whining

Got an issue with someone or something? Want to whine a little? Here's the place to do it, or to get to know folks, or ask those questions that don't fit anywhere else.
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L_S
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whining

Post by L_S »

I'm alone.

I live in backwoods where there is only once a week AA meeting and I'm an addict, but not an alcoholic.

I attended a few online meetings, but because of things like my irregular shifts, I can only attend them a few times a week at best. I even miss them a lot of times.

I'm tired of communicating through typing. I am planning to attend my first f2f meeting this weekend, but I wonder if it's really worth the effort. It will be an overnight trip. I mean I think I understand the value of F2F meeting, but what will be 1 hour when I won't be able to attend for another 2 months?

What is HP trying to teach me? I can block out lonliness even without using. I just ignore any uncomfortable feelings, but that's not what s/he has in mind, is it?

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Blue Moon
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Post by Blue Moon »

Not sure what backwoods you're in, but there are many members of AA in the 4 corners of the world who cannot get to meetings. For them exist the "loners" resources, such as grapevine magazine, loners mailing lists, etc. Whether new fellowships can spring up in those areas depends on what other members are nearby. But if you're not alcoholic, the resource you'd need to seek out is whichever fellowship exists for your situation - NA, CA, MA, etc.
Ian S
AKA Blue Moon

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Holly96
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Post by Holly96 »

Hi L_S. My name is Holly,

there are a lot of people who can not attend regular meetings, and stay sober. I did it early in my sobriety, as I was an over the road truck driver.

As Blue said, there are resources available to you that can reallly help. The grapevine magazine is something I have subscribed to for years. Its a meeting in print every month, and you can also get archived stuff online.....from the early days of , till now. Its a great tool....

you can also look online for tapes to listen to.....I have seen tapes for NA (narcotics ananymous)........

When you go to your meeting.......tell people your situation.....get some phone numbers, and maybe you can find out about NA or such. Ask people, before or after the meeting about NA....etc

No matter where you live.......I know there are more meetings than one every couple months.....you may have to do a little footwork, or drive more.....
maybe try other cities or towns close...

glad your here, and good luck
Last edited by Holly96 on Tue Oct 02, 2007 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
don't leave before the miracle...you will be amazed.

Holly

Bill F
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Post by Bill F »

To reiterate - when you get to the F2F meeting, get some phone numbers. Evening talking on the phone to someone is sometimes better than just typing away. And, if you can call someone who is local - you might be able to arrange meetings outside of the scheduled one.

It only takes 2 alcoholics/adicts to have a meeting and the more people you can reach out to the more likely you will find the support you need.

Love and Peace,
Bill
Knowing you don't know is wholeness
Thinking you know is a disease.
Only by recognizing that you have an illness
can you move to seek a cure. - Lao-Tzu

L_S
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Post by L_S »

Thank you so much for all of your input..

It seems there is one male member who lives in a commutable distance. (It will still be once a month meeting and if he agrees to commute half our distance, it could be twice a month meeting.) On the bulletin I've read, however, he writes that he prefers to have a meeting with another male, not a female like myself. I'm not sure, either if it is really a good thing and I don't want to invite suspicion. I've heard a spouse of one addict getting suspicious and I can imagine there will be many other spouses like that. I don't know. Anyone can attend the meeting though I'm pretty sure no one else will.

I'm not sure if he's an oldtimer or not, but if he's new like myself, I wouldn't know how to fill in the conversation, either. I have to do some thinking..

Bill F
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Post by Bill F »

Please take note. When AA was first getting started, there were many individuals who got sober and worked the program using the big book and writing letters with their questions.

After all, it is you and your higher power that will get you sober. I recommend working on your recovery however you can with the means that you have at your disposal and don't worry about whether you are doing it "right" or not. After all, if you are staying sober and your life is getting better, then it is right for you.

One of the great phrases in AA is "This too shall pass". So just do what you can and be alert for opportunities to change. Who knows, maybe you will end up starting your own meeting!

Love and Peace,
Bill
Knowing you don't know is wholeness
Thinking you know is a disease.
Only by recognizing that you have an illness
can you move to seek a cure. - Lao-Tzu

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Blue Moon
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Post by Blue Moon »

L_S wrote: I'm not sure if he's an oldtimer or not, but if he's new like myself, I wouldn't know how to fill in the conversation, either. I have to do some thinking..
I feel that's a very valid concern. The premise of any AA group is "any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA group provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation".

It's been my experience that if I'm the only person in a meeting who's there for sobriety, the discussion tends to be very one-sided and dry up quickly. I find it less painful to share a little experience, then if it's apparent the other individual isn't interested in sobriety I simply sign their Court-slip so we can both go home early. I'm not in AA just to do an hour's work of unofficial probation officer to keep anyone out of jail.

You don't have to have f2f meetings to get or stay sober. That you want to find some but they're unavailable to you is very different from someone who's got them on the doorstep but just isn't willing to go to whatever lengths are necessary to recover. You could use other resources, such as subscribing to Share magazine (or the equivalent of whatever country you're in), recovery mailing lists, certainly online groups are readily available.
Ian S
AKA Blue Moon

howards
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whining

Post by howards »

Best wishes to you, whichever road you have to travel.
It was suggested to me in very early days not todo too much thinking, but take it one day at a time and talk to other people.
How you do it might be another matter.
I dont think it is a test, but I cant explain why some people have an "easier" path than others.
I wish you well.

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ann2
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Post by ann2 »

Hi L_S, just wanted to share as a female in an isolated location. Unlike you I did have a meeting to go to when I started living here, but as it was in another language there was a big gap. Oh and it was all male.

Although I do get tired of recovering via text, I am still grateful for the online community that has helped me so much during my time in limbo as it were. I subscribed to email meetings and frequented a chat room.

But like you I got sick of the isolation and when I complained to my chat room friends they suggested I join the A.A. correspondence service for loners. Have you tried contacting Narcotics Anonymous to find out if they have a special mailing list of people like you, geographically isolated or stuck at home due to disability? Give it a shot!

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
World Service Office in Los Angeles
PO Box 9999
Van Nuys, California 91409 USA
Telephone (818) 773-9999
Fax (818) 700-0700

Business hours are Monday through Friday, 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM local time.

It really helped being in touch with people in a similar situation, and gave me the strength to get through that period until things changed where I lived.

Is it worth it to go f2f? Yes, always. The trip is part of the recovery. The effort you make increases the reward. What else do you have to do with your time, feel sorry for yourself for being alone? :)

Keep reaching out to NA groups online. Yahoo groups gave me a listing of 113 that were N.A. related. Keep reading the literature, and increase your study of your spiritual life. Step 11 can keep you occupied for a long time, if you haven't devoted much time to the practice of meditation yet in your recovery.

Books have filled in a lot of the empty space for me, and I've been glad to get it from the source rather than hearing another version in meetings and thinking that's the way it's set out.

One of my spiritual advisors said to me, "Perhaps you are meant to be alone with your studies at this point." Acceptance of my condition has paradoxically given me many ways to interact with others, and understand the value of where I am.

Thanks for sharing!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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