Working for fellow AAs

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Akroyd
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Working for fellow AAs

Post by Akroyd » Mon Jan 27, 2020 9:07 am

So I run my own business these days, I’ll sometimes come straight from work still wearing my work clothes to a meeting.
I have often been asked to provide quotes to fellow AAs. Each time this has happened over the years it’s never worked out that I even get to look at the job for one reason or another. I’ve been asked again recently.
I feel uneasy about providing services to those in the rooms. AA is not a marketing tool to me. But if people know what I do and want to hire me is that so bad? It doesn’t break any traditions (that I can see).
The business man in my head is asking why I’m turning down business.
But this just doesn’t sit well with the “Mr AA” in me and I don’t know why. This is an outside issue surely? Then why do I feel so uneasy?

I know plenty of fellows who happily work for people in the rooms.
Any other business owners got some experience they could share?

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PaigeB
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by PaigeB » Mon Jan 27, 2020 12:39 pm

Akroyd wrote:
Mon Jan 27, 2020 9:07 am
I have often been asked to provide quotes to fellow AAs. Each time this has happened over the years it’s never worked out that I even get to look at the job for one reason or another. I’ve been asked again recently.
I feel uneasy about providing services to those in the rooms.
I know plenty of fellows who happily work for people in the rooms.
Any other business owners got some experience they could share?
In all our affairs... In between the prayers, I am at my highest level of sobriety and serenity. Outside the rooms, not so much every minute. After the closing prayer, some folks run for the door but I start acting the part of Ms. AA... happy sober, happy family, it all good yada yada. However - like most AAer's By the time I get to the next morning I am singing a whole different tune ~ I'm too busy, too tired, not enough coffee in me & the list goes on. I might not even answer the hotline calling if I deem it has interrupted some important thing.

I have had opportunities to get business for the group I worked for and I think that the AA person who hired us came with some expectations of success and of at least a certain "fellowship" which tends to be impossible to hold and maintain for all of the working together time. I was a jerk at work. In fact, I actually got fired from that job for somewhat unrelated reasons when I had about 18 months sober. It is difficult to practice the AA principles "in all our affairs" aka out in the real world, but especially in our work and family life.These Steps and principles take a lot of practice. We practice these principle during the meetings and during AA service work and work we do in our communities "for free and for fun". After an informal weekend Roundup or a Service Convention, we tend to be drained and exhausted. My home group meets on Mondays which means I get to see AA again within 24 hours and it is difficult to make myself go sometimes. I may try to claim Pink Cloud to stay home, but it is really I am just full of AA. Luckily, I am not alone... I have heard from many that they find home and work and large chunks of anything, spiritually difficult after even many years of practice.

This pamphlet is about the AA contributions basket but has a title that keeps catching my memory. I haven't read it in years (maybe it is time again). Self-Support: Where Money and Spirituality Mix https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-lite ... uality-mix
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

tomsteve
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by tomsteve » Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:12 pm

Akroyd wrote:
Mon Jan 27, 2020 9:07 am

But this just doesn’t sit well with the “Mr AA” in me and I don’t know why. This is an outside issue surely? Then why do I feel so uneasy?

i dont see why business would be anything other than an outside issue.
could feel uneasy because of expectations maybe?
you mentioned the "Mr AA" in ya. maybe time to change from Mr AA to just Akroyd.

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Brock
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by Brock » Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:54 pm

I feel uneasy about providing services to those in the rooms. AA is not a marketing tool to me. But if people know what I do and want to hire me is that so bad? It doesn’t break any traditions (that I can see).
I am pretty sure this is above board, and there is no 'AA reason' not to work for other members. I had a small maintenance contracting company, we pretty much did anything from painting to roofing, and I also felt uneasy working for AA’s. Just like I felt working for family members, always the nagging feeling that they may be expecting a favor on the price, or that I would throw in extras if they asked. It’s easy to tell someone you don’t know that that’s the contracted price and any extras will be charged for, but those close to us, it’s even possible they may tell others equally close, if they feel we have ‘screwed’ them.

At a meeting recently, someone complained about buying a not so fresh fish from someone he expected better of, and there is one member who happens to sell fish. I was very disappointed with them for speaking about that, but it demonstrates how people close to us seem to set the bar extra high when judging our work performance.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by MyNameIsBetsy » Mon Jan 27, 2020 8:32 pm

Any other business owners got some experience they could share?
I ran an income tax business for many years. As a matter of policy, I refused work from AA members in my meetings. If someone approached me before or after the meeting, I would answer basic questions, but then offer to refer them to another experienced tax person outside of AA.

If in the course of working with a client (not from my normal meetings) we discover that we have a common AA bond, I would acknowledge the bond and keep on working with them. It was only the AAers in my meetings I would turn down.

I had this policy because of the financial aspect of taxes. Early on in sobriety, I offered to do my first sponsor's taxes as a way of paying her back for all her help. She was years in arrears, and I saw a side of her that she did not reveal in her shares. Needless to say, our sponsor/sponsee relationship deteriorated and I found another sponsor. I never again offered to do a sponsor's taxes!!

Just me, but I do not want to sit in meetings and hear shares from AAers who I have an intimate knowledge of their finances/income/investments/taxes. I don't want to be in the position of knowing more about their situation than what they are willing to share. I don't want to face the potential of an AA client not paying my fee, or complaining about my work. And, I certainly do not want to know if they are fabricating financial situations for some unhealthy reason. Leave me out of this!!!!! My serenity is more important!! Hence the policy that I do not work for people in my AA groups.

- Betsy
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

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positrac
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by positrac » Wed Jan 29, 2020 10:10 am

I called a fellow about my roof and it was a guy from AA. I knew his face and I thought he had some ethics and a good path in sobriety. I turned down his offer and my brother in -law was over and he is a skilled builder and he fixed the issue with my flashing. I didn't need a new roof!!!!!

I also had a guy come over and spread my pile of asphalt millings and he is also in AA. He is and has had a strong presence in AA and the community and he provided a sound quote and awesome finishing of the job. I paid him cash as to keep it in the black and less work for him.

I believe that people hope to get this incredible deal because we are in the rooms and we forget that we all have to eat!

Maybe change your shirt and leave your professional side at the door and leave the AA side in AA where it belongs. Resentments can build over people, places and things and it is not worth the space upstairs.

like doing business with family and it will not be as one thought all the time and that sux!
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

Akroyd
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Re: Working for fellow AAs

Post by Akroyd » Sat Feb 01, 2020 2:11 pm

Thanks for the replies, gave me some things to consider and I’ve made a decision. Glad I’m not the only one who has come across this train of thought. Hopefully this could be useful to someone else as well.

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