Where do I fit in?

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kittypineapple
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Where do I fit in?

Post by kittypineapple » Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:38 pm

Hello lovely people-
I am a former addict and have been off of heroin and meth for about 2 years. I took methadone to get off of heroin and was on it for 4 years. I switched from methadone to subutex and have been on that for about a year. I am getting off of subutex finally. My life has completely stabilized and turned around. I am in school and have 2 jobs. I have not been attending meetings in this whole time. I drink alcohol (wine and very rarely beer) occasionally. Maybe once a month, more or less..never more than a couple glasses. I do not feel the urge to drink if something goes wrong in my life. I drink on special occasions or with a nice dinner. I am a chef in training and enjoy wine and food pairing. Anyway, I have started to attend meetings because I am tapering off of subutex and my doctor suggested that I have extra support. I am wondering if I should completely stop drinking? I feel like in these meetings I might be looked down on because of my situation. I don't think I have a problem with it but it seems like if I want to go to meetings and be involved with NA and have a sponsor that I would not be allowed to have my occasional drink. It's not a very big deal in my personal life, but professionally it could be. I wonder if I am just lying to myself and playing around with a loaded gun. I feel like maybe I am being that person who thinks that they are different and these rules of addiction don't apply to me. I would never feel comfortable bringing this up at meeting level. What do you all think?

Robert R
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Re: Where do I fit in?

Post by Robert R » Sat Mar 19, 2016 2:12 am

Hi kitty, Welcome. First off, I have no personal experience of your dilemma however in the community groups I volunteer in your question is often raised by folks like yourself. Fear of falling into another addiction trap is a strong motivator for some to abstain completely. Others however feel safe in drinking in moderation.
On the other hand if 'fear' of having to not drink is stopping you from fully engaging with NA then maybe drinking is more important than you wish to acknowledge!

Robert
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.

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positrac
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Re: Where do I fit in?

Post by positrac » Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:16 am

I would say though my experiences dealing with addicts that if they drink they are really trading addictions and your road has been rough and the lessons learned I would of thought this would of been so difficult that going through it again would be clear you don't need to re0learn another lesson about addiction.

Also keeping busy is great although I would suggest the pace method as it doesn't take much for us addictive personalities to get in a jam and we fall and of fail. Balance is the key to our survival and future as if we can't we could die and our legacy is lost.

I hope you'd consider this and look for that sweet place so you can capitalize life off drugs and or alcohol because you deserve good things.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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tyg
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Re: Where do I fit in?

Post by tyg » Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:25 pm

positrac wrote:I would say though my experiences dealing with addicts that if they drink they are really trading addictions
This has been my experience with addicts to. The NA 12 Steps would be a great benefit to do with another. It could reveal a lot of things that you cannot see about yourself and addiction. If ever you find yourself drinking more than intended and...if this happens more than once...you probably are headed for great trouble.
kittypineapple wrote: I don't think I have a problem with it but it seems like if I want to go to meetings and be involved with NA and have a sponsor that I would not be allowed to have my occasional drink.
This reminds me of me when I used to talk myself out of doing things because my thinking did not want to see the truth about my alcoholism. I'd justify myself out of doing what would allow me to see the truth.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~

Noels

Re: Where do I fit in?

Post by Noels » Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:50 am

Hi Kitty welcome. I don't have as much experience as everyone else but I'm a smoker as well as an alcoholic. I was advised to let go of 1 thing at a time and it's working well for me. Some would possibly argue that smoking is not in the same league as drugs or alcohol. I place it in the same category. An addiction is an addiction.
I personally believe that in the same way that there are alcoholics who does not have a drug dependency, there are also addicts who doesn't have a problem with alcohol. You are the only one who can answer your question.
Personally I would get off the meds first and just be very honest with myself as to the wine aspect. If you feel or notice it's becoming a problem do something about it immediately.
And since your problem is in fact drug related I would say you are exactly where iyou are supposed to be. At NA. Out of respect for other suffering addicts with multiple addictions I wouldn't drink if I go to a meeting. I would also not include the fact that I can have a drink without it being a problem in my shares. Not because I'm ashamed of it but out of respect for those who are not as fortunate as you are.
That's how I feel about it but as I said I am not an expert and others have more experience than me. Good luck and let us know what you decide.
Mwah xxx
Love and light Noels

D'oh
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Re: Where do I fit in?

Post by D'oh » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:24 pm

Hi KittyPuneapple and Welcome.

And Thanks Noel, looking back I didn't smoke before coming to meetings. Back then the rooms were full of smoke, and I started for a bit of a relief, and because I was smoking secondhand anyways. It hasn't caused any charges or jail time yet, so the least of 2 evils I guess.

The only local meeting here on Saturday is an Open NA meeting, so I go occasionally. Having dabbled in recreational drug use, but not really my problem the meeting are very helpful. I could see that they could very easily become my "Escape" if it were not for the Program.

And that is just it Alcohol was only a Symptom. It was Life and my inability to live in it that was the problem. The NA meeting makes it very clear that we are fighting the same illness with different Symptoms. Either program gives us a Way to Live without altering Life.

I would be very careful drinking as an Addict, just as I am Very careful of Drugs as an Alcoholic. Only if needed or prescribed.

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