Based on my own experience... because in the early stages of getting sober I was so vulnerable it was in my best interest to NOT make any big changes in my life. Did I listen to the other ppl in AA when they were trying to tell me this? No, I did not and because I didnt... it affected me and I made some poor decisions.
All I needed to do was use a little common sense and take notice of one of the greatest slogans we see in AA meetings.... Keep it Simple!
However back in the early stages of sobriety, I wasn't capable of practicing either.
Today I know better and I dont need to specifically see something in 'writing' or in the literature to know whether or not its good or bad for me.
First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
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happycamper
- Forums Long Timer
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Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Faith without works is dead
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
We share our experience to benefit newcomers.
I believe you can locate that in black and white if you need to see it.
I believe you can locate that in black and white if you need to see it.
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
They are in the hearts and minds of sober alcoholics who have recovered from alcoholism and have the conviction that only comes with sober time and experience.Biker Bill wrote: It's a pretty trendy question. "Where are these suggestions we speak of?"
Just as was the case for years before the Big Book was first published.
Ian S
AKA Blue Moon
AKA Blue Moon
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Well I'm not sure if it is in the fourth edition (I've resisted that change) but in the third edition there is a line from one of the stories that says - "For the first time I sponsored a woman and I married her a year later". Why do I remember this so well? Because I got involved with my husband when he had 5 months and I had 9 months. At that time, the suggestion was to not get in a relationship for the first year and to not make any major changes in the first year. My husband later told me that when is sponsor told him that he said "not being in a relationship is a major change, which one of those do you want me to do?" In another week we will be married 23 years. Do I think the suggestion is a good one? Yes, those first two years were rough. Two people trying to get sober, trying to be in a relationship is major drama and we had plenty of it. I think the major reason we survived is orders given to both of us by his sponsor. We were not to go to the same meetings unless it was a speaker meeting. We were to have sponsors that didn't know each other. Basically we were to each have a safe place where we could dump our raw emotions, frustrations, etc. where we felt safe they would not get back to the other person. And the most important order which I think is the main reason this suggestion exists - If either one of us got drunk, the relationship was OVER. Anyone who has been in the program for any length of time has seen it - two people get together, one gets drunk, the other chases after them to bring them back, and they both end up drunk.
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
My name is bill and I am powerless over alcohol. My first sponsor asked me if I was going to "marry this girl" after I shared lunch with her. I was surprised that he even asked this question since I had just met her the week prior. His suggestion to me was to, "go out and have a good time." After 39 yrs. of continuous sobriety he knew that I would figure the answer to this question by trial and error. The outcome was predictable and I learned that WE are all different in our languages, mannerisms, tolerances and lengths of sobriety. Thanks for allowing me to share
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Welcome to both Bill & Allison... Thanks for our shares 
Tommy
Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!
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Biker Bill
- Forums Enthusiast
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Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Thanks again everyone for your experience, strength and hope!
I'm loving what you all had to say and share.
It ALL has really helped, thank you!!!
I'm loving what you all had to say and share.
It ALL has really helped, thank you!!!
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Hey Bill! Welcome back! Hope you stick around and share with us on some of the other threads, too!!
Re: First year around A.A. & Suggested for me not to do
Hi Bill,
My sponsor said to me that suggestions like the three mentioned are my choice and that the decision to put down the drink is making a massive change. I was to do what I felt was right for me, I'm almost 5 months in the programme now and I'm on the other side of the planet. I've moved a lot, I'm settled for now and working the programme. He also said that suggestions like the ones mentioned are not the programme but other people's experiences which some other people have since began to preach or teach as the programme.
Good to read your share and hope you have got some strength and hope from the posts.
My sponsor said to me that suggestions like the three mentioned are my choice and that the decision to put down the drink is making a massive change. I was to do what I felt was right for me, I'm almost 5 months in the programme now and I'm on the other side of the planet. I've moved a lot, I'm settled for now and working the programme. He also said that suggestions like the ones mentioned are not the programme but other people's experiences which some other people have since began to preach or teach as the programme.
Good to read your share and hope you have got some strength and hope from the posts.