Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

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emeraldg
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Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

Post by emeraldg » Tue May 31, 2016 9:22 am

Hello,

I am hopeful that I am posting in the right spot. A non alcoholic friend of mine and I were talking the other day. She recently recovered from a life threatening illness.

Since that time, she told me she is now an athiest, that AA is a cult, that organized thought is terrible, and that she avoids anyone with any "negativity or drama whatsoever" and is at a point where she will cut anyone who displays what she perceives as any such behavior right out of her life. She said "I have no time for people who are negative. Life is too short. If someone isn't adding what I need to my life, they are subtracting and I cut them off". She has also become a very sarcastic person...it seems that she will insult others and then hide it behind a joke...and if the person doesn't understand or appreciate the joke, it becomes THEIR problem for having no sense of humour.

I did not respond. I did not know what to say. I find this thought process to be exactly what she is claiming to be avoiding....very negative, selfish, cynical and unhappy.

Am I reading that wrong? What do you all think of what she is saying or where she is coming from?

How can I be helpful to her, if at all?
Thank you SO much.

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Tosh
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Re: Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

Post by Tosh » Tue May 31, 2016 2:05 pm

emeraldg wrote:I find this thought process to be exactly what she is claiming to be avoiding....very negative, selfish, cynical and unhappy.
I agree; it's ironic isn't it?

I can't offer any advice other than what I do with difficult people. I realise that I can't change them, and the really important thing is what I do or don't do, not what they do or don't do.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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avaneesh912
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Re: Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

Post by avaneesh912 » Tue May 31, 2016 6:02 pm

Why do we have to worry about a non-alcoholic? You are right, this topic should be moved to bottom.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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tyg
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Re: Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

Post by tyg » Tue May 31, 2016 7:31 pm

Alcoholics aren't the only people spiritually sick, it is a human condition. Bottom of page 66 until the end at: "We cannot be helpful to all people but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one." In situations as these AA has tools I can utilize. I find they really work well. Pray for them and for self on how to handle this and any situation...then wait & listen the answers always come.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~

Lali
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Re: Is this attitude a form of a "stinking thinking" abyss?

Post by Lali » Sat Jun 04, 2016 9:51 am

I would expect for a person that has survived a life threatening illness to having feelings of gratitude; not cynicism. Of course, I must be mindful of expectations as they can be harmful at times, certainly not helpful!! Anyway, maybe she ought to make a gratitude list!

Should she cut you out of her life for any reason, I don't think this would be a big loss for you. You don't need negativity in your life either, don't you agree? If she cuts everyone out for their perceived or real negativity, she will probably wind up a lonely person because we all have negative thoughts at times; we are not perfect.

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