falling off the wagon

For the younger AA generation, some experience, strength and hope.

falling off the wagon

Postby addictedto.youu » Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:01 pm

My boyfriend used me for sex then dumped me on Valentine's Day. I new it was wrong but I drank anyways. I feel so shitty. I know I have a problem but I don't know how to deal with my emotions without alcohol. how do I deal with this. anyone?
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Re: falling off the wagon

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:16 pm

The book says the root of all our problems is due to selfish self-centeredness. And the 12 steps helps us figure out where we are that. And we try to be self-less. The inventory process helps us see where we are selfish and self-centered. With that list, we work on overcoming our character defects.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: falling off the wagon

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:53 am

I will have arguments with my wife and to piss her off I will go get myself a 6 pack and a cigar. And that would set an another vicious cycle. Then will be in much more trouble. Only after coming to the fellowship, I started to look inside. Can't blame anybody else. I am the problem. So today its about being selfless. Show others who are willing to the right solution in the book.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: falling off the wagon

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:06 am

In the program we will have a different way of life. The only life you know at first is getting screwed and being dumped and drinking. People in the program will show you a new way. It probably will take actual people to help. I'd suggest calling the local AA Intergroup and telling them your situation. They can connect you with another female alcoholic. Often you can get a ride to a meeting.
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Re: falling off the wagon

Postby Noels » Thu Feb 16, 2017 9:46 am

Thanks Ava, Spirit :D

Hi Addicted to you, nice to hear from you again. Sorry about the circumstances. I remember the feeling of being used and then finding my escape in a bottle. The only problem for me was that although it made me feel better at that moment, by the next morning I would wake up feeling even worse - guilty because I drank so much AND I started arguments and said some terrible things to anyone I could get hold of via sms, ashamed because I couldn't remember exactly what I said but I knew it was bad and to top all of this I had a hangover, didn't sleep well as the bed was spinning the entire night and just felt nauseous and sick.

At that time I didn't realize that it was because I didn't know how to deal with my emotions so you already knowing that is huge! I used to just think "what the hell is wrong with me?" which didn't help either as the longer my drinking continued the less confidence I had in me and my abilities.

To cut a long story short, I learned how to deal with my emotions and living life at AA. THAT is what the 12 step program is about as well as the shares of their experiences by the alcoholics who is sober. From them sharing about situations in their life and how they dealt with it whilst sober I started trying those "solutions" and although life still presented me with difficulties I had the "tools" to deal with each situation WITHOUT hitting the bottle.

I still make bad decisions at times. I still feel confused, unappreciated and hurt at times but ive realized that all of this is part of living the human experience so its not a bad or a good thing. It simply is and since ive accepted this fact I can deal with these feelings better and I also experience them less often.

So the best advice I can give to you is to speak to an adult if you haven't spoken to mom about your drinking yet and to ask that person to help you by getting you to an AA meeting. Once at the AA meeting you can speak to the chairperson or someone who you think you'll feel comfortable with to discuss AA with you further.

You are precious, young and have your whole life ahead of you. Help us to help you.

Lotsa love and feel better k :)
mwah xxx Noels
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Re: falling off the wagon

Postby Layne » Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:03 pm

To cut a long story short, I learned how to deal with my emotions and living life at AA.

Pretty much ditto this. AA is about so much more than not drinking. Not drinking is just the tip of the iceberg. AA taught me how to coexist with my emotions, rather than running from them or letting them run the show. I am finally comfortable in my own skin and good with who I am today. What a concept!

When i first came into AA, I was told that I never have to feel like this again. It wasn't easy and it took some work, but how true it turned out to be. I wouldn't trade my today for anything.

Kudos for reaching out. I can relate to the hellacious place you are in at the moment, but it is always darkest before dawn and there is a solution to be found in AA.
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