5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

For recovery discussion

5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby shick797 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:25 pm

After 8 months sober I fell off the wagon. I have now been 5 days sober again and I'm already starting to think that I could have a few and it won't be a problem. Why not if I can go 5 days without drinking then I don't have a problem right. I know that this is irrational I know that if I drink it will lead to another month long bender. My rational brain realizes all this, but my irrational addicted brain says go ahead. Its a tough fight. wont be able to get to a meeting for a couple of days so i wanted to vent here.
shick797
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 3:17 pm

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:50 pm

So going to meeting is what you think is the solution?
You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created. You must see the world anew.
Albert Einstein.
User avatar
avaneesh912
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 2456
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby Layne » Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:28 pm

Venting is better than drinking, but it is not the solution. For me healing began when I took the First Step beyond intellectual acceptance to emotional surrender. Rationalization stood in my way for a long time. The alcoholic in me was working hard at sabotaging my efforts. Making a list of five ways that my rationalizing alcoholic mind might try to interfere with my First Step helped me past this stumbling block.
Layne
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1057
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
Location: British Virgin Islands

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby Tuff Gong » Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:57 pm

Surrendering to the undeniable and painfully apparent fact that I am a alcoholic and need a whole program (meetings, sponsor, steps, service) is easily one of the very best things that has happened to me in my life. Stopping the battle where I lost most every single time and came with a horrible price for my family has been nothing short of amazing.

Who would have thought that such an admission and embracing my sponsors directions would bring me a peace of mind, a comfort in my own skin that I used to look for in the bottle.

And the cool thing is that the more I invested in the program the more the desire for escape faded.
I have no issues with God. It's His judgemental fanclub that bothers me.
Tuff Gong
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:12 pm

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby happycamper » Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:03 am

5 days sober and the stinkin thinkin is back huh? My guess is that it never left ...

I have found that it takes a long, long time to get rid of my old ways of thinking and that only comes from constant practice of the program of AA. And even then I can sometimes get that thought of a drink. But if Im honest with myself, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that just one will kill me. To drink is to die.

Meetings will not keep me sober. While yes they are important, it is the practice and working/applying of the 12 steps that is where my true, lasting sobriety comes from.
Faith without works is dead
happycamper
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 944
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 4:36 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby leejosepho » Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:40 am

shick797 wrote:My rational brain realizes ... but my irrational addicted brain says go ahead. Its a tough fight.

I have been in that same kind of place, and that was before I even knew I am alcoholic. All I knew was that I always took a beating every time I stepped into the ring, and then for some reason kept going back into the ring even though that would just mean another beating. It was like I believed there had to be something better that would eventually show up for me somewhere, but I had no idea as to when, where, how or from who.

I would guess you have yet to hear the real A.A. solution. There is no wagon involved, and it resolves the battles within one's mind.
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis and insight added)
=======================
User avatar
leejosepho
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:55 am
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby Mike O » Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:36 pm

shick797 wrote:After 8 months sober I fell off the wagon. I have now been 5 days sober again and I'm already starting to think that I could have a few and it won't be a problem. Why not if I can go 5 days without drinking then I don't have a problem right. I know that this is irrational I know that if I drink it will lead to another month long bender. My rational brain realizes all this, but my irrational addicted brain says go ahead. Its a tough fight. wont be able to get to a meeting for a couple of days so i wanted to vent here.


The solution is here:
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

So get readin'

:)
Mike O
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 3119
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:55 am
Location: UK

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby shick797 » Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:58 pm

Thanks to all that replied.
The Big Book has definitely helped me. I cannot deny that. My isolationism has defeated me. This is also something I cannot deny. I have a lot of trouble seeking help for my issues. ASKING for help has held me back more than anything. I had a sponsor once but he was too intrusive for me. He wanted to know stuff. Has anyone encountered these same barriers? If so please help me understand how you overcame them.
Again thanks to all who replied and any assistance is welcome.
shick797
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 3:17 pm

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby Layne » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:21 pm

When I finally decided that I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, I listened to suggestions. One of those suggestions was that letting down my barriers and allowing trusted allies in, was the pathway to serenity.

For me secrets concerning the width and depth of my powerlessness were poison. Those secrets involved shame and served as a barrier to the self acceptance necessary to taking the First Step.

Intrusions by people that truly cared about my well being were actually not intrusions at all but the extension of helping hands to a drowning man.
Layne
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1057
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
Location: British Virgin Islands

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby leejosepho » Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:52 am

shick797 wrote:... I have a lot of trouble seeking help for my issues. ASKING for help has held me back more than anything. I had a sponsor once but he was too intrusive for me. He wanted to know stuff. Has anyone encountered these same barriers? If so please help me understand how you overcame them.

Ego, fear, pride and/or ignorance are the things that can hold us back from getting what we need, and I have had plenty of trouble with each. The ego says we can figure things out on our own or that we can fix ourselves in one way or another, and repeated efforts to do so can eventually knock that kind of thinking out of the way. If we could have figured things out or fixed ourselves on our own, I speculate we would have already done so a long time ago.

Fear can be a real crippler, and especially for people like us. There is the fear of being found out, or the fear of not being accepted, or the fear of some kind of required conformity and the list can go on, but the worst parts of that are really not an issue since they tie back to the ego that has to be smashed anyway.

Pride is also related to ego, of course, and it can be comforting to know we are each free to believe as we wish and to even die of alcoholism rather than to accept the humility of just being the next alcoholic in need of some real help.

Ignorance might be the biggest obstacle we have, but it is also the easiest to overcome ...

"Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking - 'What do I have to do?'
"It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done." ("A.A.", the book, page 20)

You have already had some experience with a nosey sponsor, so I would suggest one like this:

"... the ex-problem drinker who has found *this* solution, who is properly armed with [certain medical] facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours ...
"That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured - these are the conditions we have found most effective. After such an approach many take up their beds and walk again." (pages 19-20)
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis and insight added)
=======================
User avatar
leejosepho
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:55 am
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby happycamper » Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:20 am

Nice share leejoshepho, thankyou, it helped me!
Faith without works is dead
happycamper
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 944
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 4:36 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: 5 days sober and "stinkin thinkin" is back

Postby KathyAnne » Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:01 am

Thats just what i needed to read. Having been sober only 7 months it has been extremely hard to start sharing, now working through step 4 helps me to see i am not alone and most people have simular issues, and my issues r no longer big issues,because i now talk about them, and get it out and that is so healing. Its fear that holds me back,i wish i had this program years ago.
What we resist persits
Let Go And Let God.
KathyAnne
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 167
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:13 am
Location: England


Return to Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot] and 3 guests