I agree on all points.PaigeB wrote:Maybe God wants people to help the newcomer! He may come to find himself drawn to the Steps if they are not force fed... we nag a lot - "Did you get a sponsor yet?" and "Did you read the Dr.'s Opinion?" "Will you read "How It Works" for us tonight?"
I also agree with everything Bill W. wrote in this quote on working with newcomers from the BB's Chapter 7:
I don't interrogate 12th Step prospects or newcomers at meetings or anyone else seeking help or information about alcoholism or AA on internet forums like e-aa. It's not my job. I don't do interrogations. I don't question anyone's reasons for seeking AA's help or ask whether or not they believe in God, have a sponsor, read the BB, are working the Steps or pry into any other personal information that is none of my business. Not my job. It's not my job to promote my way of getting sober and staying sober as the "AA way" or the only "right way". My job is to work my own program and share my ESH on what It was like, what happened and what it's like now to encourage identification and give 12th Step prospects and newcomers hope that there is a solution, a way out. My job is the footwork laid out in Chapter 7. My function in AA is to "grow in understanding and effectiveness." The BB tells me this "is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." The results of my performing my job, my function in AA , are God's department."....Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. If you do stay , let him steer the conversation in any direction he like. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help...."