Gratitude tips

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Casper11
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Gratitude tips

Post by Casper11 »

Hi everyone
Would love to hear peoples take on gratitude.
I write a gratitude list everyday. At the moment I can write one but can’t connect with it. It’s almost like I am being a fraud writing it. It’s all true but I’m not feeling it, if that makes any sense..

Is it a case of ‘this too shall pass’ and faux it to make it. Do you think you need to be truly spiritually on your game to feel the flow of gratitude?. Is this possible through hard times? And can you force it?
:?:

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Brock
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by Brock »

I don’t think it’s something we can fake because it’s a feeling, I understand where you are coming from because even though I don’t write a list there are times when I don’t really feel grateful for anything. I feel glad for certain things like being sober, but glad and grateful to me are two different things. My experience is that this does pass and it’s not necessarily connected to being spiritual, I can be sort of not that grateful one day and the next day grateful for everything in life, even the mistakes because I learn from them. Thanks for an interesting topic.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

Hi Casper. Thanks for posting.

I'll spare us both the bad jokes about my youth and a friendly ghost. =biggrin

Can we fake it? I think we can, to carry us through some rough patches. At least that was my experience. On bad days when I would get too far into my own head, I would try to make a list of some things positive in my world that might help me find some balance. Rare is my day when nothing good happens, and rare is my day when nothing bad happens. It sort of comes down to how much attention I choose to devote to either experience.

In our Big Book, we have a wonderful story that discusses when we look for good, we see more of it. Just as when we look for bad, we see more of that too. Lots of AAers quote this story for its wonderful discussion on acceptance. But, the story's author has a philosophy on looking for good as he stayed sober. If you haven't read it for a while, you might want to pull up Dr. Paul's story. You can click on it here: https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigb ... partII.pdf and scroll down to page 407. Acceptance was the Answer.

Gratitude lists are great tools. I try for the top 10 each day. They change depending on what is happening. I'll tell you my top 10 if you tell me yours . . . .

1) I am sober today. 2) I remember what I did last night and have no reason to be ashamed. 3) I am a child of God. 4) I can read, therefore I can communicate, and educate myself. 5) I am physically healthy. 6) I have a husband who loves me. 7) I just ate several raspberry shortbread cookies which were delicious. 8) I spent a couple of hours this morning gulping coffee and sharing life with another sober AAer. 9). I feel safe in my neighborhood. And 10) I saw a picture of a young puppy a friend of mine is adopting.

Not every day has to be great. But there is something good in every day.

Betsy
an alcoholic
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

Indianapolis
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by Indianapolis »

Lists are great, not taking anything away from lists. But I do them very, very rarely.

That said, I make a point every day to reflect. When I sit and reflect, I usually spot something in the day worthy of gratitude. I try to really open myself to the feelings, dwell in them, connect with them for a few seconds.

I'm not sure I'd have the same experience if I was trying to crank something out onto a page to "check a box." Gratitude is a function of joy, which is a feeling. Personally, I need to sit and feel it. YMMV.

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PaigeB
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Re: Gratitude tips

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Casper11 wrote:
Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:15 pm
Hi everyone
Would love to hear peoples take on gratitude.
I write a gratitude list everyday. At the moment I can write one but can’t connect with it. It’s almost like I am being a fraud writing it. It’s all true but I’m not feeling it, if that makes any sense..

Is it a case of ‘this too shall pass’ and faux it to make it. Do you think you need to be truly spiritually on your game to feel the flow of gratitude?. Is this possible through hard times? And can you force it?
:?:
Action and more action. It is practical and IT WORKS.

Gratitude and Humility are sisters. When you can't find one of them, look for the other! It NEVER fails that when I DO service work, be it to my Homegroup or my family, I feel humbled and I also feel grateful. When I am soaring with Gratitude of some small apparent victory in my life, I also feel Humility for the gift.
Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. (Pg 89 BB)
I can look inside and Know... I have both, I just have to take some Action to make it all "real" to me.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

tomsteve
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by tomsteve »

Casper11 wrote:
Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:15 pm
Do you think you need to be truly spiritually on your game to feel the flow of gratitude?. Is this possible through hard times? And can you force it?
:?:
absolutely dont need to be spiritually fit to practice gratitude and is possible through hard times.
i was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma 13 months into recovery. spent the next 2 1/2 years fighting it. many,many 300 mile round trips to where i was being taken care of. many times i was losing it-sometimes a bit depressed.sometimes fearful. sometimes frustrated. sometimes just a wee bit selfish and whiney( i didnt want to be going through chemo- i wanted to be fishin!). but i could always find something to be greatful for.
one of the greatest:
going THROUGH it all and never having the desire for a drink.

forcing gratitude? idk if i would call it that but if i could think of something to be greatful for and keep thinking about it, eventually it will get from my head to my heart.

trudge the road of happy destiny

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Layne
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by Layne »

It’s all true but I’m not feeling it, if that makes any sense..
I know what you mean and felt similar at one time. I think it is fairly normal and beieve that many people have experienced the same. Gratitude doesn't start as a spontaneous combustion. It is a process.

