Daily Picture January 8th

Got an issue with someone or something? Want to whine a little? Here's the place to do it, or to get to know folks, or ask those questions that don't fit anywhere else.
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Brock
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Daily Picture January 8th

Post by Brock »

Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. BB p. 96

The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation, and there can be no doubt in our minds what that advice is.12&12 p. 60

Advice & S*** 8th.jpg
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"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
Indianapolis
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Re: Daily Picture January 8th

Post by Indianapolis »

Advice is such a fascinating concept in AA. On the one hand, we're only there to offer our "experience strength and hope". On the other hand, there are plenty of quotes like this about "advice."

But on what topics am I qualified to offer "advice"? Very few, other than my path to not drinking today. I'm not a marriage counselor, or a parenting coordinator, or a financial consultant.

So I choose to offer advice only on not drinking -- and the advice is hit a meeting, don't drink today, work on some steps, and talk to another drunk.
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Brock
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Re: Daily Picture January 8th

Post by Brock »

I think that the subject of ‘advice’ is a sort of AA grey area, as said we are told our role is just to stick to suggestions on giving up drinking, but in my experience, we are often asked to do more than that. This is something you can see anytime you write to AA.org about a matter concerning your group, they have a sort of form letter which makes it plain they are only going to speak generally, they do not give direct advice. I had one fellow who gave very good advice concerning our intergroup, but he said something like he was going to break the rules and say what he thought we should do, (as opposed to the usual runaround about experience, shows X & Y).

I see nothing wrong with giving advice if as the photo suggests I have experience in the matter, the wisdom that comes with age can save some younger folks from pitfalls, but agree that when it comes to playing marriage or financial counselor, or doctor, these are areas we must leave to those trained in the field.
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DaveP1951
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Re: Daily Picture January 8th

Post by DaveP1951 »

How I loved to solve other people’s problems when I could not even solve my own. I may even have had the best of intentions when I tried to tell people what they should do. However, I now I realize that my giving someone advice may be taken as, and may well be without my realizing it, a sign of superiority. I came to realize that it is best to say “This is what I did” as opposed to “This is what you should Do.” I must remember that when people are struggling they need to supported and not solved.
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Layne
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Re: Daily Picture January 8th

Post by Layne »

I came to realize that it is best to say “This is what I did” as opposed to “This is what you should Do.”
That has been my experience as well.
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PaigeB
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Re: Daily Picture January 8th

Post by PaigeB »

Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. BB p. 96
What I did was... is usually the middle of the Story... What it was like, what happened & what it is like now... experience, strength & hope.

You know me - I have a story for everything! I used to think this was a curse, but I have been blessed with a paring down a bit and NOT having a story EVERY conversation. If asked for advice my mind can quickly jump to a story.

"One time I actually woke up in Burlington! But I didn't wake up knowing that! I woke up on the floor...
Of course the next day all my mind wanted was a drink... and of course I was fine that time so I kept drinking.
Now I can recognize the fear that made me take the first drink and I haven't woke up in a strange place since!"

That is not the kind of story I tell my granddaughter - YET. I change the words up but keep the focus on my fear, my bad behavior, me having less fear now and me changing my decisions.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB
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