Relapse

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Spinner68
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Relapse

Post by Spinner68 » Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:34 pm

I'm new to this site. But I am sorry to tell you all after nearly 3 years sobriety I have relapsed. I feel so ashamed of myself

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ezdzit247
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Re: Relapse

Post by ezdzit247 » Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:54 pm

Spinner68 wrote:I'm new to this site. But I am sorry to tell you all after nearly 3 years sobriety I have relapsed. I feel so ashamed of myself
Hi Spinner68 and welcome.

You are not alone. Many AA members experience relapse. It happens. I relapsed about 18 times for almost two years after my first AA meeting and then when I was finally able to stay sober, I relapsed again just before what would have been my second AA birthday. I call that drunk the best drunk I ever had because that's the drunk that got me to surrender totally and unconditionally to working the AA program one day at a time and make sobriety my number one priority. I was only out about 3-4 days but it trashed me. I went to an AA meeting soon after that and raised my hand as a newcomer. Hated doing that but did it for the next 30 days anyway as it was the custom in my meeting area. It humbled me and I didn't like that either, but I needed that humility to stay sober. That was almost 38 years ago and haven't experienced any more relapses since. So far, so good.

If you are looking for suggestions, I would suggest you go to a meeting tonight and dump whatever shame you feel there. That worked real well for me.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spinner68
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Re: Relapse

Post by Spinner68 » Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:54 pm

Thank you for your reply.

Merl
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Re: Relapse

Post by Merl » Tue Mar 08, 2016 3:16 pm

Hi Spinner68,

I'm at 127 days, still a newbie. One thing I found helpful was to admit my vulnerability. Recently I had to take my new found sobriety on the road. I was scared to death. I let people know how I felt at a meeting. Much to my surprise, many others told of their feelings of vulnerability. I thought, incorrectly, that this was only something only I was experiencing. I gained a lot of insight into how others handled it and stayed with their program. I was encouraged. Packed in my bag was my bible, the big book, the daily reflections book and the names and numbers of those in my home group. I made good use of those items and also posted here during my travels. I got home last night. I went to my home group today. Cheers went up when I walked in and many said glad you're back and gee you look good. I met, in my travels at a meeting, a celebrity who has 21 years of sobriety. He said to me "It's work. But everyday you don't drink or drug is a win." I was amazed. This person has a net worth of 80 million dollars and said they still struggle at 21 years of sobriety. We are all in the same boat! He also told me,"Stay with the program. Do you know why you have to? Because alcohol kills. It will kill you. It's hard work. But don't quit." So, get back to work. Talk to us. We may not have a net worth of 80 million dollars but what we all have is priceless.....the peace and serenity of our sobriety and each other to share it with. It's never too late to start over. You can do this. I believe in you.

Here to help you back in the boat,
Merl

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Brock
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Re: Relapse

Post by Brock » Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:47 pm

He said to me "It's work. But everyday you don't drink or drug is a win." I was amazed. This person has a net worth of 80 million dollars and said they still struggle at 21 years of sobriety. We are all in the same boat!
I am very sorry he said that to you, it may be his experience, but it most certainly is not the same boat I or every AA member I know, who has done the steps, is in.

One of the original 100 members, and someone who very many of us have the greatest respect for, Clarence Snyder, was fond of saying in his recorded 'pep talks,' "If you are finding this program difficult...You aren't doing it right."

Not saying you are wrong for repeating what you heard, as a newer member you have not experienced just how simple this program can become, the actions I take to remain sober happy and free have become second nature. The book promises that we will not struggle, it says “the problem has been removed, it does not exist for us,” how could I struggle with something that does not exist. You will see the truth in this when you complete the steps, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Layne
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Re: Relapse

Post by Layne » Tue Mar 08, 2016 5:21 pm

Hi Spinner68, welcome to the group! You don't need to feel ashamed, you are working on a problem that has inflicted all of us. The shame would be if you continued to drink instead of seeking help.

Relapse is part of my past so I can relate to what you are feeling. The only way I could past the shame I felt over relapsing was by dragging my ass back through the doors of AA by telling myself that I didn't want my tombstone to read "died of embarrassment".

As I said, relapse is part of my past. It is not my present. Since working the 12 steps, alcohol has become a non-issue for me. I don't drink, nor do I not drink. I have "been placed in a position of neutrality" (*pg 85 big book*) as far as alcohol goes. Today I get to just live and focus on improving my spiritual condition.

Glad that you are here. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Spinner68
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Re: Relapse

Post by Spinner68 » Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:03 am

Thank you all for the responses. They have really been helpful.

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ezdzit247
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Re: Relapse

Post by ezdzit247 » Sun Mar 13, 2016 2:51 pm

Spinner68 wrote:Thank you all for the responses. They have really been helpful.
The ESH you have to share about relapsing will be very helpful and inspiring to newcomers who need hope that they too can make it no matter how many times they have picked up a drink again.
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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