Struggling

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alexanonymous
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Struggling

Post by alexanonymous » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:56 pm

Hi all. I’ve lurked on this forum for a while. I relapsed and drank again recently and I’ve got a day and a half sober.

My mind keeps twisting on me. Telling me to drink even though I know it won’t be fun or any different than what it has been. I can make it a couple days and then I can’t fight my mind off anymore. How do I not give in? I feel like I’m in a nightmare.

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Jojo2
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Re: Struggling

Post by Jojo2 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:28 am

alexanonymous wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:56 pm
Hi all. I’ve lurked on this forum for a while. I relapsed and drank again recently and I’ve got a day and a half sober.

My mind keeps twisting on me. Telling me to drink even though I know it won’t be fun or any different than what it has been. I can make it a couple days and then I can’t fight my mind off anymore. How do I not give in? I feel like I’m in a nightmare.
Welcome Alex.

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Can you get to a meeting today?

To request a temporary sponsor to get you started with the AA programme until you secure a face to face sponsor, please complete our form here:

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php

A temporary sponsor is a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic as a way of service to help insure their own sobriety.

Their main function is to help guide the new person towards the 12 Steps, and also, where appropriate, to help guide the new person to face to face meetings and a f2f sponsor in their local AA community.


An excellent introduction on sponsorship, permanent or temporary, with questions and answers, is this pamphlet
from GSO :

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship:
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf


The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous online link is
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline

The following chapters are a good place to start:

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf



You will also find much information and resources by following the links below:

A.A. Near You.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

Outside US and Canada >

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa- ... es/world/1


There is no shortage of support.

Do please ask if you need further assistance.

Akroyd
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Re: Struggling

Post by Akroyd » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:54 am

I could not stay stopped no matter the need or the desire. I always lost the fight eventually. Alcoholism is a an illness. When I take a drink i develop a physical craving that means I can’t control the amount I drink. I also suffered with a mental obsession, if I wasn’t drinking I was thinking about drinking.
I was unable to think my way out of this illness. Unable to just not drink.

But happily we have a solution, our 12 step program removes any need to fight this thing. It lays out a way the problem can be removed.

alexanonymous
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Re: Struggling

Post by alexanonymous » Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:35 am

Hi, thanks to both of your replying. I probably should’ve included more info in my post. I had 21 months sober through AA prior to drinking again. So I know where the groups are in my area, might still have a sponsor (idk if he’s still willing to work with me or not, and have some phone numbers and stuff.

I know that long-term the steps are the answer. I intend to work the steps with someone (if my current one doesn’t want to try again, I’m willing to find someone else). I’m just having a hard time sitting through all the tricks my head is playing on me. Just been reading the book, praying a lot, made the meeting earlier tonight, hung out with sober people earlier today. I guess I’m just looking advice on how to not drink until I can get with a sponsor and start on my steps. I apologize for not giving y’all much to work with. Thank you again for your responses.

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avaneesh912
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Re: Struggling

Post by avaneesh912 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:48 am

Pray and cling on to something and try not to pick up. It’s the peculiar mental twist that leads us back to that first drink. Read the stories in the chapter “more about alcoholism”. Man of thirty, the car salesman story and Fred the accountant story. They all either went through the twist or hit a blank spot. And then the allergy kicked in. There is that deep realization that one is an alcoholic and the willingness to try this program. See how unmanageability leads Jim back into drinking. It’s says “he failed to enlarge his spiritual life” and has the twist. Get busy my friend. Selfishness and self centeredness is the cause of all our troubles. So we need to figure out those areas where we are that.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Theo50
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Re: Struggling

Post by Theo50 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:35 am

alexanonymous wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:56 pm
Hi all. I’ve lurked on this forum for a while. I relapsed and drank again recently and I’ve got a day and a half sober.

My mind keeps twisting on me. Telling me to drink even though I know it won’t be fun or any different than what it has been. I can make it a couple days and then I can’t fight my mind off anymore. How do I not give in? I feel like I’m in a nightmare.
Try getting yourself through just short periods of time, even just 15 minutes. Then when you make it to an hour, reflect on how you managed to get through that hour and think to yourself that you survived that one hour without a drink, so maybe you can survive another hour.
I would also suggest writing down why you don't want to drink and go back to this list every time your mind starts wavering.
We have all been through this. You can do this. Get to some meetings to surround yourself with others that understand what you are going through.

There are also some great Youtube audios/videos available to watch to keep your mind in a better place. I would suggest the "Joe & Charlie" audios.

Indianapolis
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Re: Struggling

Post by Indianapolis » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:42 am

My strategy was to get real busy making a strategy. I spent a lot of time in those early minutes reading recovery-related books, surfing recovery-related forums, hitting all the meetings I could, texting other alcoholics, coffees with other alcoholics, searching for other meetings that may be more convenient or fill a different time slot --- generally just completely overdoing the program. It wasn't sustainable -- I found myself burned out after a few weeks. But, it got me through a few weeks, which was all I needed to get through a few more days, and so on....

Good luck! I know the feeling you're going through.

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: Struggling

Post by MyNameIsBetsy » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:42 am

Hi Alex, thanks for posting and giving us the opportunity to get to know you.

Those early days are tough. We've all been there. The key to getting through each day sober is the WILLINGNESS to do so!!! Hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute.

