Vacation with normal drinkers

Got an issue with someone or something? Want to whine a little? Here's the place to do it, or to get to know folks, or ask those questions that don't fit anywhere else.
Post Reply

Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by Noels » Mon May 09, 2016 12:56 pm

Halllloooo beautiful people :D getting blooming cold here in our beautiful RSA. Winter came suddenly and I was not ready with the jerseys and boots yet.
Anyways, I am slightly worried about the December holiday. Hubby's entire family is going away together - mom and dad, sis and kids, brother and family and us :) we've done this a few times before and it worked out quite well so I'm looking forward to having the entire clan together again. :)
I'm only worried about one thing. His family are normal drinkers. They've been absolutely wonderful so far in that whenever weve gone to them for an event or to a restaurant nobody would have any alcohol but going away together, staying in the same house and using the same fridge ..... its only natural for a normal drinker to sit on the beach while the sun set and enjoy a glass of wine. I can not expect of them not to have any just because I'm around and it wont bother me if they are drinking.
What I am worried about is possibly having an open bottle of wine in the fridge especially since they drink white wine which was my choice of liquor.
Do you think I could discuss it with them at this stage and just ask that they don't leave open bottles of wine in the fridge? I am not craving anymore but since we also have an obsessive mind I honestly don't want to put myself in a position where I could loose it all because of one insane moment and possibly sneaking a sip while making coffee? (the milk would have to be taken from the fridge).
Do you think that will be a reasonable request or do you have any other suggestions for me in this regard?
Much appreciated and have a fab evening. Off to make my last cuppa then snoozy land await :D
Mwah xxx


Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by Noels » Mon May 09, 2016 1:03 pm

One more thing - I discussed alcohol /ism with the brother very briefly last night and I was shocked at how little non-drinkers or normal drinkers know about alcoholism. From our very short discussion it became clear to me that he thinks " alcohol is not a necessity so it shouldn't be hard not to drink as the body does not need it ". I didn't argue and just changed the conversation but I wonder what he really think of the times I got stonecold drunk - that I did it cause I enjoyed hitting my name with a brick? Perhaps give me suggestions on how to deal with the wine-in-the-fridge situation from this point of view pleeeeease :D
xxx Noels

User avatar
Forums Coordinator
Posts: 3824
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by Brock » Mon May 09, 2016 2:59 pm

I know we would have to think back to when we were about six months sober, to sort of judge how we would feel about this. Also everyone is different, and it is my belief that on the whole ladies seek far more 'support' from family members and friends.

Nobody ever didn't drink at a dinner or whatever I attended even at the start, basically because very few people knew I was trying to stop, and even those who did I couldn't really expect them not to drink. I did and still do ask my wife, on the occasions we go where drink is flowing to try and not have too much, I have no patience with drunk people.

I fully expect that by December, an open bottle in a fridge should be no more tempting than a bottle of pepper sauce.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

User avatar
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 8066
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:28 pm
Location: Iowa USA

Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by PaigeB » Mon May 09, 2016 7:55 pm

Booze IN your home? Make sure you have a safe place - like your bedroom. Don't put everyone's coat in there - but put a laptop there, and a book or 2 in there and a phone and phone charger. Plan out what meetings are available during the times of the visit. Do this BEFORE people arrive. Do this if you are going out of town too. Do this with online meetings if that is all that will be available.

Use short prayers for difficult moments... "damn it!" or "God save me from being angry" or "Help me be willing" or "show me where to be of service".

My favorite morning prayer is the 3rd Step Prayer, pg 63 of the Big Book - but the Serenity Prayer is quick and powerful!

Most of all, remember that you have an allergy. You might break out in handcuffs if you drink one drop!

PS - Also remember that the entire Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous LOVES you!
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65

User avatar
Trusted Servant
Posts: 5025
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by avaneesh912 » Tue May 10, 2016 3:55 am

I am not craving anymore but since we also have an obsessive mind I honestly don't want to put myself in a position where I could loose it all because of one insane moment and possibly sneaking a sip while making coffee? (the milk would have to be taken from the fridge).
This is a great situation for you to experience the 10th step promises. When they say, you will react normally and sanely! As long as we keep in fit spiritual state. And thats exactly what happens. I have been around many drinkers many occasions and thats what I have experienced. Every time that happens, my faith increases in the program. Enjoy the vacation. Set your own schedule for centering yourself. Even if you don't find an AA meeting, don't worry about it. I have gone without a meeting more than 3 weeks. But never forgot my meditation and introspection.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

User avatar
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 1306
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by positrac » Tue May 10, 2016 4:14 am

I guess for me what I've done when I went home to visit my other family down under was to take breaks from them as they love the grog. I would go out and take a walk and get into something else to take my mind off the drink and or how much they maybe consuming. I haven't been home to visit in over 15 years mainly because me aunt passed away and so it is not really the same. I went to a lot of meetings and would even do a few things with those members as to keep my mind clear.

I would say each to their own on holiday and "normal drinking"..... It is all trial and error and error is referring to how close to the edge does one walk before going off the cliff. These are tactics that take time to learn and respect and so for me I stayed away as to keep myself from doing something like drinking.

have fun and let us know how it went once you are back to reality.

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.


Re: Vacation with normal drinkers

Post by Noels » Tue May 10, 2016 7:05 am

thank you my friends :D this is all good advice whick I am " packing in " with me :D Jip. I'm definitely going to need those breaks Positrac. Our family is a crazy lot - hehehehehe - you can just imagine - to have put up with me for more than 21 years :lol:
Hehehehe this mind of mine ..... its already saying " or you could just say to hubby and son they'll have to make the coffee so you don't need to go to the fridge :lol: " manipulation streak - best always to be on the lookout for that one.
Have an awesome evening and thank you very very much for the advice and the confidence that all is going to be well.
Love you all
Mwah xxx

Post Reply