A fire can start from a single spark, but it takes time and tending to get it to burst into full flame. Writing a genuine list is gathering your fire starting material. Then comes the sometimes tedious process of creating a spark by reading and reflecting on the list. The more you do it, the better chance you have of a spark turning into ember. Breathing and careful fanning of the embers will in turn produce a flame. Tending to the flame and feeding it with more kindling from your list of gathered material will eventually result in a roaring fire.

The fire starting process takes time, effort, and tending. It is not faking it until you make it, it is trusting the process to result in a soul warming fire. It has been my experience that patience and persistence produced the results I sought.

Tonyc
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by Tonyc »

Sometimes you may not be feeling it. What I did is make a gratitude jar. I wrote 1 thing I was grateful for on a small piece of paper, and filled a jar full of them. Every couple days I pic one. Then i think about it and when possible if a person or thing show it gratitude. Then do it again. It helps you appreciate what you have. You can have so much and simply look over it. We are selfish. Be content and help others recover. We were blessed and need to give it back

ERP
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by ERP »

Casper11 wrote:
Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:15 pm
Hi everyone
Would love to hear peoples take on gratitude.
I write a gratitude list everyday. At the moment I can write one but can’t connect with it. It’s almost like I am being a fraud writing it. It’s all true but I’m not feeling it, if that makes any sense..

Is it a case of ‘this too shall pass’ and faux it to make it. Do you think you need to be truly spiritually on your game to feel the flow of gratitude?. Is this possible through hard times? And can you force it?
:?:
Hi! I've spent the last few years working to move from a very similar place that you describe to feeling genuinely grateful throughout the day.

The first step in having gratitude is to take a clear inventory of the things in our possession that we are grateful for. The starting point should always be our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health followed by progressive happiness. If those elements are already okay, or are in good shape, we need to give a maximum amount of love for them as each of those elements are experienced throughout the course of the day. When you wake up, send love to the universe for being alive. This will immediately create a positive physiological effect in the body, which affects our mind, heart, and spirit in the physical, material and spiritual world.

Next, begin to review every single thing that happens, focusing on the positive impact that each thing provides you. Appreciate clean running water when you brush your teeth, shower, clean dishes, brew tea, and for any of the things that are normally taken for granted. Begin to look at them in a new way. For each thing, take a few seconds and send love to it. As your day progresses, think about the events as they unfold -“here is my transportation. I’m sending love for transportation. I’m able to walk. I’m sending love for having both my legs, my feet and for being able to walk.” If you are paralyzed, be grateful for the movement that you still have. When you see things, fully use your eyes to see and appreciate their beauty. As you review the physical assets that you have, send love for each of them. When you think of your loved ones, send giant love towards them.

By now you get the idea. Send love early and often, liberally pouring it on to every single thing that you encounter in your day that provides you with a positive impact. By doing so, your internal physiology will begin to increase and create more good feelings, greater health and increased happiness and prosperity. As your message gets stronger and amplifies into the universe you will get more of what you want, like and love.

The more you do it, the stronger the feeling of love will grow within you and the gratitude you have for everything will start to become maximized.

Hope this helps :)

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Brock
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by Brock »

ERP wrote:
Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:57 pm
Appreciate clean running water when you brush your teeth, shower, clean dishes, brew tea, and for any of the things that are normally taken for granted.
Lovely post, thanks for it.

I must admit I often forget to be grateful for all of the things mentioned, my favorite spiritual writer Eckhart Tolle speaks of things like water, and just paying attention to the feel of it on our skin can make it a new experience. Also when we go out, instead of quickly starting the car and speeding off, it’s a nice practice to take our time and give a little thanks for the day and ask our higher power to guide us on our drive.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

ERP
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Re: Gratitude tips

Post by ERP »

Lovely post, thanks for it.

I must admit I often forget to be grateful for all of the things mentioned, my favorite spiritual writer Eckhart Tolle speaks of things like water, and just paying attention to the feel of it on our skin can make it a new experience. Also when we go out, instead of quickly starting the car and speeding off, it’s a nice practice to take our time and give a little thanks for the day and ask our higher power to guide us on our drive.
[/quote]

Exactly! I find I enjoy my day to day much more as I make a conscious effort to appreciate as many of the little things as possible. Life is a gift after all. I mean, just the chances of us existing is ridiculously small. I've heard 1 in 400 trillion, but thats prolly an underestimate given all the possible variables in the universe.

Hope you enjoy your day on this beautiful floating rock in space ;)

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