Six n half Months sober

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Sweeney
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Six n half Months sober

Post by Sweeney »

New here but not new to AA,

Basically I've been in a relationship for six years and have been loved and supported throughout my drinking.Ssince my last drink I thought we were getting back to a healthy state but after an argument (not about drinking) I felt that I had to remove myself from the household so that the argument did not escalate further and so that I didn't pick up a drink. I know my pattern and so does my partner I might not have drunk that night but I would have had many resentments and by now would usually have been on a bender. We talked yesterday and it turns out that my sobriety can't be my number one concern. Our relationship should be and I can't have it that way I've never maintained sobriety that way and I want this so much.

She mentioned that this would be a good time for us to part ways and I didn't agree at first but after thinking it over I do believe that it is the right thing to do. Only she has changed her mind about that and today acted as though nothing had been said.

I guess I'm just hoping for some reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

today I am happy to be a recovering alcoholic.

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leejosepho
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Re: Six n half Months sober

Post by leejosepho »

Welcome to e-AA, Sweeney!
Sweeney wrote:... I felt that I had to remove myself from the household so that the argument did not escalate further and so that I didn't pick up a drink ... it turns out that my sobriety can't be my number one concern. Our relationship should be and I can't have it that way I've never maintained sobriety that way and I want this so much.
In my own case, I had to place *recovery* above everything (and even above sobriety, a manifestation of recovery) in order to learn how to be able to deal with my relationships with *all* other people in ways that would not result in my eventually drinking again. Being sober had removed only the problems caused by drinking, and my drinking was not what had always been taking me back to drinking again after being sober for a while.

I hope that makes some sense, and that is the experience shared from within "Alcoholics Anonymous", the book!
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================

Lali
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Re: Six n half Months sober

Post by Lali »

I have been taught and so has everyone else I know, that sobriety MUST come first, before family, job, friends, etc. because without sobriety, you will lose all of these things. And this has been proven true again and again...
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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