Welcome to e-AA Mary. I usually advise that using a sponsor is the easiest and least confusing way to go through the steps, while I didn't use one myself, I can appreciate that my journey would probably have been smoother if I had the right person guiding me.
There are a few of us here who didn't use a sponsor and see no need to be 'checking in' with anyone, judging from the first responses you got, we seem to have fallen out of grace to the point that new comers here are warned about us. But everyone is different, and perhaps some of us prefer to turn inward and upward for guidance from a power greater than human, (go to the throne before the phone).
At any rate a good guide to explain the steps is most valuable, and I wish you the best in finding one.
The seed has been planted in his mind. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered. B.B. P.113