Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:07 am

There's a man sitting at the bar. He is really drunk and pukes all over himself. Then the man is very distraught. The man next to him says, " hey man it's not the end of the world. Happens to everyone. " The drunk man says, " ugh!! My wife is going to kill me!!! This happens too often and she is really getting fed up ." The man next to him says, "I have an idea. Here is a five dollar bill. Put it in your shirt pocket. Tell your wife the guy you were sitting next to got really sick and threw up all over you. The man felt so bad that he gave you five bucks to have your shirt dry cleaned."

The next morning the drunk man was passed out on the floor of the living room. He was awakened by his angry wife yelling at him for his drunken state and she was about to kick him out of the house. "I told you if you came home again drunk enough to have puked all over yourself one more time you were out of here!!!!!!" The man said, "honey, wait!! I can explain!!! The man sitting next to me at the bar last night puked on me. He felt really bad so he gave me a five dollar bill to cover the dry cleaning bill!!" Then the wife said, "then why is there a ten dollar bill in your shirt pocket?!?!!" The man thought for a minute...."HE MESSED MY PANTS TOO!!!!"
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Brock » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:31 am

Since we are talking about bars this is an old one.

A blonde attends her first AA meeting, on the way home stops at the bar, orders a drink waits a minute then orders another. After about five drinks, the barman asks her why she pushed the first one she ordered to one side, and hadn’t drunk it yet, she says “they said it's the first one that gets you drunk.”

Sorry about the blonde reference, some I know are very smart, I once told this in an AA meeting and one got quite upset.
The seed has been planted in his mind. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered. B.B. P.113
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:33 am

Brock wrote:Since we are talking about bars this is an old one.

A blonde attends her first AA meeting, on the way home stops at the bar, orders a drink waits a minute then orders another. After about five drinks, the barman asks her why she pushed the first one she ordered to one side, and hadn’t drunk it yet, she says “they said it's the first one that gets you drunk.”

Sorry about the blonde reference, some I know are very smart, I once told this in an AA meeting and one got quite upset.


Brock that is hilarious! :lol:
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:35 am

Cristy99 wrote:HAHAHAHA John!!

That last bit brought one to mind.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face???"

Ha!!!!


Too funny Cristy! :lol:
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:41 am

Cristy99 wrote:There's a man sitting at the bar. He is really drunk and pukes all over himself. Then the man is very distraught. The man next to him says, " hey man it's not the end of the world. Happens to everyone. " The drunk man says, " ugh!! My wife is going to kill me!!! This happens too often and she is really getting fed up ." The man next to him says, "I have an idea. Here is a five dollar bill. Put it in your shirt pocket. Tell your wife the guy you were sitting next to got really sick and threw up all over you. The man felt so bad that he gave you five bucks to have your shirt dry cleaned."

The next morning the drunk man was passed out on the floor of the living room. He was awakened by his angry wife yelling at him for his drunken state and she was about to kick him out of the house. "I told you if you came home again drunk enough to have puked all over yourself one more time you were out of here!!!!!!" The man said, "honey, wait!! I can explain!!! The man sitting next to me at the bar last night puked on me. He felt really bad so he gave me a five dollar bill to cover the dry cleaning bill!!" Then the wife said, "then why is there a ten dollar bill in your shirt pocket?!?!!" The man thought for a minute...."HE MESSED MY PANTS TOO!!!!"


Cristy,

... >"... HE MESSED IN MY PANTS TOO!!!!"

ROTFLMPantsO!!! :lol:

Oh brother! I'll be telling that one today!
Last edited by JohnDaniels on Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:47 am

Brock wrote:

Sorry about the blonde reference, some I know are very smart, I once told this in an AA meeting and one got quite upset.


Brock that's a great one!!! I love blonde jokes!!! Grrrrr people are way too sensitive!!!

I was born a brunette. Ms. Clarol helps me maintain that image. Haha!! I refuse to grow old gracefully. BUT many who know me well call me a blonde all the time!!! Yes, I have a dingy streak a mile wide. I think it's funny, I crack me up. Blonde jokes are funny. Still laughing at the statement "some I know are very smart." :lol: :lol: :lol:


What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?????

The winner of Hide-and-Go-Seek!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:57 am

JOHNDANIELS

... >"MESSED IN MY PANTS TOO!!!!"


How embarrassing!!!! Hahaha!!!

Go tell that joke with pride!!! He he he!!
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:37 am

Cristy I was laughing at the part of your joke where you said
>" ... HE MESSED IN MY PANTS TOO."
Last edited by JohnDaniels on Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:40 am

Q - What did the 2 skeletons in the closet say to each other?

A - If either one of us had any guts we'd get the heck out of here.
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:15 pm

HA!!!
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:58 pm

Jack and John are at a bar slamming back the hooch.

Jack: "Hey buddy. Do you know Bill Doaks?"

John: "I might. What's his name?"

Jack: "What's whose name?"
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby JohnDaniels » Fri Sep 22, 2017 12:17 am

Jack and John are at the bar. "Hey Mr. Bar Tender please don't be so slow! Line 'em up wall to wall with John Daniels!"

Bar tender: "Don't you mean JACK Daniels?"

John: "No. When you've been friends with Jack as long as I have you can call him John"

After they slam about 16 or 18 double shots down John hauls off and smacks Jack in the face just for drill.

Jack: Hey what'd ya do that for?

John: Do what for?

Jack: Smack me in the face!

So John smacks Jack in the face.

Jack: Hey! What's a matter with you? What'd ya do that for?

John: Do what for?

Jack: Smack me in the face!

So John smacks Jack in the face.

Jack: Hey! What'd ya do that for?

John: Do what for?

Jack: Smack me in the face!

So John smacks Jack in the face.

Jack: Hey ...

John: SMACK!

Oh I guess ya had to be there. :lol:
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Re: Things That Want to Make You Yell out "WAA WAA WAA!"

Postby Cristy99 » Wed Sep 27, 2017 8:46 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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