One day at a time

For recovery discussion
User avatar
PaigeB
Trusted Servant
Posts: 8412
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:28 pm
Location: Iowa USA

Re: One day at a time

Post by PaigeB » Tue Nov 05, 2019 12:54 pm

I like the Thomas Merton Prayer too - " I don't know where I am going... I don't know if I am doing your will, but the fact that I want to do your will is pleasing." something along those lines... Non-Conf stuff, but a good one all the same.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

User avatar
ebear
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 152
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2019 11:26 am
Location: Irvington, NY

Re: One day at a time

Post by ebear » Thu Nov 07, 2019 7:12 am

Staying away from a drink "one day at a time" helped me in early recovery. Now when I hear the phrase, I take it to mean "stay in the present." It also aligns with this part of the Lord's Prayer, which focuses on today: "Give us this day our daily bread." That reminds me not to treat my HP as a Costco, where I can stock up for a month.
If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're headed.

D'oh
Forums Long Timer
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:51 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:26 pm

one day at a time?
The Origin of our Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change Courage to change the
things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next.
Amen

davep54
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:40 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by davep54 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:00 am

D'oh, In the BB the serenity prayer ends with "your will not mine be done", not your version. Personally I'd like to end meetings with this, not "keep coming back, it works if you work it" crap.

User avatar
Brock
Trusted Servant
Posts: 4006
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: One day at a time

Post by Brock » Wed Nov 20, 2019 2:18 pm

davep54 wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:00 am
Personally I'd like to end meetings with this, not "keep coming back, it works if you work it" crap.
A man after my own heart. I don’t even understand what they mean by work it, or ‘I am working step X or Y,’ and judging from newcomers asking what it means, I am not alone. What happened to simple words like using it, or following it?

Be careful writing here about things you find wrong with AA however, it sometimes solicits comments from certain folk, who might suggest it’s our ego, lack of acceptance, or some other amateur psychiatric diagnosis, when it’s nothing more than a mere observation.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Layne
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 1702
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:20 am
Location: British Virgin Islands

Re: One day at a time

Post by Layne » Wed Nov 20, 2019 4:27 pm

from Big Book pages 65-66
The first thing ap­parent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alco­holic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is in­finitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcohol­ics these things are poison.
Good food for thought and reflection in this passage. My journey is one of progress and not perfection, so continued revisiting this page is helpful to me.

User avatar
Daelynn
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 6:36 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by Daelynn » Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:13 pm

I sometimes feel like "old timers" forget what is like to live a day or half hour at a time. They forget the desperation, the minute by minute struggle not to go off the rails. That is why that slogan exists. Sorry it is not for you, now, but it does help the new comer live one more sober day or hour and not die.

D'oh
Forums Long Timer
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:51 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:47 pm

There is more to "One Day at a Time" than Newbie's Struggles. There is more to Sobriety, than putting the Plug in the Jug.

For myself, Living Today so that I don't have Regrets and Remorse tomorrow, and with the Faith that Tomorrow will come and go with minimal turmoil's and troubles. Newbie or Old Timers. However, the Faith in Tomorrow grows as Sober Todays pass.
D'oh, In the BB the serenity prayer ends with "your will not mine be done", not your version. Personally I'd like to end meetings with this, not "keep coming back, it works if you work it" crap.
I think that might be the 3rd Step Prayer or a Portion there of. Which might have started with an 18th Century Prayer.
"God give me the detachment to accept those things I cannot titleer;
the courage to titleer those things I can titleer;
and the wisdom to distinguish the one thing from the other."

davep54
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:40 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by davep54 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:49 pm

Brock wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 2:18 pm
davep54 wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:00 am
Personally I'd like to end meetings with this, not "keep coming back, it works if you work it" crap.
A man after my own heart. I don’t even understand what they mean by work it, or ‘I am working step X or Y,’ and judging from newcomers asking what it means, I am not alone. What happened to simple words like using it, or following it?

