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Scared and Confused

Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:03 am
by whozrdaddy
I have a drinking problem that is getting worse every day. I have lost just about everything and am at a low of sorts. I have stopped drinking but it has only been 48 hours. It has come to the point that I loathe myself. I need to do something and it has to be done now. I am not looking forward to the depression and anxiety that I know is coming. My entire life is built around people that drink heavily. I have to do it though. Have to break away.

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:16 am
by Robert R
Welcome to e AA, Your situation sounds very familiar to me. To change I had to get to meetings, listen for the solution, ask for help and go to any lengths to get and stay sober. What do you know with 100% effort driven by desperation it worked. Over 7 years sober now and living a happy and useful life. It is here for you too friend, dive in, the water is warm and friendly :D

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:34 am
by Brock
Welcome here, 48 hours is a good start, and you recognize the problem, we all had to start at a low point.

My life contained people who drank heavily as well, it was actually a lot easier to part company with most of them than I thought it might be, I found at times like this you find out who true friends are and who were just drinkers we hung around with.

I guess you expect we will speak about AA meetings and books, like Robert said that is what we found helped, not just helped but led to a complete release, keep in mind that this program leads to not thinking about alcohol at all, even at times of year like this, and doing so with a smile on your face.

Maybe you will give AA in your area a call, there is nothing to sign no commitment to make, come or go as you please. Try a meeting, it's just folks like yourself who found an answer and are happy to help others, wishing you the best in your efforts at sobriety.

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:36 am
by avaneesh912
I am not looking forward to the depression and anxiety that I know is coming.


That was my fear too. But the 12 steps of AA helped me have a different out look upon life. We will be able to meet calamity with serenity. Thats one of the promises I have understood to appreciate it. Life is not going to be rosy but today I have the tools to deal with it.

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 8:04 am
by whozrdaddy
Thank you all for the responses. It is nice to talk to someone that has similar issues.

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 1:27 am
by Niagara
Hi there,

I can certainly relate to that....that depression and anxiety that sets in when off the drink. That feeling of not being able to cope with life without the booze, nor, at the end with it.
My problem was I didn't know HOW to live sober. I found the answer to that in AA, by getting a sponsor and getting set to with the 12 step program AA offers. Life is far from endless depression and anxiety these days...hasn't been for quite some time for me. That's a new one! I'd been depressed/anxious all my life. I can still get shreds of it, but thanks to the steps I think much clearer and as a consequence these periods are short - lived.

A design for every day living.

Best wishes - I hope you find your answer here too :)

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 10:51 am
by PaigeB
Glad you found us! Keep coming back ~ no matter what. We have a solution you might be interested in!

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 11:56 am
by DrewA
I too, have in the past consistently been around alcohol all of my life. Family, friends, etc. everyone. I've recently completed my third treatment facility and I'm scared as hell too. But 48 hrs is great!!!! Give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up. Meetings, online or not, certain Apps, BB, and just picking up the phone have helped me tremendously. We're all here for you!

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 7:09 am
by whozrdaddy
Anxiety has lifted some. I am sure it will have its ups and downs. I am hopeful though and just wanted to say thank you again. I would like to have my meetings here if possible. My ex will crucify me with kids if she would to find out. Do you know how I go about that?

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:16 pm
by PaigeB
http://www.e-aa.org/chat/eaa_chat_schedule_full.php
Here is a link to the e-aa live chat meeting schedule - it requires a separate registration. Someone will be there at the meeting time to help you navigate.
We also have a variety of email meetings. Check out http://www.e-aa.org/maillist.html

Re: Scared and Confused

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:52 pm
by ezdzit247
whozrdaddy wrote:Anxiety has lifted some. I am sure it will have its ups and downs. I am hopeful though and just wanted to say thank you again. I would like to have my meetings here if possible. My ex will crucify me with kids if she would to find out. Do you know how I go about that?
Hi whozrdaddy and welcome. I was scared and confused when I first reached out for help, but I found hope when I went to my first AA meeting. Glad you've put the plug in the jug and are seeking help from other sober drunks to keep it there.

This website is a good place to hang out and read posts on different recovery topics but there are no real AA meetings on this website. There are real cyber AA meetings, about 5 or 6 per day at different times with about 50 to 80 members, on a website called Step Chat which also has a newcomers lounge/chat room which is open 24 hrs where you can ask questions and seek advice from different sober AA members from all over the world.

If you are not yet ready to go to a local AA meeting in your own area, I would suggest you call your local AA helpline and ask to speak to a sober AA member about your drinking problem and fears about people finding out you have a drinking problem. He will be able to direct you to "closed" AA meetings in your area which are not open to the public. Also, I would strongly suggest you talk with your attorney and get some legal advice about your ex's ability to "crucify" you for admitting or seeking help for your drinking problem. Court judges in the US send people with drinking problems to AA all the time, so I would seriously doubt any judge would be sympathetic to or be inclined to help your wife "crucify" you with your kids. If you are worried about your kids finding out you have a drinking problem, I don't know how old your kids are, but I knew my mom and dad had a drinking problem by the time I was 5 years old, long before they admitted this to themselves, because of the way their behavior and attitude changed when they drank. Chances are if your kids are at least 5 years old, they already know about your drinking problem and will be very relieved to find out their daddy is seeking help for his problem.

Keep coming back.....