LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

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LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

Postby PaigeB » Wed May 02, 2018 12:20 pm

From Daily Reflections:

Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have –
the key to life and happiness for others.
With it you can avert death and misery for them.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

This is perhaps the most profound sentence for me... it is found in an odd place in the Big Book... I mean, I think it is odd that it is not in the Steps Portion of the Book. It is in The Family Afterward... obviously we will have some Practice with all 12 Steps at this point. But I found in through Daily Reflections, right after I did my first 5th Step at about 18 months sobriety. It gave me such humility and hope... I had found the Real reason for my Life.

I might share more later... What is your experience?
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

Postby PaigeB » Thu May 03, 2018 12:06 pm

What? No one likes this topic? :lol: :D :wink:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

Postby Brock » Thu May 03, 2018 12:50 pm

:lol: Good one!

I think it’s a good topic myself, just not sure what to write about it yet. The folks who start new topics here are pretty special I think, it’s what makes the forums tick, and it’s not that easy to come up with new things to discuss.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

Postby positrac » Fri May 04, 2018 2:32 am

Paige no one likes the heat from your topic...... :roll:

I'll give it a go: Past is dark and yet a reminder of the events that will be waiting for me if I lose track of those moments. My family is gone and so everyone else knows me sober and so practicing steps at times is and has been challenging as to keep myself in check mentally and verbally as amends aren't fun when I've hurt someone. My example in the light forward is that putting the plug in the jug is obtainable and my defects of character are more my dark past that I have to work on daily if I want this life, and gift I have been allowed to have for today.

Ok wakey wakey I'm done. :lol:
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
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Re: LIGHTING THE DARK PAST

Postby PaigeB » Fri May 04, 2018 1:03 pm

This is perhaps the most profound sentence for me... it is found in an odd place in the Big Book... I mean, I think it is odd that it is not in the Steps Portion of the Book. It is in The Family Afterward... obviously we will have some Practice with all 12 Steps at this point. But I found in through Daily Reflections, right after I did my first 5th Step at about 18 months sobriety. It gave me such humility and hope... I had found the Real reason for my Life.

I started us out with this above. Perhaps after my first 5th Step I was on a bit of a cloud. I had managed to get through the telling of ALL my dark past. And the woman who heard me tell it not only still loved me, she had told me she had done similar things! I was so stunned that I was not the evil pariah I had always thought, the one I spent my life hiding. The pit of shame in my gut finally saw Light. The pink cloud sailed on too soon & my dark past grew grim & dim again. I had to practice in the 10th Step with my sponsor - not always a fun thing.

But I forgot to put in another part of the reflection - the writer's words after the quote! Here's the whole thing:
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have – the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

No longer is my past an autobiography; it is a reference book to be taken down, opened and shared. Today as I report for duty, the most wonderful picture comes through. For, though this day be dark – as some days must be – the stars will shine even brighter later. My witness that they do shine will be called for in the very near future.
All my past will this day be a part of me, because it is the key, not the lock.

A reference book to be shared... The key, perhaps to the very life of someone still suffering.

I like to tell my stories, so here is one. I was on a 4 person panel of alcoholics serving with the Public Information Committee and we were speaking about AA to a class of Intensive Outpatient Treatment people. As usual, no one looked like they wanted to be there. I do not know I how I came to say it, but I said, "If it will save a life, I will tell my worst secret." And one of the gals in the class said, "Ok. Tell us". You could have heard a pin drop. Thank Goodness that my worst secret did not pop to mind, but it is still something I will not blare on the internet - or even a meeting! I explained that this kind of disclosure was part of a on-in-one 5th Step or a 12th Step, but I could tell her after the presentation. Still silence and stares... not even the moderator of the panel (a friend of mine!) interrupted. The bad act came to mind again. So - I blurted it out. You could feel the energy in the room change. I think my honesty & willingness hit home with them. Perhaps, like the Dr's Opinions says, they now know they can trust anything we say about ourselves. Perhaps. Thanks to the anonymity of this program, I may never know if I helped. They will likely forget my name and even the bad act - but I hope they remember that Alcoholics Anonymous is alive and well in the community... and that AA can be trusted to help with the dark secrets of the past.

Maybe, just maybe, my bad actions of the past can save a life today if I am called on to tell them.

Thanks for letting me share.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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