FB Connections

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Spirit Flower
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Spirit Flower »

What ever I would like to say is against FB and not about anonymity.... ha!
...a score card reading zero...

Lali
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Lali »

Catcar, what has happened has happened. I would though unfriend these people you refer to. At least that will be helpful for the future. I do want to say then I was drinking I woke up with remorse and terror about my behavior in public or in the presence of my friends who drank heavily at times but who didn't act like me. So if I had to choose between drinking again and living in that hellhole of embarrasment caused myself I'd much rather have people know that I am seeking help. This disease is a life and death situation.

At least your sharing this here, could serve as a cautionary tale for others here in our online fellowship. Think about it, how did we catch up before the internet? We used the telephone to chat or we made arrangements by phone to "hang out".
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

catcar
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Re: FB Connections

Post by catcar »

"So if I had to choose between drinking again and living in that hellhole of embarrasment caused myself I'd much rather have people know that I am seeking help."

The above quote is very true for me. I don't really mind that people might wiser about the fact that I might be in AA. I think it keeps me honest.

I am not sure un-friending anyone would do anything because they have clearly already seen my friend connections of people THEY saw at meetings so there is nothing much to hide from them I guess.

Stepchild
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Stepchild »

catcar wrote:I have realized that people are seeing that I am in AA because of my FB connections. People who dabbled in AA had a random friend or two on FB in AA... now the link is pretty easy to connect me being in AA. Part of me thinks it is a blessing because the more people that know I am not drinking, the more people I have to be accountable to. The other part of me worries about the gossip factor that will be there when the friends go back out there and drink and don't care about keeping my secret from people that don't understand the program. I would love input!
Good to see you catcar...Tell you the truth...I'm more interested in how your stepwork is coming along? I don't use facebook much...A few friends and family...That's it. But I don't hide the fact that I'm in AA. The people that care about me...Already know it and are thrilled that I am. I don't really care what anybody else thinks or says about it. I kind of like what Dr. Bob said about it...

...[Dr. Bob] said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can't be reached by other drunks. - Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers, page 264

Keep moving forward catcar!!

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whipping post
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Re: FB Connections

Post by whipping post »

People gossiped about me for being a drunk so I would rather them gossip about me straightening up. . What is the difference between these people who dabbled in AA connecting dots through FB versus seeing you or your car at a meeting? We all take the risk that someone will attend a meeting or two and then "out" the members to the world. We can't control what other people do but if it bothers you just unfriend whoever you need/want to unfriend.


I reached out to a guy with sobriety through FB because he was the only person that I knew that had gotten sober and that was the only way I knew to contact him. He would only post very vague things like "7 years" with no explanation or reference to alcohol. At the time I did not know it was through AA. That sucker whisked me off to a week of meetings and here I am 6 months later reaping the benefits. So even though my motto is "facebook is the devil" there is some redeeming value in it. :D

catcar
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Re: FB Connections

Post by catcar »

Good to see you catcar...Tell you the truth...I'm more interested in how your stepwork is coming along? I don't use facebook much...A few friends and family...That's it. But I don't hide the fact that I'm in AA. The people that care about me...Already know it and are thrilled that I am. I don't really care what anybody else thinks or says about it. I kind of like what Dr. Bob said about it...

...[Dr. Bob] said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can't be reached by other drunks. - Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers, page 264

Keep moving forward catcar!![/quote]

I am a bit stuck with my step work. I am fighting with finishing 4th step and it is bringing me down. I do not know why I have such a big block with moving FW with it. I just feel stuck. Thanks all for you input on the other stuff

Lali
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Lali »

Catcar, I noticed that you have been stuck on step 4 for about 6 weeks now. It really shouldn't take that long. Some members arrange a date for sharing their 4th to sort of give themselves a push. You have read about step 4 in the big book haven't you?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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ann2
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Re: FB Connections

Post by ann2 »

I had a block with step 4 too. I stayed close to my group, asked questions, and prayed. Eventually a group member mentioned something that got me going.

Just try to sit with the paper 15 minutes a day. Then leave it till the next day. Believe me, it's worth the effort!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

rafa
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Re: FB Connections

Post by rafa »

I had a FB account, and finally shut it down. Not because AA friends, Too much time to keep it update.
What I do is keeping AA in one side and my personal life in other. It,s difficult sometimes, but it works for me.
My friends in AA are only those whom I work my program. Sponsor, sponsees and members of the consieus group for the services. Rest of my life I keep them apart.

Stepchild
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Stepchild »

catcar wrote: I am a bit stuck with my step work. I am fighting with finishing 4th step and it is bringing me down. I do not know why I have such a big block with moving FW with it. I just feel stuck. Thanks all for you input on the other stuff
I once heard something that made good sense to me....If you are struggling with a step...Go back and take a good look at the step before it. Is your work solid there? Are you working your fourth step with the help of a sponsor catcar?....Someone that has done these steps? That's important. I set an hour a day aside where I could have quiet and I wouldn't be interupted....And I prayed for willingness and honesty...And I wrote.....And I prayed.....It's a big part of step four. They mention in the directions for step four on page 68...

For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.

There must be something to that. Ask for help.

Lali
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Lali »

Catcar, there is a thread you started under the "The 12 Steps" forum, titled "Starting 4th Step" on December 15, 2014 where you asked for help on the 4th step. There were several good replies contained within that thread. Were you unable to find the answers you were looking for there? Maybe those replies did not answer a specific question you have with regard to step 4? If you have questions that you would like to ask confidentially, you can always send a PM to anyone here on the boards.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Chris S.
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Chris S. »

FB is a great pkace to discuss what movie you saw last night, how your favorite sports team is doing, or post up cute vids of your puppy...Fifth Step, eh, not so much.

Eliza
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Eliza »

Good to read about the experience strength and hope about FB. I have a ton of friends on FB and I access my account daily, usually twice a day as it becomes a place to look at private messages, many don't use email anymore. I don't feel as if FB will be a threat to my anonymity. I don't post anything about recovery on it and though some of my recovery people are on there, and they chose to post something about AA, then that is them and not me. In my profession, I need to protect my privacy so I am careful what I say. But my friends are my friends, some I had to ditch for a long time while I sobered up, and the ones that excused me for that period are truly friends as they understood I was very sick. But I am getting better one day at a time and I have a rich life with friends, work and meetings. I just moved to an area that is remote and now find new friends with a kindred spirit here, with a commonality like no other. And I am becoming used to my new Face to Face friends at my new meeting place. So, FB away but be careful what you say, and keep coming back. Take the steps because the elevator is broken.

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Tosh
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Re: FB Connections

Post by Tosh »

I'm friends with a good number of alkies in A.A. on facebook. I'm even facebook friends with a member from here. I think it's lovely when - given what I know about her background from this forum - she's posting video clips and photos of her extremely happy looking children. I mean, really, without A.A., that 'happy situation' wouldn't be happening.

But I'd never post anything about recovery on their walls, and neither do they on mine.

I think we just need to use some of that un-common sense when it comes to social media.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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positrac
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Re: FB Connections

Post by positrac »

Chris S. wrote:FB is a great pkace to discuss what movie you saw last night, how your favorite sports team is doing, or post up cute vids of your puppy...Fifth Step, eh, not so much.
:lol:
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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