Fired my Sponsor

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Fired my Sponsor

Postby odat12 » Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:07 am

I was happy to have her as a sponsor and she helped me in so many ways. I understand being strict and needing to be firm but there's a fine line between discipline and dictating. I put up with so much because in the end she really did help but until I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and that I need a new sponsor, I felt a sense of relief. I appreciate everything she taught me and I really am sad to see her go. I find it hinders my sobriety to not be able to feel comfortable going to my sponsor because I fear her disappointment and the way she talks to me. I make mistakes and I'm human. I work the steps the best to my ability. Do I sometimes mess up or not do them properly? Of course. It took a while for me to say enough is enough because I know I need a sponsor to properly work this program otherwise I will take the soft and easy route without even realizing it. I just don't think a person needs to put another person down to get the job done.

There were just too many things telling me that this person wasn't right for me. I suppose it's just a say a prayer for them and move along type of moment. As sad as it is because I really did learn so much from her.
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Re: Fired my Sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:23 pm

I had to change sponsors this year... like you, I had lost trust or something. But I had to follow my gut. The Big Book even says that we will come to rely on this sort of 6th Sense. I think it is the best thing yet! I am going through the Steps again with a new kind of energy and since my Higher Power and grown and changed sooo much, I feel like I have a brand new start at this thing.

We have a Hope that is in the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience... Keep up the GOoD work! :arrow:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Fired my Sponsor

Postby odat12 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:11 am

It's hard to distinguish when a sponsor is right for you, especially being a newcomer. In this society, we're warned of abusive behaviour and what that entails yet at the same time, us alcoholics need discipline - as it says at the end of "Into Action": "we alcoholics are undisciplined." But we allow God to discipline us, not another human being. So what constitutes a healthy relationship between a sponsor and sponsee? When am I scape-goating from the hard stuff?
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Re: Fired my Sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:38 am

I think the primary goal of the sponsor is to help you through the whole process. Have a good understanding of the steps. You can also gain knowledge listening to workshops on the net on the big book. If they insists that you HAVE to call them everyday or at certain time of the day, it gets tricky. They claim that the candidate is not willing, wont do those tasks. The way I see them willing is, there sincerity in going through the book at asking questions. I always see if they are ready to do their inventory. Thats how I determine the willingness.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Fired my Sponsor

Postby Dee487 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 8:55 am

I'm so grateful to my sponsors/ I've had a few....not all fired but I moved a few times and grew....
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Re: Fired my Sponsor

Postby Service » Fri Feb 02, 2018 8:32 pm

Conditions ? =biggrin One has to hire in order to fire - Sober Insanity can run deep as A.A states be true to thy own self - I guess people are easily diverted by others instead of an inside job, God is everything or nothing and I guess co dependents are too instead of the God given free gift of a fellowship.
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