ACTIVE ALCOHOLIC AT MEETINGS

[vermonter67]

My group is experiencing a drunk showing up at meetings. Last night (drunk as usual) he showed up and in the last burning desire minutes said he had just spent the previous night in jail with a BAC of .037!!!!!! It was obvious many in the group were turned off. Suggestions? Thoughts?

[avaneesh912]

It was obvious many in the group were turned off.

Why were they turned off? Unless he/she is misbehaving in the rooms, we need to be kind to that person.

[JohnZ]

A drunk at an AA meeting??? Say it isn't so!!

Seriously though, he's where he belongs. Let him hear the message. If I attended that meeting, I'd talk to him and see what I could do to help. Perfect 12th Step opportunity.

[becksdad]

Absolutely agree with the posts above! Any still suffering alcoholic is an open invitation for us to demonstrate kindness and compassion. So what if someone is still drinking? Have we forgotten what brought us here? Meeting a "wet" drunk is not just a 12th step opportunity in that particular meeting, but also an opportunity to follow up with the next day, when he/she may be somewhat sober and a little more capable of receiving a message of hope.

Of course, no one need be allowed to disrupt meetings, or be abusive, loud or profane. But a drunk in an AA meeting is someone seeking help. Just like us, and in the same state we were before we got here. It is for us to be available to help, if we can, when another alcoholic reaches out for help.

I do not think we get "good" in AA, we move towards being "well". "well" as in recovering from a disease. There is no moral or spiritual hilltop for us to stand on.

[vermonter67]

Thanks for 3 quick replies. I am rather new to AA. This is my 2nd time around. i pick up my 2 month chip tonite. I was rather surprised by the reaction of many in the group. I just thought about how every meeting we say "all that is required is a desire to quit drinking". Gotta admit the guy waited till the last couple of minutes of the meeting before he said anything.

[JohnZ]

Go shake his hand! Welcome him. One of the reasons I stuck with AA is that other members made me feel like a human being again.

[johnd]

Problem is they all forgot where they came from.... I used to see active drunks at meetings.. no one threw them out some of the members just try to get them some coffee or something to eat, and some would ask if they wanted help and would like to seek medical attention. Old Time 12 step work. The Pioneers saw opportunity.. Today"s A.A.'s probably see themselves and can't stand it... "The mirror always reflects the flaws" Just my thoughts Keep on going Vermonter67 don't let an opportunity pass you by.... John D.

[MitchellK]

Imagine, a wet one at an AA meeting.
Imagine, an actual 12 Step call working with a wet one.
Imagine, traveling more than 20 minutes to the closest meeting.
Imagine, someone not sugar coating recovery even if it offends someone or scares them off. (no one gets scared off - they were just looking for an excuse to,leave)

Imagine, when I went to my first AA meeting drunk out of my mind, I wonder where I would be today if instead of those wonderful men welcoming me, they threw me out because I was drunk? Thank God for REAL AA instead of Almost AA.

[Jaywalker Steve]

Go shake his hand! Welcome him. One of the reasons I stuck with AA is that other members made me feel like a human being again.

+1 billion! The only time we look down at an alcoholic is to offer a hand up.

[Sweeney]

Another post in agreement with others.

Hi I'm Sweeney and I'm an Alcoholic (I could have edited and put that at the top but I forgot and that's why it's where it is)

I went to one meeting drunk and that was almost one year ago, I went on the suggestion of my sponsor (I had recently asked a fellow to fill this role) I was still quite drunk that evening and I shared towards the end of the meeting. It was that night that I FULLY accepted step one (the only step that has to be practiced 100%) The last Monday in August was the day of my last drink, the night of my full acceptance and the start of a life in recovery.

Your man there might have had a similar experience. Shake his hand if you see him again. We all attend meetings for the same reason.

[PaigeB]

I can't, we can.

He had no clue what "we" means to us! Now it may mean something to him too. Give him a call, Bill W. would have!

[GaryD]

When Ebby came and helped Bill get sober, Bill was drinking openly while they talked (Big Book chapter 1). Ebby made no demands of Bill but simply offered Bill his experience, strength and hope then left. Bill recovered.

Please don't forget where we came from.

[Db1105]

"But for the Grace of God, there go I"