Please help!

Got an issue with someone or something? Want to whine a little? Here's the place to do it, or to get to know folks, or ask those questions that don't fit anywhere else.
Troy M.
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Re: Please help!

Post by Troy M. » Sat Jun 25, 2016 5:00 am

Laura, it can get better. It took me several months of attending meetings regularly to start to trust people enough to start opening up. The guy who sponsors me is 10 or 12 years younger than me, but he has nearly 15 years of sobriety and is all in on the 12 steps. He has been patient as I've worked through the 12 steps and never pushed me unless I was holding back.

The only thing that has helped me break past the resentments was to study and work the steps. At the very beginning of my journey I too was worried about seeing people that I knew in other contexts at the meetings and was afraid of what they would think or say. I eventually realized that the only life I had any control over is my own and that I can't help what other's think other than trust that the 3rd step prayer will show what my HP is doing in my life and they can be encouraged. I now regularly see the mother of one of my students at meetings and we have great conversations about life and sobriety, both at meetings and at other venues out in life. I also have several former students that I see occasionally at meetings and I know that they encourage me with their willingness to be in the program.

It took a while to deal with my perceived shame at being an alcoholic. But my HP is transforming my life into something much better than a shaky, fearful drunk. Your's can as well. Keep reading, keep coming back here and trust your HP. We're here for you.

Noels

Re: Please help!

Post by Noels » Sat Jun 25, 2016 6:09 am

So true. If there are people you know at meetings they are probably there because they themselves are alcoholics. Just normal people like you and me trying to stay sober so you need not worry about that at all.

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avaneesh912
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Re: Please help!

Post by avaneesh912 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:22 am

I am very sick. I deliberately create hurdles to make it harder to get sober. I am really sick!
But there is a solution. As the book states:

Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at out feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.


The above is a powerful part of the book, where they don't mince words. They give a solution which came out of experience. Bill W, Dr. Bob all experienced this and put together the book. The book talks about an improved relationship with fellow human beings and GOD once we complete this process.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Feeya
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Re: Please help!

Post by Feeya » Sat Jun 25, 2016 9:57 am

Hi SML, my name is Feeya and I am an alcoholic!
Welcome to e-AA and congratulations on reaching out!
I have a lot of resentment towards people too, but I have realised that to me, a lot of those resentments are just excuses to get drunk...
I don't like working for my sobriety, I would much rather find a simple and effective solution, a 'right away'solution to all of my problems without being confronted with them.
What I know is, that if I don't work for my sobriety I will not get sober... and AA is a program where I can start working for my sobriety, surrounded by people who are willing to guide me along.
You are not alone!

I wish you the best of luck!
One day at a time.

SMLneedshelp
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Re: Please help!

Post by SMLneedshelp » Sat Jun 25, 2016 4:01 pm

Thank you all. I stayed sober yesterday. I am sober today. I am doing the next indicated thing. You have no idea how much you've helped me.

I spoke to a woman from AA on the phone for several hours today. That helped too.

Thank you.

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ezdzit247
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Re: Please help!

Post by ezdzit247 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 5:40 pm

SMLneedshelp wrote:Thank you all. I stayed sober yesterday. I am sober today. I am doing the next indicated thing. You have no idea how much you've helped me.

I spoke to a woman from AA on the phone for several hours today. That helped too.

Thank you.
Outstanding! You probably have no idea how much you have helped all of us here at e-aa. I identified with so much of what you shared, especially the trouble your "evil twin" gets into during blackouts. That helped me remember my "evil twin" and that I'm still only one drink away from a drunk. Thanks!
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Feeya
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Re: Please help!

Post by Feeya » Sat Jun 25, 2016 10:41 pm

SMLneedshelp wrote:Thank you all. I stayed sober yesterday. I am sober today. I am doing the next indicated thing. You have no idea how much you've helped me.

I spoke to a woman from AA on the phone for several hours today. That helped too.

Thank you.
Congrats! Now remember: One day at a time! :)
And keep coming back!
One day at a time.

Reborn
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Re: Please help!

Post by Reborn » Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:47 am

I would suggest getting a Big Book and reading at least up to page 103. This is the program of AA..it tells us about the problem...the solution...and a practical program of action to get to that solution. The first thing I did when I was new was read that book. It gave me the information I needed to pick a good sponsor. I got a little bit of knowledge about this program and looked for someone who actually knew the book. Because I took a little action early on I was able to find a great sponsor and get to work on the steps right away. The key to this program is willingness followed by action...It sounds like you have the gift of desperation...I truly hope you use it and find the freedom that I get to enjoy today :D
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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