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Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 am
by Jojo2
Page 417 Acceptance

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition


Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.


Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. 


Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous online link is

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline

https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigb ... partII.pdf

Big Book - Personal Stories - Part II - They Stopped in Time - (pp. 277-431)

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.   Reprinted with permission    
  

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 4:59 am
by D'oh
My favourite Passage of my Favourite Storey in the BB. (also in the 3rd Edition under Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict, and Grapevine Bronze Moccasins)

Dr. Paul O. sums it up Completely. His struggles differ from what got me through the Doors, but his Program is very close to what I try to work.

I even had my Daughter (not an Alkie) read it at the Cabin one night, after I pulled my BB out to read that very Chapter. (I am not a Reader) just to explain some of the Twists we go through to get what is so Freely Granted.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:26 am
by shangc1107
Jojo2 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 am

Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.    
  
Good Morning,

This idea of acceptance is really helpful for me. I compare acceptance to a weak muscle that I need to build up gradually. At least I recognize that it needs work and I know a few exercises to make it stronger.

With my alcoholism, I accepted that I was an alcoholic about ten years before I began any kind of attempt to get sober. "Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, but it's just not affecting my life badly enough for me to change anything." I won't say that I wish I had done something before I really crossed the line into crazy alcoholism, but what I have learned from that is that I don't need to wait until a behavior I do results in a rock bottom before I can change it.

And,that's the good news! I can change my behaviors. I am not only responsible for my behaviors, but I also have the power to change them. What I am exercising is acceptance to the fact that I am not responsible for anyone else's behavior and I do not have the power to change them. Same for the virus...not my circus, not my monkeys as they say! Does this make me feel happy? I don't know, but I know I'm not not happy =smile .

Thanks for letting me share!
Shanna

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 11:48 am
by Lavender
Acceptance to me equals unconditional love not only for myself but all and everything around me.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:51 pm
by Mike O
It’s my favourite story too. Dr Paul O has written a couple of books, one of which I’ve read and has helped me, entitled “You Can’t Make Me Angry”

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:19 pm
by Layne
Accepting the fact that I was powerless over alcohol, was the starting point for alcohol losing it's power over me.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2020 3:09 pm
by PaigeB
Mike O wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:51 pm
It’s my favourite story too. Dr Paul O has written a couple of books, one of which I’ve read and has helped me, entitled “You Can’t Make Me Angry”
I read that too!

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:30 am
by retired baker
Jojo2 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 am
Page 417 Acceptance

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition


Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today.
Theres a tendency to look for something in the stories section that de-emphasizes the need to pay attention to the program pages.
Acceptance is not the answer to any of my needs, rather , acceptance is the result of what I do in the steps.

It would be the same as saying I practice serenity, nope, its the direct result.
I can't experience the results before working the steps but newcomers will tend toward that.

Comfort the disturbed but disturb the comfortable.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2020 11:49 am
by Mike O
retired baker wrote:
Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:30 am
Jojo2 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 am
Page 417 Acceptance

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition


Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today.
Theres a tendency to look for something in the stories section that de-emphasizes the need to pay attention to the program pages.
Acceptance is not the answer to any of my needs, rather , acceptance is the result of what I do in the steps.

It would be the same as saying I practice serenity, nope, its the direct result.
I can't experience the results before working the steps but newcomers will tend toward that.

Comfort the disturbed but disturb the comfortable.
Interesting!
Do you have experience of newcomers using the stories to avoid, or distract from, the steps? I must admit, it’s not something that’s ever crossed my mind as being a possibility.
I’ve only ever viewed the stories as being illustrative of the power of the steps.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:25 am
by SOY
Acceptance ought not to be confused with complacency. For the rest of your life, you must only accept what you cannot hope to change.

You should only accept what is true.

Accepting truths will bring you closer to harmony with yourself, and the rest of nature, as everything is in a constant state of motion and alteration as it moves through time and space. When your actions are parallel to your words, and values, there is less internal contradiction, less dissonance.

If the universe were represented as vast darkness, only illuminated by the light of God found in every living thing, we as man would shine in proportion to our acceptance of the truth.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:32 am
by retired baker
Mike O wrote:
Sat Mar 28, 2020 11:49 am
retired baker wrote:
Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:30 am
Jojo2 wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:46 am
Page 417 Acceptance

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition


Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today.
Theres a tendency to look for something in the stories section that de-emphasizes the need to pay attention to the program pages.
Acceptance is not the answer to any of my needs, rather , acceptance is the result of what I do in the steps.

It would be the same as saying I practice serenity, nope, its the direct result.
I can't experience the results before working the steps but newcomers will tend toward that.

Comfort the disturbed but disturb the comfortable.
Interesting!
Do you have experience of newcomers using the stories to avoid, or distract from, the steps? I must admit, it’s not something that’s ever crossed my mind as being a possibility.
I’ve only ever viewed the stories as being illustrative of the power of the steps.
absolutely, one woman said ' as the book says 'more will be revealed".
She was making the point that we have learned more since the old days and the program has moved on.
Early on I thought the same thing myself, my first meeting I saw the step poster and assumed it was just for history, something they did in the old days.

I've seen it multiple times and with other stories, I am wary of this, they are often misused and can contain contrary information having nothing to do with the program.

20 yrs ago I was attending step study meetings, the chair told us about an approach in the book, if you resent someone just make a list of everything you want in your life and pray the other person gets it instead of you. If you do that for a week the resentment will go away.!
Isn't that convenient, no amends required.
I found that nonsense quite attractive as did all the other newcomers at our meeting. None of us got well there.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:19 am
by Layne
if you resent someone just make a list of everything you want in your life and pray the other person gets it instead of you. If you do that for a week the resentment will go away.!
Isn't that convenient, no amends required.
Resentments can block people from making an apology. If an apology is to be part of an amends, then getting rid of the resentment, is a step in the right direction.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Sun May 03, 2020 9:42 pm
by Soberguy27
Acceptance to me is letting go of the need to be right. When I don't accept something it is because I feel like I know better or know how to do something the right way or know how someone should behave.
Acceptance is letting go of always having to be right and in doing so I can accept the reality of life. It is not the answer to all my problems but it does make things much easier.

Re: Acceptance

Posted: Mon May 04, 2020 4:01 am
by avaneesh912
We accept/realize/admit whatever but then then next thing one has to do is ask that ask the question, what do I have to do? I have heard so many people share that "I knew I am an alcoholic but i kept drinking". There comes a point where the internal guide wakes up and directs us to take action. What we have to do is to facilitate this process in a new comer. We have to drive home the dire nature of the disease but also use the material back of the book "working with others" to give them hope. That life is possible without booze.