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Connecting to a HP

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 3:09 pm
by catcar
I am having a challenge feeling connected to a HP right now. I have tended in my past to put too much power in other people instead of God. I am having little feelings like that again lately. I am not in crisis mode or anything but I always love hearing how other people who struggled found that connection. It always inspires me and helps me re-connect. I would love to hear your stories! Thanks in advance!

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 4:57 pm
by Stepchild
Good to hear from you catcar.....Pretty simple for me. I found my connection with God by facing and ridding myself of what was blocking me from Him...The process of the first 9 steps. Daily practice of steps 10, 11 and 12 keep that connection growing. Spiritual progress...Not perfection is the goal. We do the best we can. I like this line from the book....

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
BB pg 83

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:24 pm
by Reborn
It says "Faith without works is dead" three times in the first 164 pages of the big book. That tells me I have to do something. I can pray for my electric bill to be paid but if I don't do something about I will be praying in the dark. Faith is about application. When I start to run the show and take my will back I am not applying faith. My point here is feeling connected to my higher power is all about prayer and action. So my question to you is if your connection is weak what are you doing about it? If you feel a distance between you and God who moved?

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:03 am
by avaneesh912
What is blocking us from GOD is our incessent thinking. Working the 12 steps and regular meditation helped me bring awareness into my life. Do I always stay connected no, but like Eckhart Tolle talks about in his book, its like the pendulum in a clock, you shift between consciousness and un-consciousness. As we grow, we stay more conscious.

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 5:49 am
by Duke
For me, consciousness of God, is unconsciousness of self or ego. The way I connect to that, is by acting on the principles I've learned here, particularly when I really, really, really, don't feel like it. Then, the connection becomes very clear.

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 6:44 am
by clouds
Hi Cat!

Or, read here a long wordy version of what Duke wrote:

I think its about willingness.

In Bill's story I read this:

"It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make a beginning."

For me just the idea thwt there was a power greater than me was quite something. I was raised in a home where we were pretty much self determinist existentialists. my parents were well educated and my dad a scientist; but even he conceded the universe was so amazing there must be a Divine Intelligence behind its creation. so although we were raised without religiois teaching, he thought there was a Creator of everything.

I think what happens is that to be even willing to believe, or seek a higher power, or at least stepdown from the podeum at the debating society, means that some degree of humility comes into us. Willingness to search for a higher power brought me a degree of humilty I hadnt had because I always felt this responsibilty for everything; myself, others, all of my surroundings, I was to create my own reality out of the elements of my life, etc. So this willingness to cencede that there was a power greater than myself, and find my own concept of it, was a real eye opener for me.

I had to get willing or die. So I got willing at my first AA meeting after they read 'How it Works' because it was at that meeting I understood it was the end of the lies and I already knew before I got to that meeting that I was truly powerless over my drink problem.

Even today I know that without willingness I am apt to feel like the one running the show. Even if its just in my head. In my case the state of 'playing god' is a state where only the worst type of things will proceed.

Catcar, I can i d with you about dependency on others. When I conceded that I cant run the show (I am unqualified to be able to do that on account of my alcoholism) then I pretty much have to be willing to let a higher power run things. If I start depending on others for running the show, maybe because I feel those around me look a lot more capable than me at doing that sort of thing, it causes a whole other set of problems.

The 12 and 12 has a good amount of advice about soul searchin ourselves on the subject of being dependent on those around us.
Theres something about it in step 4, around page 53 i think. It really helped me see myself differently and gave an answer to the problem of dependency on those around me who appear so much mor capable thqn I feel I am.
Pretty much as long as we try to depend on oirselves or on others, things get problematic. If I am willing to depend on a higher power, then i'm not depending on myself or others, and I get serenity and peace of mind in return for my willingness. I justgo ahead and do what it says in the Big Book after 'On awakening' and after "as we go through the day we pause..." where it says we say 'Thy will be done' several times a day. That is the medicine for danger, excitement, anxiety, worry, self pity and anger.

I have to keep being willing to be humble, even if it appeqrs to me that no higher power is looking after me very well.

Maybe it is like the modern saying I have heard of "fake it til you make it". but I dont think so. Its more like when my mom cooked liver and onions with mashed potatoes and I smelled it and announced I didnt like it and wasnt going to eat it and my father looked at me in a kind non chalant matter of fact way and said pleasantly " eat it anyway."

By listening and watching other members of AA in my early months I noticed that the members who kept coming back to meetings sober were ones that were attending regularly, they talked about the steps and worked them without arguing with it. My lack of confidence and shyness enabled me to observe not only what AA's said, but over time, how it worked, or didnt work for them. As I wasnt concerned about speaking at meetings, or about what I was going to say, I absorbed a lot.
The steps have a way of emptying out the ego so then peace of mind, healing, sobriety take its place.

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 7:09 am
by Barbara D.
I was athiest/agnostic when I got here and was only able to acknowledge that I needed a Power Greater Than Myself when I accepted my Home Group as my Higher Power..as in 10, 20. 50 sober alcoholics were stronger, wiser, had more experience than I did by myself. Over the years, internal layers of awareness emerged and I "feel" my own God presence in there somewhere, the gut rather than the head or heart, so to speak. Although my HP is not humanized or partial to human beings, It seems to work like all the other HPs.

My spiritual condition ebbs and flows daily, depending on how much I try to take charge. It's easy to just ride the tide when things are going my way. And then suddenly the expectations that I don't even know I have are disappointed one way or another, and my character defects swell up to rectify whatever situation needs fixing. I'd love to say that I always realize I'm getting off track immediately, but when all else fails, PAIN gets my attention and I begin digging around in my AA toolbox. Mostly, it doesn't take long for me to recognize powerlessness again and the fact that there is victory in surrender. If my spiritual disconnect persists, I take inventory, write, talk 1 on 1 or in groups. I have found that the Steps can be applied to any specific problem just as well as they apply to my alcoholism.

Thanks for the topic, Catcar! In fellowship, Barbara D alcoholic

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 7:40 am
by Chris S.
There was a guy in my original home group that put it perfectly, "Just do the work, and you'll be contacted later."

When I am lacking that "connection", I soon come to realize that I am just simply not "listening". It seems that I what I am doing in these times is asking God what his will is for me...and let Him know if it is okay with me. Sometimes my faith is weak, I delay doing things I know I should do, because I "fear" the outcome. I often forget, that if I take the right action, God will see to the outcome.

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:22 pm
by ezdzit247
Good topic.

I love this poem:
Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."


I had a framed copy of this poem hung in my kitchen by the phone for years but it still took me a long time to let go of my old ideas and come to understand that I am always connected to God, whether I "feel" that connection or not.

Keep coming back...

Re: Connecting to a HP

Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 6:00 pm
by Hopefull
It will come to you if you keep faith in the program.