One day at a time

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Layne
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Re: One day at a time

Post by Layne » Wed Oct 30, 2019 8:57 pm

To be honest, if I were a newcomer, I would find some of the attitudes displayed on this thread to be off-putting.

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avaneesh912
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Re: One day at a time

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Oct 31, 2019 4:28 am

Selfishness and Self Centeredness is the Root of Our problem, driven by hundreds of forms of Fear.
Yes, thats the recipe for us "upon awakening and before retiring". Sobriety is a side product of what we do.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Re: One day at a time

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Oct 31, 2019 4:33 am

Another related thingy to ODAAT is the celebration of AA birthdays; if an individual does ODAAT how can he/she have a sobriety birthday? I could throw Founders Day into the mix but I wont. None of it makes common sense and the program of recovery is very sensible.
Google "24 hour plan AA" you should find an article by one of those freethinkers who prefers Living Sober Book to other literature. Thats where the fellowship is today.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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PaigeB
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Re: One day at a time

Post by PaigeB » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:25 am

Brock wrote:
Wed Oct 30, 2019 10:56 am
People with years under their belt share that they do it today, it makes the program not attractive.
Well said, that’s the problem right there, and why the misuse of that phrase has made it a pet peeve of mine as well.

We should always use these things in reference to what we do before the steps kick in, not doing that, and saying something like, ‘I am twenty years sober, one day at a time,’ makes it sound like you struggled every day.

The other day someone was saying here, that when a person relapses, it’s because they didn’t ask God to keep them sober for that day. Again, how attractive does that look to some newcomer reading here, or going to their first meeting and hearing that. If your practice is, after years of sobriety, still asking for a daily reprieve, OK for you, nobody can tell you what to do. But it doesn't give you the right, to have some newcomer thinking that’s what AA is about, because it certainly is not.

Spiritual fitness, like physical fitness, surely has a ‘shelf life.’ If I stop exercising today, my physical fitness will reduce day by day, if I stop my spiritual practice today, same deal. As each day passes I will grow increasingly discontented, my family and friends will probably notice it in my mood, there will be many signs that I am playing with fire and doing the wrong thing, and probably if I continue like that a drink will be in my hand one day soon. But it won’t be the first day like some folks say, I wouldn’t want a weak program like that, and the AA program is anything but weak.
If they would have shoved me to my knees for prayer I would be DEAD. They might be too. Thankfully they suggested getting a sponsor and working the Steps. I was vocal about being a firm (but not belligerant) atheist. I was rarely told to try prayer and yet I STAYED SOBER... This "shelf life" between one meeting and the next was not always even 24 hours. AND YES! That little trick of the mind ODAAT worked for me. SO I AM FOR whatever works. I hate when folks find out what DIDN'T work - but that happens.

WHY are religious men and women in the program? Certainly they called out to God for help right? I like to think that we each drink our coffee a different way and there are lots of beans to chose from. Some don't drink coffee.

We get what we get when we get it. :mrgreen:
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: One day at a time

Post by tomsteve » Thu Oct 31, 2019 12:43 pm

live and let live.

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Re: One day at a time

Post by innermost » Thu Oct 31, 2019 2:30 pm

One day at a time:
For the beginner can be a helpful saying
to say today I won't drink.
"Okay I can do a day".

One day at a time:
For the person with years or no thought of drinking can use it in a spiritual sense and reminder of self will.
Turning the will over to HP this day. Then practice during this day.

pg.85 BB (In step 10)
“we are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve
contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”
Also our step 11 asks us to review our day. Then think about the 24 hrs. ahead upon waking.

So I believe that One day at a time can be a complex slogan that can be interpreted in many ways.
In many spiritual beliefs, the day your in is the most important.
Some spiritual teachings say to narrow it down from the day to THE ETERNAL NOW.
The first 164 pg. is the program!

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Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:05 pm

they would have shoved me to my knees for prayer I would be DEAD
Most definitely here too. And I don't expect anyone else to get on their knees before My HP.

It is of My understanding. Explaining my Outhouse encounter in pre Marriage weekend (to be able to be Married in my Family's Church) as "My vision of God" it almost got me kicked out of the program, 29 years ago.

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Brock
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Re: One day at a time

Post by Brock » Thu Oct 31, 2019 6:52 pm

Paige said -
I like to think that we each drink our coffee a different way and there are lots of beans to chose from.
I agree with this, and have always said that however someone does their program is their right, and their own business. But each of us is a walking, talking, & forums contributing, advertisement for AA, and if we want new folks to drink the coffee, we better put it over in an attractive way.

In the chapter ‘Into Action,’ we see in suggestions for preparing for the day ahead, words like these -
We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind… we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.
Yes, working part of the mind, no struggle, that’s how to sell the coffee. Instead, some make it sound like a daily struggle, as in ‘I am twenty years sober, one day at a time.’ Even the Daily Reflection recently with this -
For me it's quite simple: on a daily basis I ask my Higher Power to grant me the gift of sobriety for that day! I have talked to many alcoholics who have gone back to drinking and I always ask them: "Did you pray for sobriety the day you took your first drink?" Not one of them said yes.
I am not a big fan of the reflections, and this is an example why, if only the writer had said, when they talked to newcomers who had slipped, or to those who hadn’t done the steps yet, no problem. But put the way it is, sounds like my ass is grass even after my good years of sobriety, should I fail to specifically pray for sobriety every day. The suggestions in the book, call more for things like asking to remember who is in charge, and to be free from selfishness and being self centered. If I was new to AA, and got the impression from reading this reflection, that for the rest of my life, if I didn’t specifically pray to be sober every day, I would then slip, I doubt I would stay.

