Destroying my marriage

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Destroying my marriage

Postby victorprincess » Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:06 am

Please help. Alcohol is destroying my marriage. We both are alcoholics and need to stop drinking before it ends our marriage.
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Re: Destroying my marriage

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:31 am

Welcome to the forums. I have see lot of couples come in but struggle because one of them keeps going off the wagon. So want to suggest, embrace the 12 steps AA for your own self and fix your self first no matter what your spouse does or doesn't do.

Grab a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous when you visit a local AA meeting and in the mean time you can visit AA.org and start reading the book online.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Destroying my marriage

Postby Brock » Thu Nov 01, 2018 1:56 pm

I agree that whether the other person involved wants to or not, you should get sober for your own good. It’s harder doing it when someone close to you is still drinking, but it can be done. Of course sitting with them, and saying simply that we are going to loose this relationship if we carry on this way, if they care enough they will want to stop drinking as well, and both supporting each other would be very good.

It all sounds so hard at first, meetings and steps, and a boring life with no booze. But it turns out to be a first class way to live, the things we turned to alcohol for, like feeling anxious, or bored, too many worries just want to cool the mind etc, these are covered by doing the program of AA. We find a life without drink which turns out so comfortable, we laugh at the idea that we used to drink to feel good, we have other ways and tools to get a worry free serene feeling.

And the meetings are not something to fear, just some nice folks talking about the solution, come or go as we please nothing to commit to. I will put links to some literature, maybe have a read when you find time, and ask any question you want or make any comment here, we enjoy having new members, and they help us remember where we came from.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Destroying my marriage

Postby Chelle » Thu Nov 01, 2018 6:55 pm

Hello victorprincess. Thank you for reaching out, I am glad you are here. My then fiance, now husband, were where you are at now. We have beeen soberfor quite some time, so I can tell that it can be done together if you are both ready to finally be done drinking and are willing to do some simple things. I encourage you to go to some face to face meetings and keep posting here. If he is not willing, but you are ready to stop drinking for good, please give it a try and save yourself. Feel free to pm me,
Michelle
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