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BIGBADDAD
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Post by BIGBADDAD »

This is my 20th day with out 25 ounces of bourbon being poured down my throat. Highs and lows are scary but I have attended 21 meetings in my first 19 days.Getting my brain back, my life back and feeling love from my wife who has so much to give and I ignored it for 35 years because of drinking. Going to take her awhile. Went for a walk after an argument yesterday and she breathalized me. 0.o!!! proud of her for testing me and proud I didn't drink. Got a temp sponsor yesterday and love is slowly creeping back into my house and our lives. My tongue is sharp so I need to watch that. Just a hello from a fellow 61 y/o drunk!!

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avaneesh912
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Post by avaneesh912 »

Yes, i can relate to others not believing us. I dont blame them. We have broken the promises several times. If we read Bill Story, he did too! Identification is the key. I can also relate to tongue being sharp. Pause when agitated concept was so alien to me so were other principles. But working the steps definitely helped a lot. Great to have you on board.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Indianapolis
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Post by Indianapolis »

Honestly, I prefer when my wife breathalyzes me rather than when she asks "have you been drinking??". I find it less offensive and more conclusive to just blow and prove it.

Welcome. Sounds like our consumption habits were in the same vein, and I'm only a few months ahead of you on the process. Key for me has been PROVING to my wife that I'm different through ACTION, not more apologies. I reorganized the laundry, cleaned out the garage, and did some other household projects in those first few months, and she's bragged to her family about those benefits of me being sober.

Enjoy this! It's been a good process so far.

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PaigeB
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Post by PaigeB »

BIGBADDAD wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 5:49 am
This is my 20th day with out 25 ounces of bourbon being poured down my throat. Highs and lows are scary but I have attended 21 meetings in my first 19 days.Getting my brain back, my life back and feeling love from my wife who has so much to give and I ignored it for 35 years because of drinking. Going to take her awhile. Went for a walk after an argument yesterday and she breathalized me. 0.o!!! proud of her for testing me and proud I didn't drink. Got a temp sponsor yesterday and love is slowly creeping back into my house and our lives. My tongue is sharp so I need to watch that. Just a hello from a fellow 61 y/o drunk!!
Glad you found e-aa! I hope you can have a bit of the peace and serenity I have found in the AA program. My hubby never actually breathalized me, but I know that for YEARS he looked at me funny... I don't find it hard to imagine he was looking closely for signs of active drinking alcoholism.

Maybe a kiss in apology will soon replace the breathalizer!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Theo50
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Post by Theo50 »

Welcome BIGBADDAD, and congrats on the 1st 20 days!

MyNameIsBetsy
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Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

Big Bad,

Congrats on 20 days away from a drink! That's BIG STUFF for folks like us! And, welcome to this amazing fellowship.

I hung out here at e-AA when I got sober. This online AA group gave me a place to breath sober air during the evening hours, lots of folks with whom to chat and share sobriety. Hope you have the same positive experience!

Every single day of my sobriety teaches me that another sober day is possible. I know I can stay sober today because I stayed sober yesterday! I'll deal with tomorrow when it arrives.

Welcome! One day at a time!!!

Betsy
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

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positrac
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Post by positrac »

Welcome!!!
You know your story you posted is a reminder to all of us who have time sober that it is still the same on the outside if we decide to try our luck. But for you the overwhelming things that come with early sobriety are very real. Time can heal and also understanding of our destructive past as I want forgiveness now as it is not really that big of a deal..... Well that other person disagrees and I mean disagrees!

Take it in stride and life is hard enough and learning to deal with it on it's terms is challenging and yet not drinking is even more challenging.

One day at a time. =biggrin
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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Layne
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Post by Layne »

proud of her for testing me and proud I didn't drink
This speaks volumes for both you and you wife. Kudos to you both! And you are right that it takes a while. I didn't become a full blown alcoholic overnight and my recovery didn't happen overnight...go figure!. The good news is that I have the rest of my life to work on recovery and the blessings continue to pile up. I am far from perfect...but I am far from what I was. Glad you joined us and I look forward to hearing more shares from you.

JimBrzoza
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Post by JimBrzoza »

I just found this A A site and it sure reminds me of how desperate I felt when I attended my first A A meeting in the year 1975.
I sat in the meeting shaking and sweating severely.The only thought I had was DOES THIS AA WORK.
lt took a lot of hard knocks and remembering that the members said always to KEEP COMING BACK whether I was drunk or not drinking.
With the grace of God I am now over 39 years sober.
Trust your higher Power.
Clean your house.
Help others.

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Jojo2
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Post by Jojo2 »

JimBrzoza wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2020 9:43 am
I just found this A A site and it sure reminds me of how desperate I felt when I attended my first A A meeting in the year 1975.
I sat in the meeting shaking and sweating severely.The only thought I had was DOES THIS AA WORK.
lt took a lot of hard knocks and remembering that the members said always to KEEP COMING BACK whether I was drunk or not drinking.
With the grace of God I am now over 39 years sober.
Trust your higher Power.
Clean your house.
Help others.

Welcome to e-AA, Jim.

Glad you have joined us.

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: First post

Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

JimBrzoza wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2020 9:43 am
I just found this A A site and it sure reminds me of how desperate I felt when I attended my first A A meeting in the year 1975.
I sat in the meeting shaking and sweating severely.The only thought I had was DOES THIS AA WORK.
lt took a lot of hard knocks and remembering that the members said always to KEEP COMING BACK whether I was drunk or not drinking.
With the grace of God I am now over 39 years sober.
Trust your higher Power.
Clean your house.
Help others.
Welcome, Jim. Glad you are here!
Betsy
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

BIGBADDAD
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Re: First post

Post by BIGBADDAD »

Still here. Still sober. Still shaking. But life is better and my wife is slowly starting to believe this time is the real deal. Daily meetings but this damn 4th step is slowing me down. Not stopping or tempting me just the things that happened i dont want to relive. I will but not immediately.

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Layne
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Post by Layne »

Thanks for the update BIGBADDAD. Making an honest inventory is not always easy, but well worth the effort, as it can point us to things we can work on and change in order to reap rewards in the new and better life that we are building. The rewards far exceed the pain of the process. The rewards are continuing, the pain is momentary. Keep at it!

Indianapolis
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Post by Indianapolis »

Work the steps, but dont rush them man. It took me a few months to get ready to do my 4th step. Theres no merit badge for speeding through. Talk to your sponsor about where you and are what you're feeling.

Congrats! Keep going! It gets better.

tomsteve
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Re: First post

Post by tomsteve »

BIGBADDAD wrote:
Thu Feb 06, 2020 8:41 am
Daily meetings but this damn 4th step is slowing me down. Not stopping or tempting me just the things that happened i dont want to relive. I will but not immediately.
yer not a bad man gettin good.
yer a sick man gettin well.

theres nothin ya did that someone else hasnt done

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