If i can't sit through more than 15 minutes of a meeting, it doesn't mean the meeting is broken; It means I want things to be the way I want them to be. It means I am being self centered.
If I start thinking that the readings that start meetings are the repetitions of a bunch of brain dead lemmings, see the above. Someone might be at their very first meeting ever and be hearing the readings for the first time and need to hear them and get something out of them.
If I am struggling with the concept of holding hands with a bunch of strangers and saying a prayer, I have missed a huge boat and a moment of power.
When I view attendees at a meeting as strangers, it is because I am being self centered. It is only, all about me, when I choose it be all about me. When I first came into the world, I didn't know anyone. Everyone was a stranger.
When I first came into AA, I wanted things to be the way I wanted them to be. That pattern of thinking and subsequent behavior had to be smashed. I could either join the world, or I could continue to shrink my world in order to have things be the way I them them to be until I wound up dead as a result of my self centeredness.
It didn't happen right away, because I an stubborn (I want things to be the way I want them to be), but I finally surrendered and joined the world. No regrets since. The world might be flawed, but it beats the hell out of Layne's world.
Last edited by Layne
on Tue Sep 04, 2018 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.