Be careful writing here about things you find wrong with AA however, it sometimes solicits comments from certain folk, who might suggest it’s our ego, lack of acceptance, or some other amateur psychiatric diagnosis, when it’s nothing more than a mere observation.
Thanks for the advice. An older sober member told me early in my sobriety "if you want to get talked about or criticised in AA, do something". I'm comfortable with my statements, considered over many years before saying them.

davep54
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:40 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by davep54 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:50 pm

Daelynn wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:13 pm
I sometimes feel like "old timers" forget what is like to live a day or half hour at a time. They forget the desperation, the minute by minute struggle not to go off the rails. That is why that slogan exists. Sorry it is not for you, now, but it does help the new comer live one more sober day or hour and not die.
This is why I work with newcomers, it reminds me of how things were and could be again if my spiritual condition slips. It's a recovery program thing.

davep54
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:40 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by davep54 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:53 pm

At my home group when the promises are read out and the passage re "are these extravagant promises?' the whole group states "we think not" I scares me to have these rituals, it reminds me of a Catholic Mass.

User avatar
Daelynn
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 6:36 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by Daelynn » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:35 pm

Is the point of one day at a time that if one does run into cravings out of the blue, theres a good chance he wont have it tomorrow?

User avatar
avaneesh912
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: One day at a time

Post by avaneesh912 » Tue Nov 26, 2019 5:18 am

That kind of experience are fine for some moderately afflicted people. But the alcoholic cannot survive a temporary fix. The obsession could come back real hard and he/she could be blind-sighted. Thats why its very important to realize what powerlessness and un-manageability really mean. How are they connected. Once we acquire the knowledge, with little bit of willingness and applying honesty, looking back at our own drinking career, we could easily determine if we are alcoholic or not. And then, again with little bit of willingness, we can consider the rest of the steps so we can have a permanent fix. We could live an obsession free life and live life one day at a time.

The stories of Car salesman and Fred the Account and even the Man of thirty are there to illustrate that it doesn't work unless the alcoholic stays top his game.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

D'oh
Forums Long Timer
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:51 am

Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Tue Nov 26, 2019 5:38 am

Bill W's and Dr. Bob's 2nd question to Bill D. (the first successful 12th Step)
The next question they asked was, "You can quit twenty-four hours, can't you?" I said, "Sure, yes, anybody can do that, for twenty-four hours." They said, "That's what we're talking about. Just twenty-four hours at a time." That sure did take a load off of my mind. Every time I'd start thinking about drinking, I would think of the long, dry years ahead without having a drink; but this idea of twenty-four hours, that it was up to me from then on, was a lot of help.
page 188 4th Edition.

Response to this Question.
One of the fellows, I think it was Doc, said, "Well, you want to quit?" I said, "Yes, Doc, I would like to quit, at least for five, six, or eight months, until I get things straightened up, and begin to get the respect of my wife and some other people back, and get my finances fixed up and so on." And they both laughed very heartily, and said, "Thats better than you've been doing, isn't it?" Which of course was true. They said, "We've got some bad news for you. It was bad news for us, and it will probably be bad news for you. Weather you quit six days, months, or years, if you go out and take a drink or two you'll end up in the hospital tied down, just like you have been in these past six months. You are an alcoholic." As far as I know that was the first time I had ever paid any attention to that word. I figured I was a drunk. And they said, " No, you have a disease, and it doesn't make any

User avatar
Brock
Trusted Servant
Posts: 4006
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: One day at a time

Post by Brock » Tue Nov 26, 2019 6:08 am

Is the point of one day at a time that if one does run into cravings out of the blue, theres a good chance he wont have it tomorrow?
I don't think that's the intention, although I have heard it used that way.

I am from the West Indies, and many members here think when an American visitor speaks in a meeting, they should listen closely, some crazy idea that Americans know more about AA than we do. A lady flight attendant said in a meeting, ‘If I feel to drink today, I tell myself I will drink tomorrow, then tomorrow I don’t feel to drink, that’s how I use one day at a time.’ I think statements like that are very misleading, and certainly not what the saying was meant to convey.

It’s simply useful to newcomers before doing the steps, to break sobriety down into smaller time packages, as in stay sober one day at a time, then after doing the steps, it’s used as a reminder to live one day at a time, which is a well known spiritual practice, forget what happened yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow, live for today.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Post Reply