If you are anything like me, your head will tell you that you deserve the drink, what's the big deal, just have two, everyone else does it . . . all sorts of lies. Distract yourself with something else and tell that brain to "shut up!"

Here are some ideas that helped me get through my first weeks sober, and they just might help you too!!:

- ask HP for a day of sobriety and the WILLINGNESS to do my part.
- find an AA meeting each day and go. I liked early morning meetings because it gave me something to think about as my day went forward.
- talk to one or two people after each meeting. I am a shy woman and it is hard to make myself talk to people I don't know. But, doing this helped me get to know other people in recovery.
- get a sponsor! Amazing how this sponsorship thing works!!
- read our books. I took my big book with me to all sorts of places.
- distraction. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Burn off some of that anxiety!
- keep hanging out here at e-AA. I got sober here years ago and hung out here most evenings. This place filled my head with sober thoughts, and gave me something to fill all those evening hours I normally would have been drinking.
- next morning, thank HP for yesterday's sober day and ask for another day of sobriety today, and the WILLINGNESS to do it again!

It is a constant source of joy for me to wake up each morning remembering what I have done the night before. Never. Gets. Old. You are waking up this morning with that same experience . . . YAY!!!

Welcome back, Alex.

Betsy, alcoholic
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

Mike O
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Re: Struggling

Post by Mike O » Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:33 am

You do not have to wait for a sponsor to begin the steps. Don’t put it off. The instructions, exactly what those guys did, are there in the book.

tomsteve
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Re: Struggling

Post by tomsteve » Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:40 am

alexanonymous wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:35 am
. I guess I’m just looking advice on how to not drink until I can get with a sponsor and start on my steps. I apologize for not giving y’all much to work with. Thank you again for your responses.
start working the steps.you dont have to wait for a sponsor for that- youre already working them when praying(but start at step 1).and add to that:
pray like crazy,goto meetings, and dont drink even when your arse is falling off.
get phone numbers and use em,too.

Indianapolis
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Re: Struggling

Post by Indianapolis » Thu Feb 13, 2020 3:16 pm

Any update, Alex? How are you doing? We care, man! Check back in, we're here to help however we can. Seriously.

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positrac
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Re: Struggling

Post by positrac » Wed Feb 19, 2020 4:13 am

A lot of factors go into us wanting to quit and get back to what we thought we did well at------> Drinking and drugging and the end result is the same and it is a vicious cycle to shake off.

I recently contacted a friend of mine who saved my hide and even gambled on my capabilities of a employee 30 years ago. His wife at the time was in AA and she took me to meetings over in Imperial Beach (San Diego)

She eventually went back out, my friend divorced her and he moved on. I have not forgotten my last drunk!!! And I have not forgotten who helped me to get the program after 3 failed and might add very little motivation to get sober. My friend drinks and so his true understanding is not as I'd like and yet I know he was merely the vessel to get me into AA and to stay sober.

it was a scary time and I had a very hard time even trying to let go of my inner control as I thought I had!

Point here is to find a group and find a person who has what you want if you were sober and clear thinking. Speak with them and find what you need and let the rest go. Time heals us in ways we can't fathom and it is time that lets us reflect on the past if we keep coming back sober. Simple program for complicated people.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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PaigeB
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Re: Struggling

Post by PaigeB » Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:47 am

alexanonymous wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:35 am
I know that long-term the steps are the answer..
avaneesh912 wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:48 am
Pray and cling on to something and try not to pick up.
Praying didn't work for me. Trying didn't work for me. I needed something atheist and practical. They told me, "Don't drink today and see what happens." It worked! I was able to "cling" through until bedtime and magically I woke up sober. I started to gain Faith that AA had a practical program of action that would work for... yes, even me! AA looked like that "flimsy reed"* in a storm, but turned out to be dependably solid!

Once I had some separation from alcohol, about 90 days and about as many meetings, I started to work the Steps with a sponsor. I have worked them several times since then too. I went from believing in "one less god than you" to believing that GOD is in every atom & molecule of the Universe (that's a lot of gods!) :lol: :lol:

*We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living "that really works. Page 28 BB.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

DaveP1951
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Re: Struggling

Post by DaveP1951 » Fri Feb 21, 2020 4:51 pm

You are probably stressed out about starting "over"again. Stress is one of the biggest factors in "twisting our minds" around. Relax and accept the fact that you are in the second category of people that enter AA. The first being those that come in and stay sober with no relapse. The third being the ones that come in and slip around and die out there. An then there's your category. The second type of person. The one that comes in and has a slip or two but eventually gets and stays sober. As Bill said "Take it as a kick up stairs instead of down. Oh, and by the way, I'm in the same category as you. Came into AA in 1978, stayed sober for 23 months and went back out. Sober now for 39 years. Took it as a "kick up stairs" and learned a valuable lesson. Don't stress yourself crazy it's not going to help. Wish you all the best.

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PaigeB
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Re: Struggling

Post by PaigeB » Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:57 am

DaveP1951 wrote:
Fri Feb 21, 2020 4:51 pm
As Bill said "Take it as a kick up stairs instead of down."
Oh I love that and I am not sure I have heard it! I have likely read it, but I need it now, so it FEELS new, LOL.
Our spiritual and emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down. ~ AS BILL SEES IT, p. 184
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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