I'm back...

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I'm back...

Postby NewChapter » Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:36 pm

So I did so good.... didn't drink for a full week.... and that might not seem like a lot but to me it was everything... So proud of myself, felt good every morning I woke up defeating that beast but now am back in the hole after today... I tried soooo hard.... I feel so helpless... almost like I need someone to chat with so I don't fall off the wagon... wtf... this is ridiculous.... I am so sad.... Why can't I be normal and feel normal just being normal? I feelembarrest about going to groups incase i see someone that I know there. And even worst if I see someone that I work with.... any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: I'm back...

Postby Brock » Sun Sep 17, 2017 6:34 pm

Welcome back, and please don't feel like you failed, our big book goes to great lengths to tell us we will fail, because will power is not good enough to stop us picking up that first drink. And just like you did each day trying to fight the urge, what you called “defeating that beast.” But it's a powerful beast, thank heaven AA has 12 weapons, and usually by the time we hit him with #5, he is half dead and the fight gets easy, by #12 the beast is dead. Those weapons are actually called steps.

If we go to a meeting and see someone we know, they are there for the same reason, so it's really not a big deal. People respect the anonymity of each other in AA, you will do those steps and find a new life, millions have. Maybe in the meantime go to you tube and type in 'AA speakers,' you will see various names come up, some popular ones are Sandy B, or Bob D, my favorite is the firebrand Chris R. Have faith this program will work for you, maybe stay in touch here let us know how you are doing, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: I'm back...

Postby PaigeB » Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:30 pm

Why can't I be normal and feel normal just being normal?

Look for a meeting in a town close to you or in the next state Here: https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

If you see someone you know at the meeting it is likely because they need to be there too - you have something in common that you didn't know before!

Or try an online, live chat meeting here at e-aa (requires separate registration)
http://www.e-aa.org/chat/eaa_chat_schedule_full.php
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: I'm back...

Postby clouds » Tue Sep 19, 2017 4:28 am

Welcome back.

It isn't important about falling off, its just getting back to meetings and giving it another go that makes the difference.

Give it another go and another if need be. When the pain gets to much, its going to work.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: I'm back...

Postby Roberth » Tue Sep 19, 2017 11:46 am

NewChapter wrote:I tried soooo hard.... I feel so helpless... almost like I need someone to chat with so I don't fall off the wagon... wtf... this is ridiculous.... I am so sad.... Why can't I be normal and feel normal just being normal? I feelembarrest about going to groups incase i see someone that I know there. And even worst if I see someone that I work with.... any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Welcome back NewChapter, Congratz on your first week of sobriety. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. I don’t know about anyone else but I am grateful that I don’t feel normal. My normal when I got to AA was half a bubble off center. I had to learn a whole new normal and I wasn’t very comfortable doing that.
Luckily I found people in AA that knew and felt the way I was feeling that I could talk to. They taught me a set of principles for living a new way of life by taking me through the steps of AA.
I will tell you what they told me when I first came into the rooms and that is you will never have to take another drink if you don’t want to and even if you want to you won’t have to if you are will to do a few simple things. And for over 25 years that has been true for me.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: I'm back...

Postby streetrat » Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:41 pm

Hi this is streetrat.......I am newly sober (again)........after a 3 year period of 'research'.........I used to come here and there were chatrooms here to just sit and chat with people.........I really enjoyed those chat rooms.......where are they? :?: :?: :?: :?:
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Re: I'm back...

Postby Brock » Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:24 pm

Welcome back streetrat. Many of us, myself included, left AA to do more ‘research,’ which landed us on our behind. I am afraid live chat was closed in February of this year, it may be revived in future. In the meantime you are very welcome to post anything here.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: I'm back...

Postby Greywolf » Sun Jul 22, 2018 12:01 pm

NewChapter wrote:So I did so good.... didn't drink for a full week.... and that might not seem like a lot but to me it was everything... So proud of myself, felt good every morning I woke up defeating that beast but now am back in the hole after today... I tried soooo hard.... I feel so helpless... almost like I need someone to chat with so I don't fall off the wagon... wtf... this is ridiculous.... I am so sad.... Why can't I be normal and feel normal just being normal? I feel embarrest about going to groups in case i see someone that I know there. And even worst if I see someone that I work with.... any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Here's something that Bill said in his story referring to early sobriety,

"We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty."

This speaks to trying to do it alone.

That doesn't mean to eternally rely on the fellowship for your sobriety. The fellowship does help us get through the early days "under pressure and difficulty" and it is a ready source of people to chat with.

In my early days I hung out with people like myself -- fairly new to AA -- in my early sobriety. We shared everything from what we were doing to stay sober to what we did for laughs. 2 of us never drank after coming to AA. One of us had some trouble and one passed away with in 3 months. That was a fairly common breakdown of people who came to AA and gave it an honest try.

You ask, "Why can't I be normal and feel normal?" Here's an answer you are not going to like and won't want to hear: You are feeling exactly the way you are suppose to feel with 5 days worth of sobriety. Otherwise you would feel differently. And when you've been sober 5 weeks and then 5 months, it's the same thing: you feel exactly like you are suppose to feel at 5 weeks or 5 months.

What would alcoholics do after 5 days if the felt normal and felt like taking a drink? That's right. We would take one because it would be no big deal to suffer though 5 days if we could feel normal after 5 days being dry.
I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care.
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