellow-feeling underscored for me the power of AA!
Last edited by ebear on Mon Aug 12, 2019 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're headed.

Craig_PDX
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Re: Too young to share at 3 months - thoughts?

Post by Craig_PDX »

My group lets people share even "younger" than that.

I like it.

It helps me get to know the person's story and needs. Newly sober people can have wisdom, too!

Just tell your own story and don't feel like you must have all the answers. Your truth is your truth and some people can benefit from it.

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