Thanks Ava, Spirit
Hi Addicted to you, nice to hear from you again. Sorry about the circumstances. I remember the feeling of being used and then finding my escape in a bottle. The only problem for me was that although it made me feel better at that moment, by the next morning I would wake up feeling even worse - guilty because I drank so much AND I started arguments and said some terrible things to anyone I could get hold of via sms, ashamed because I couldn't remember exactly what I said but I knew it was bad and to top all of this I had a hangover, didn't sleep well as the bed was spinning the entire night and just felt nauseous and sick.
At that time I didn't realize that it was because I didn't know how to deal with my emotions so you already knowing that is huge! I used to just think "what the hell is wrong with me?" which didn't help either as the longer my drinking continued the less confidence I had in me and my abilities.
To cut a long story short, I learned how to deal with my emotions and living life at AA. THAT is what the 12 step program is about as well as the shares of their experiences by the alcoholics who is sober. From them sharing about situations in their life and how they dealt with it whilst sober I started trying those "solutions" and although life still presented me with difficulties I had the "tools" to deal with each situation WITHOUT hitting the bottle.
I still make bad decisions at times. I still feel confused, unappreciated and hurt at times but ive realized that all of this is part of living the human experience so its not a bad or a good thing. It simply is and since ive accepted this fact I can deal with these feelings better and I also experience them less often.
So the best advice I can give to you is to speak to an adult if you haven't spoken to mom about your drinking yet and to ask that person to help you by getting you to an AA meeting. Once at the AA meeting you can speak to the chairperson or someone who you think you'll feel comfortable with to discuss AA with you further.
You are precious, young and have your whole life ahead of you. Help us to help you.
Lotsa love and feel better k
mwah xxx Noels