My Mom & Alcohol.

Some alcoholics still have families when they get to AA. This is a place to ask questions and share experiences about relating to family members sober, especially when newly sober. (If you are not an alcoholic, please use the "Our Friends and Families" forum.)

My Mom & Alcohol.

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:32 am

Below is a story written by a young lady about her mother, which I saw on another alcohol related site. She wants to spread awareness about the disease of alcoholism, most of us here know only too well what can happen, but it is a well written reminder of the bullet we dodged.

MY MOM and ALCOHOL. - written by Sarah Christopher:
I have a story to share about my mother losing the battle against alcohol, here's how scary it can be... Alcohol makes you so alone.. so alone. My mother kicked us all out of her life, after a long battle against alcohol.
She died on July 4, 2014, in her home.
We didn't find her until August 15, 2014.
She kicked us out therefore the wellness checks were all knocks on the door, and no entry. It wasn't until we threatened to break into the house ourselves that they finally agreed to go in. My mother sat in that house for over a month. They couldn't identify the body. Alcohol destroyed her body. She died from a gastrointestinal hemorrhage. Basically, she bled to death because the alcohol destroyed her body. Mom died alone. It was painful. It was because of alcohol.
I have been following this page for awhile now and it's inspiration has given me courage to explain my story. If you want to share it, I give full permission - I would love to spread awareness.
I lost her when she was 48 to alcohol, but she died when she was 50. My mother completely changed when she started to drink. I had the best mom a kid could ever ask for: she taught me so much. She was so loving, she'd make me soup if I was a little sick and pick me up from school if I had cramps. She was so generous, when I was on the swim team she would help with snacks at the meets, where typically we raise money by selling snacks... instead she would buy a bunch of snacks, give them away for free, and then donate twice as much to the team from what the coach typically made. She loved to dance, my mother taught dance lessons when we was younger and a common thing we did together was dance contests. She was so funny, I picked up on her humor and sarcasm and I feel like she's a part of me because of it. But she loved alcohol.
My mother was a very depressed woman who lived alone and wanted nothing more than love. But she was incapable of loving someone else, because she didn't love herself. She constantly nagged and complained about her body, thought everyone hated her, and never had anything positive to say about herself even though she was such a great person. She just couldn't see it, and no one could convince her otherwise.
Her drinking habits became stronger when her father passed away. She went to many rehabs, spent a lot of time healing and was doing absolutely great for about six months. And then a tragedy happened and our very close family friend went missing and was found on the highway, run over by 4 cars and a Semi. This crashed my mother's hope and she lost it, and drank again. Her drinking got worse and worse. She started spending money she didn't have, began throwing her family out of her life, and would hide alcohol in the house so we wouldn't find it. One night I was packing to sleep over at a friend's house and my mother got very angry with me because I knew she was drunk. She kicked me out, took my car keys and threw me out the door into the rain. I had no work clothes, no car, not even a pair of shoes on my feet. I had to call the cops to get back inside, and packed up as much as I could as I received the meanest words and stares from my mother as the police held her back from coming at me. I never cried so hard. That's the last day I lived in the house I grew up in, I never wanted to go back and I knew she didn't want me back either.
But mom was doing a little better for awhile, she started looking better, she met a man that was taking great care of her. She would travel to Canada with him and do all sorts of fun and exciting things. It was going really well, she would email me constantly and I told her I was so proud of her and I loved her so much. Things seemed to be going back to normal.... but.. soon to find out, they would be getting much worse.
The last few weeks she began hiding alcohol from her boyfriend in Canada. She was bored, starting back on her depression, missed being home. Things were getting ugly, and before we knew it.. she was back.
I have gone through nightmares, dialing 911 on your own mother because she wants to die is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever experienced. Asking her to stay alive for her children, that we would get married some day and she could be a grandma, and how exciting that could be... and getting stone cold eyes in response. She cried so hard and would just want to die. She was put into the hospital countless times, her body was slowly dying and she wanted it to happen. My grandmother and I fought for so long, along with other family members helping, more rehabs, more hospital trips... it wasn't ending. I was tired. I had to sit by her side at a mental institution until 4 am because she was unable to say her own name. I had to answer questions about my mother that I had no clue about, and she was a brainless rock at that point, the alcohol making her sit there like a zombie. But I gave nothing but love to my mother. So much support and tears of love I have shed. But I was tired..
Eventually I had had enough. I told my mother if she ended up in the hospital one more time, that was it. I had to let go. It took one week, and I got a phone call that she was there again. This was shortly after she brought a man home from a bar to a 90 year old man's house she was living in. The man she brought home beat up the 90 year old man. He has fractures behind his eye in his skull and a brace around his neck. This man, 90 years old, all because my mom had to drink. He almost died. My mom almost got arrested. She was given a restraining order and moved into my grandmother's house, where things got even worse. She needed to go back to her house, but couldn't until the man that was renting it was moved out.
We created a tribute video, my brother and i. We recorded this video by her favorite things, her home, the beach, and dancing. The moment with the cards is the place where we found my mother. This was the way we grieved, and I couldn't be happier that my mother's demons are gone....
If anyone wants to know anything about my experience, please reach out. If I can help anyone, I'd love to help someone not experience this same tragedy I went through...
thank you ~~ Sarah Christopher
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: My Mom & Alcohol.

Postby Duke » Sat Sep 12, 2015 8:47 am

Thanks for sharing that Brock. It's a good reminder and frankly, brings back a lot of memories of my father I can't really afford to forget.

Together we can.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: My Mom & Alcohol.

Postby Hanna » Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:37 pm

Thank you for sharing Brock. It is a stark reminder of the dark days of alcoholism. I never want to forget, and that was the one concept I could never grasp "keep it green". I wanted to get as far away from those days as possibe. But now I see that remembering keeps me sober. My heart breaks for both mother and child, I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm sorry. I hope in telling her story she heals~
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
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