Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

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Maxdean73
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Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by Maxdean73 » Mon Sep 30, 2019 5:51 pm

Hanging on by my finger nails would describe my life. Work offshore for 3 weeks home for 3. Drink nothing offshore. Drink gets worse 3 weeks of. Have a wife and 7 ,8 year old daughters I love. Don't really love wife but love kids. Try to change but the borring family life is not for me. My upbringing was the same Dad an Mum hated each other. Dad emotionally abused me till I left home at 24. My question can people like me change?

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Brock
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Re: Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by Brock » Tue Oct 01, 2019 5:39 am

Hi there Maxdean, and thanks for the question.

I remember the times I worked offshore a good number of years ago. In those days it was two on two off, but life was the same for me, two weeks of drinking a lot when off, then two with no drink, no women, & hard work, but at least rigs tend to have good food and ice cream in abundance.

What AA does very well, is to help the drinker who simply can not stop on his own will power. If on your time off you drink for fun to kill the boredom, or make life with the wife more bearable that’s fine, you may not have a problem with the drink as such, but a problem handling life as it is presently. The program of AA only works if someone really wants to stop and finds they can’t, it also gives a new outlook on life, and we find ways to forgive those who may have screwed us up in the past, so in many ways it does change the person for the better.

I will put up some links to literature, the chapters in our main text help explain what we mean by being an alcoholic. There is a meeting finder, if you think you need AA go along to a meeting near you, nothing to fear, nothing to sign, no commitment, just some friendly folks drinking coffee and talking about booze. It’s best to try more than one meeting, since they vary and we feel more comfortable in some than in others, and make any comments or ask any other questions here if you want to, we enjoy helping if we can.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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avaneesh912
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Re: Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by avaneesh912 » Tue Oct 01, 2019 5:51 am

My question can people like me change?

Of course. I was edging toward the same. Fortunately I had that ah ah moment and sought help and my shrink guided me to attended AA and seek a spiritual solution. Didn't know much but I did take that piece of advice 13 years ago and life as is, is way better than what it used to be. Alcohol doesn't drive my life anymore. All because of the fellowship and mainly by the power I have tapped into working the 12 steps of AA.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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PaigeB
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Re: Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by PaigeB » Tue Oct 01, 2019 11:10 am

From APPENDIX ON SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.

Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous.

In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming "God-consciousness" followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.

Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the "educational variety" because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could hardly be accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."

Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual principles. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. WILLINGNESS, HONESTY AND OPEN MINDEDNESS ARE THE ESSENTIALS OF RECOVERY. BUT THESE ARE INDISPENSABLE.

~~~~~~~~~
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." --HERBERT SPENCER
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Spirit Flower
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Re: Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by Spirit Flower » Tue Oct 01, 2019 7:06 pm

Of course you can change. But it takes doing the work of the program.

I used to attend meetings south of Houston. Several of those guys worked offshore.
...a score card reading zero...

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alf
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Re: Hi. So 26 years in the waiting.

Post by alf » Wed Oct 09, 2019 6:02 pm

Yes.
We've seen lots of people change -including ourselves.
But it doesn't happen overnight. it takes time and work to become different, better, people.
Confronting our relationship with alcohol is an important part.

Take a look at what we call the big book. the second half of the book is filled with stories who changed their lives for the better. the first part of the book describes how.

keep in touch!

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