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Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:44 am
by avaneesh912
I shared my story in 5th with a therapist instead of my sponsor.
I am not sure how many Therapist out there understand the 12 steps process.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:45 am
by Noels
Hi see big book page 74 4th edition 2nd paragraph

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:12 pm
by avaneesh912
Hi see big book page 74 4th edition 2nd paragraph
Back then, there werent many AAers around so they put this. 5th step is not just about confession. We identify our short-comings and we start changing. The way she is treating the new-comer, I don't see a change. Sorry to be blunt.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:19 pm
by Noels
And you know this because you were around then or perhaps connected with Bill in the afterlife? The " trusted leader " at my old group apparently have the actual original AA script so I will confirm or dispute this in due course. Very interesting - as I said when I joined this site - I now want the truth and nothing but the truth so thanks for bringing this up. Very very interesting indeed.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 2:09 am
by Noels
Hi Aneesah, my apologies. Unfortunately my nails also come out at times. I need to remind myself that I am on this site to get information and other point of views. That my particular view is not always the right one so thank you very much for your response and please accept my humble apology.

have a lovely day and thanks for the lesson.

mwah xxx
Love and Light
Noels

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 2:19 am
by Noels
Heheheheheheeh me again - pleeeeese forgive me but I simply must put this in ..... BUT ..... the 5th step does not cover all mentioned in your reply. The 5th step says " Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs : THEN

Step 6 " Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character : AND ONLY in

Step 7 " Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings" ......

so although I know what you mean effectively this member did exactly what she had to do in step 5.

Sooooo sorry

Love and Light
Noels xxx

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 5:47 am
by avaneesh912
When do the fifth step, it will give us the grosser handicaps. In my case it was total male chauvinistic attitude, thats the conditioning that I had to work on. Patience was another key issue. Road rage. And I started working on it and started making amends and somewhere around that time, fortunately for me, Mark Hs talk on 10 and 11 came to me. Where he talked about jumping into 10 and 11 right away after 5th step and using the disciplines of 10 and 11 we make amends. That way we don't make newer mistakes. It took about little bit more than a year to all of these to sink in. And then I started raising hands to sponsor others. I didn't have many people to work with but I did what my higher power led me to. I gave away CDs at f2f meetings. Pissed some old-timers off because for them I was not following the "attraction not promotion" tradition. Ran Joe and Charlie tapes at the BB study again against the old-timers wish but with GCs support because it was non-approved literature. Slowly slowly more people reached up to me. Reborn pointed out that we can transmit what we don't have. I agree to that. Yesterday we ran a workshp at the same group its not my home group anymore, as usual not a single old-timer was there. But there were about 25 people all eager to suck it all up. The visual we came up with (which I posted somewhere earlier) really helped them to see the vicious cycle and see that "mind is the main problem of the alcoholic". if this person is going to run around getting pissed of at what others are doing, she is eventually going to get drunk. Because she is going to hit the blank spot Fred hit.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:29 am
by Noels
Hi Avaneesah thanks for the response. Very interesting. I know I don't have as much sobriety as you clearly do and sincerely do not wish to sound disrespectful at all.
I appreciate and understand what I you're saying and appreciate your patience but ...
Please bear in mind that the truth is only available to those who question everything they have been taught whilst reading this.
For the last 6 months it's been drilled into me that
1. The 12 steps is not a buffet. That's why they numbered, follow in order and there are 12 of them. So we have to do each step. Choosing which steps to do or skipping any step WILL result in picking up a drink again.
2. So bearing 1 above in mind, don't you agree that we you now not arguing with me (a person ) but with big book itself?
3. You were also guided and followed your Higher Powers guidance and instructions against the wishes of the elders and succeeded so why should the newcomer not be allowed the same courtesy to explore a method of their own under guidance?
Please don't for one moment think that I'm being disrespectful. You have achieved what I still hope to and for that I honour you but these are valid questions
Love and light
Noels

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:01 am
by avaneesh912
Absolutely. There there some things you hear in meetings but I gained more knowledge listening to talks about Chris R and Mark H. If you have time, today being Sunday, you can go over to Xa-speakers and search for Mark H talk, its the one he delviered in Delmar. About an hour and 20 minutes. When I say 10 and 11 I didn't mean you skip the rest. Thats the handicap of these forums. Listen to it, you probably have a different outlook upon the way the program to be used. In no way I was suggesting pick what you like, buffet style. I never will suggest that.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:18 am
by leejosepho
Noels wrote:The " trusted leader " at my old group apparently have the actual original AA script...
There really is no such thing in relation to all the fine details. Bill took the Steps in essence even before they were written, and the latter 12&12 is said to be closer to what he actually did in some areas than what is in our Basic Text. Some people say selfishness and self-centeredness are the same and that defects and shortcomings also are the same, but there is good reason to say otherwise at times. If you really want to know what the Steps are about, do not land on anyone's dogma. I know the book as well as anyone you might ever meet, and anyone who claims to have final answers is delusional (or at least still suffering from lack of knowledge and experience).

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 11:03 am
by Noels
Much appreciated. Hehehe I'm going to try give you a rest this week whilst exploring this experience and trying to find the suggested talks. I'm in RSA and not sure where to find it but I'm sure if I search hard enough I will. Thank you very very very. Have a wonderful week and chat again.
Love and light
Noels

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 11:26 am
by Brock
I'm in RSA and not sure where to find it but I'm sure if I search hard enough I will.
The talk avaneesh is speaking about, and probably every other AA talk, is much easier to find on you tube, just enter in you tube search box -AA Mark H Delmar- it will be the one on top of the page, best of luck.

Re: I do not share my story but want others to share with me

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 11:43 am
by Reborn
Page 124...
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.

The original post is refering to not sharing with others not the 5th step. Sharing our story is a vital part of AA's program of recovery. When I hear people who are not willing to share their story I have to wonder if there is something they are holding onto.

page 73..
They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.

Like wearing the mask they talk about in the next paragraph.

page 73..
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

I did my 5th with another alcoholic...and have been on the recieving end of a few myself...who better to understand my messed up thinking than another alcoholic. After I did my 5th step it took the power out of all that S*** I packed around for so many years. Today I can share some of the darkest things that happened to me in an effort to give someone else some hope and perhaps save a life..."we will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it"..."no matter how far down the scale we have gone we will see how our experience can benefit others"...the promises do come true.