Innermost quoted from step 10 - “we are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” Yes correct, but the line just before this says - “It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe.” Headed for trouble, I wrote about that before, in the idea I put forward of spiritual fitness having a ‘shelf life.’ My point is, those who inadvertently make the program look like a lifelong daily struggle, are advertising it badly, and not the way the literature says it works.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Thu Oct 31, 2019 8:07 pm


I am not a big fan of the reflections, and this is an example why, if only the writer had said, when they talked to newcomers who had slipped, or to those who hadn’t done the steps yet, no problem. But put the way it is, sounds like my ass is grass even after my good years of sobriety, should I fail to specifically pray for sobriety every day.
On the other side. This sounds that after Years of Sobriety, "You have Conquered Alcohol" there fore Life is no longer a Problem. 2 Ways of looking at this.

Myself, I look at Sobriety as a Gift. I don't own it, but I do get to use it as long as I remember where it came from. Humbly saying many times "Thy will, not mine be Done."

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Re: One day at a time

Post by avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 01, 2019 4:33 am

On the other side. This sounds that after Years of Sobriety, "You have Conquered Alcohol" there fore Life is no longer a Problem. 2 Ways of looking at this.
Of course you could look at things at a different angle. Before Bill and Bob they pitch in the 24 hour plan they make sure alcoholics can never drink again safely. They suggest this idea of staying sober for 24 hours, hoping that the candidate will embrace the whole program and experience the 10th step promises and be encouraged to the program for life.

I (No 3) said, "Yes, Doc, I would like to quit, at least for five, six, or eight months, until I get things straightened up, and begin to get the respect of my wife and some other people back, and get my finances fixed up and so on." And they both laughed very heartily, and said, "Thats better than you've been doing, isn't it?" Which of course was true. They said, "We've got some bad news for you. It was bad news for us, and it will probably be bad news for you. Weather you quit six days, months, or years, if you go out and take a drink or two you'll end up in the hospital tied down, just like you have been in these past six months. You are an alcoholic." As far as I know that was the first time I had ever paid any attention to that word. I figured I was a drunk. And they said, " No, you have a disease, and it doesn't make any difference how long you do without it, after a drink or two you'll end up just like you are now." That certainly was real disheartening news, at the time.
The next question they asked was, "You can quit twenty-four hours, can't you?" I said, "Sure, yes, anybody can do that, for twenty-four hours." They said, "That's what we're talking about. Just twenty-four hours at a time." That sure did take a load off of my mind. Every time I'd start thinking about drinking, I would think of the long, dry years ahead without having a drink; but this idea of twenty-four hours, that it was up to me from then on, was a lot of help.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:00 am

They said, "We've got some bad news for you. It was bad news for us, and it will probably be bad news for you. Weather you quit six days, months, or years, if you go out and take a drink or two you'll end up in the hospital tied down, just like you have been in these past six months. You are an alcoholic."
And for Me (anyways) this is where the Program comes in. As I have typed, If there was No Alcohol, or a way that I couldn't/wouldn't drink, I would still be tied down or Dead in a very short time.

I believe that shortly after this quote, it goes on to say "But isn't there no Substitute?" "Yes there is a Substitute and vastly more than that." "It is the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous." The 11th Step (Into Action) describes Daily "Homework" (you can call it) titled "When we Retire at Night" and "On Awakening"

For the Newcomer, there is the problem, and there is the Simple Solution. It is the Complex Thinking Alcoholic's Mind, that takes it any further than that.

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Re: One day at a time

Post by avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:24 am

Let me quote the whole paragraph.
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.
Is there any reference to praying for sobriety here? There are specific things the authors asks is to pray for like direct our thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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PaigeB
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Re: One day at a time

Post by PaigeB » Fri Nov 01, 2019 10:56 am

I have over a decade and I practice my Steps daily. SOMEDAYS it does feel like crap and though I am not ready to go out and drink, sometimes I just want to wake up and start over. That whole "You can start your day over anytime" when I pray all day long? Seriously - sometimes stuff happens and it is REAL and it sucks. IF I am working a program of any kind on a daily basis then a drink might come to mind to be readily supplanted by thoughts of AA. But I worry that the woman with a decade or more. who is going through some real life crap, might think that there is a magical prayer and that maybe she didn't get the memo!

Crap happens. We have bad days. It has nothing to do with prayer so much as it has to do with working it though. A day or a month or an issue at a time. I want them to hang in there and remember that AA works, even if just for today, because tomorrow will be different - even if it isn't better.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Fri Nov 01, 2019 4:23 pm

avaneesh912 wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:24 am


Is there any reference to praying for sobriety here? There are specific things the authors asks is to pray for like direct our thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives.
Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use.
That is pretty much a Prayer, (of our own making). Then it continues with
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.
More Prayer
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing.

And more Prayer.

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Re: One day at a time

Post by D'oh » Fri Nov 01, 2019 4:26 pm

D'oh wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 4:23 pm
avaneesh912 wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:24 am


Is there any reference to praying for sobriety here? There are specific things the authors asks is to pray for like direct our thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives.
Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use.
That is pretty much a Prayer, (of our own making). Then it continues with
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.
More Prayer
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing.

And more Prayer.
It is not about Sobriety by Step 11, it is about "Life", a Promise from the 10th step.
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.

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