New Person Comes in Drunk

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michmjon
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New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by michmjon » Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:45 am

Yesterday I attended a meeting with my usual group- a small group that meets mornings at 9 AM. Very rarely to we get any newcomers, it's usually just the core members along with a few others from other groups coming in. I took my seat and a younger fellow, probably in his late 20's came through the door looking very nervous and took a seat between me and another gentleman. Immediately I smelled alcohol on his breath. So did the other gentleman. The new guy wasn't staggering, fall down drunk- he wasn't even slurring his speech or anything but it was very obvious that he had probably took a swig while sitting in his car in the parking lot. The other gentleman put his hand on the newcomer's shoulder and said "You better leave. You've clearly been drinking- I can smell it on your breath. Come back when you sober up." The younger guy stood up, said "You know what? F**k this!" and stormed out the door.

I didn't say a thing and just sat quietly for the rest of the meeting. I question if what was said to this guy was the right thing to do. Better would have been to let him stay, give our stories and let him have his say. This bugged me all day yesterday- maybe I should have said something. Opinions?

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avaneesh912
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by avaneesh912 » Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:50 am

Sad man. As long as they don't disrupt they should be allowed to stay in the rooms. Bill was drinking when Ebby 12 stepped him. Ebby didn't say I will come back after you sober up. Silly.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Spirit Flower
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Spirit Flower » Fri Jan 06, 2017 8:25 am

That is bad. We let drunks stay unless they are disruptive; then a couple of guys/gals take the person to another room to talk separate.
...a score card reading zero...

Noels

Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Noels » Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:02 am

Hi Mitch :D so glad you went back. Oh man, that old man interfered with another soul's path. Has he forgotten how difficult it is for an alcoholic to walk into a meeting the first time? Sounds to me like youre in the right place my friend. I believe there is no co-incidence. With the new year and all who knows who / what / when will be used to effect change which this group seems to desperately need. Perhaps you should make GSO aware of what is going on. When our behavior as alcoholics who have found the solution and are walking the path of sobriety start to harm or push away the still suffering alcoholic we have lost our path as suggested by AA and are not only harming AA but also that still suffering man/woman.
I pray something like that never ever happens to any still suffering alcoholic ever again but if it does in your presence follow your heart and speak up if that's what you feel you should do.

Love and Light
Noels xxx

ODAAT
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by ODAAT » Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:47 am

I am unaware of any rule of principle in AA that prohibits a person from attending a meeting in the circumstances described.

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Duke
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Duke » Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:18 am

That's just awful, michmjon. It's a lesson for you to take forward in your own program. I know you'll use it to help someone someday.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by tomsteve » Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:28 am

just my opinion, but the man that said that should keep his mouth shut until he knows how to be of service to the next suffering alcoholic.
I'd rather see someone comin off a drunk( maybe im unique, but id reak of alcohol after a night of heavy drinking) at a meeting then on the streets.
think I might even approach the man and ask his wth makes him think he has the right to tell a newcomer to leave.
could you imagine where we'd be if the founding members of AA did that?
a great friend of mine got sober in downtown Detroit-cass corridor. him and his sponsor would be the only two people sober at the meetings quite often.

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Blue Moon
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Blue Moon » Fri Jan 06, 2017 7:55 pm

michmjon wrote:Opinions?
What does the group say? Each group is autonomous, so each gets to decide how it will or won't function.

In the formative years of AA, you would get nowhere near the door of an AA meeting until after you had taken at least the first 3 Steps (their equivalent - before the 12 were put to paper). Then if you drank again, you were out until you wanted to recover and were willing to do what it takes. There was no such thing as a "drinking AA member", nor "open meetings" etc.

However ... you were also actively 12th-Stepped and sponsored before ever getting to the meetings, so were afforded every chance to recover. The meetings were just a place to talk about how best to help the next newcomer in a locked ward, jail cell, etc. So it made no sense for a drinking alcoholic to be in one.

Therefore to expect someone to find their own way to an AA meeting, only to then be told they have to sober up before getting to the AA meeting, is downright illogical. It's only workable if the group is extremely proactive about that 12th Step activity in hospitals, jails, bars, the most sordid spot in town.
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AKA Blue Moon

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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by D'oh » Sat Jan 07, 2017 7:30 am

At least, they "Showed Up"

That is part of Carrying the Message. "For the Grace of a Higher Power, there go I"

Tradition 3 doesn't say anything about an "Honest Desire" just a "Desire" the person is in the right place as long as they are not Violent or in any Danger, show them by example "A Better Way"

Noels

Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Noels » Sat Jan 07, 2017 8:19 am

It's only workable if the group is extremely proactive about that 12th Step activity in hospitals, jails, bars, the most sordid spot in town.
:D somehow i don't think this particular group falls in that category. As ridiculous as it can be to possibly even think it - this group seem to look down on the alcoholic? Ouch :(

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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Lali » Sat Jan 07, 2017 5:16 pm

I'm wondering, michmjon, was the guy that booted the other guy out new? Maybe he didn't know any better. But then he should have asked the opinion of someone who was not new. Was anyone else in the room aware of what happened. Someone should have taken the guy outside or into another room and talked to him about the program. (This has already been said here). He should have then welcomed the guy back into the meeting instructing him that it would be best if he listen to the others share.

Such as shame. I hope the guy comes back.

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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by tomsteve » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:52 am

D'oh wrote:
Tradition 3 doesn't say anything about an "Honest Desire" just a "Desire" the person is in the right place as long as they are not Violent or in any Danger, show them by example "A Better Way"
from what I understand, trad 3 originally was an "honest" desire, but them alkies back then realized there weren't too many alkies that knew what honesty was, so removed the word.

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positrac
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by positrac » Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:05 am

I've seen a few staging drunks attend meetings and as long as they didn't disrupt they were welcome. Closed meetings might have been a stretch on attendance and those folks knew the open and closed meetings anyways. I've been to meetings around the world and again normally people just roll with the flow.

Never really know the history of that guy who came in drunk the other day.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

Lali
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by Lali » Mon Jan 09, 2017 12:30 pm

positrac wrote:Never really know the history of that guy who came in drunk the other day.
Does it matter?

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positrac
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Re: New Person Comes in Drunk

Post by positrac » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:34 am

:lol:
Last edited by positrac on Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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