Each day I have to be grateful

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johnd
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Each day I have to be grateful

Post by johnd » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:07 am

Hi everyone,
Just need to share this...
My heart is broken because I lost my sweet loving cousin who was 1 year younger than I .
We were close growing up... She was an only child and she loved being with all of us. my 4 siblings and me...

She had her struggles in life for sure. but the worst struggles she had as I had was with alcohol...

Alcohol worked it's magic for a time to help her relax and unwind much like the rest of us. She had a story that was so much like most of us.... She got sobriety for quite sometime. I went to a few meetings with her whenever I visited her in Cape Cod.... We would talk about how life has been since becoming sober... She really was full of life and ready for the next adventure.... Then a few short years ago her Mom got cancer and passed away Her mom was an inspiration for her cause she had been sober for about 43 years.... So she worked through that and stayed close with her Dad (My mother's brother) and more bad news had come to pass.. Her dad had been diagnosed with alzheimers disease. He had to be placed in a home care facility...... You can tell that she was devastated by all of this but, she would put on her "Brave Face" and carry on..... She had got together with an old boyfriend who now lives in South Carolina... She would visit him as often as she could, She had decided she wanted to move to S.C. ... She realized that her dad was going to be here without her and she wanted to bring him to S.C..... Problems arose when she arrived to the facility for custody of her father. The supervisor noted that she appeared to be intoxicated... She was apparently... She had started drinking again... She called my siblings and myself crying how they wouldn't let her take her father out of the facility... She was intoxicated each call... I tried to talk with her .. She wasn't having it.... That was about 3 months ago....

We got word 3 days ago from one of her mother's family members that she had passed away... Found in a room alone with alcohol and some prescription meds... She had been dead for quite a few days.
A life snuffed out. I am sad, not angry. There is no sense in being angry about it. It is the power of alcoholism. I watched my mom die from it. I have seen my friends and 2 of my girlfriends die from it..
It is an insidious disease. I share this to not only help me but just maybe help or comfort some one who may be struggling .....
It's not a news event it's a reality check.... I thank God I haven't found it necessary to pick up that first drink..... I am Grateful to the fellowship to allow me a place to come to no matter what condition I am in. Thanks for allowing me to share John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

Unicorn
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Unicorn » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:22 am

John, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear cousin. May she be resting in peace xxx.

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Brock
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Brock » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:39 am

My sympathies to you on your loss as well John, I am sure your well written documentation of her struggle will as you hoped help someone who is still struggling, it also serves to remind us all of the dangers of complacency, so for these reasons even in death with your assistance she has helped others.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Niagara
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Niagara » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:53 am

So sorry to hear this, and thank you for the reminder. I hope she is at peace now x
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

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avaneesh912
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by avaneesh912 » Sat Aug 01, 2015 9:23 am

I am sorry to hear that. Hope your cousin finds a solution atleast in her next birth (I strongly believe in re-incarnation theory). Only yesterday I and my wife were counting the deaths in our families before I entered AA and while being in AA. 4 People in all. We together know powerlessness and unmanageability real well. Peace.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Duke
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Duke » Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:07 pm

Thanks for your hopeful share John. I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there. I share your sense of gratitude.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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PaigeB
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by PaigeB » Sat Aug 01, 2015 2:03 pm

Thanks for your share John. I worry everyday about a close family member who has been in and out so many many times. I was sure this time she would die out there. Last night she was picked up on another probation violation. She is alive and in county jail... but not before they took her to the emergency room as her condition was quite severe, so severe that the boys in blue could not in good conscience take her straight to jail.

I am grateful today that she is safe. I am grateful for my sobriety and for yours John. I am very sad to hear that another among us has been taken by this insidious disease - it sucks. It is deadly. You sharing your story reminds me of that in no uncertain terms.

May you and your family find Peace.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Spirit Flower
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Spirit Flower » Sat Aug 01, 2015 2:21 pm

hugs john
...a score card reading zero...

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johnd
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by johnd » Sat Aug 01, 2015 5:35 pm

Thank you all,
Your messages of condolences are very comforting..
Nice to have friends who understand ...

John D. :)
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by 4thDimension » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:35 pm

My condolences John. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

At my home group, over the last ten years, I've seen too many people succumb to this disease. For me alcoholism always reminds me of being on a slippery roof. Right now I've got a grip, but I don't dare mess around or rest on my laurels, because once we start slipping down the roof it may not be possible to get another grip.

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Hanna
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by Hanna » Mon Aug 03, 2015 4:03 am

Thank you John for sharing this, my sincere condolences for the loss of your cousin. This was a post I will reflect on often. I was so afraid I was going to die the same way as you decribed the end of your cousins life. I have 3 years of sobriety, yet I still fear dying alone surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol. Each time I see a bottle of alcohol I see a lonely death, and I pray it stays that way, alcohol scares me and rightly so.
I will say a special prayer today for your cousin, may she be truly at peace now and forever, and may this story of her struggle help another alcoholic, it certainly helped this one today.
Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace

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clouds
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by clouds » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:13 am

Hanna wrote:Thank you John for sharing this, my sincere condolences for the loss of your cousin. This was a post I will reflect on often. I was so afraid I was going to die the same way as you decribed the end of your cousins life. I have 3 years of sobriety, yet I still fear dying alone surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol. Each time I see a bottle of alcohol I see a lonely death, and I pray it stays that way, alcohol scares me and rightly so.
I will say a special prayer today for your cousin, may she be truly at peace now and forever, and may this story of her struggle help another alcoholic, it certainly helped this one today.
Hanna
Thank you Hanna for sharing this hope of your sobriety.

I join Hanna also to pray for you John and your cousin.

I also feel sad John that our disease takes so many lives, especially a loved one such as yours.

I worry sometimes that these prescription drugs are not so good for us. My Dad said to me just a few months before his death that he was completely addicted to his medications. I wasn't told specifically how he died, but he left this world on his birthday, so I felt rally sad about that.

I admire your serenity John and what you said about having no anger. The AA program works.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.

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johnd
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Re: Each day I have to be grateful

Post by johnd » Fri Aug 14, 2015 4:46 am

Well,
I am going to a memorial service for my cousin today. I will remember the joy we all shared in this life and pray that she has peace. Thank You all again.
John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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