Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

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Merl
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Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Merl » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:13 pm

Hi Ya All,
Merl here. Found myself in a position to be traveling for a month to some familiar places. Here's my fear: been taking my sobriety one day at a time, praying, reading the Big Book, daily reflections, going to meetings and staying in touch with my sponsor daily. I don't have a desire to drink, but I'm home, ya know in my comfort zone, still new in my sobriety. As I mentioned I will be traveling. I have checked out local meeting places and times, contact with my sponsor will still be on a daily basis, all of the other things I've mentioned will continue to be in my daily routine. However, I have this looming concern, fear, whatever about traveling this early in my sobriety. Would love to hear from anyone who went through a similar situation or has some insight into this. I'm truly concerned because I was told by an veteran AA member today that if I'm counting the days of my recovery then I'm telling him the numbers of days until I have my next drink. The same person then said that they are celebrating ten years tomorrow. I said "if 86 days sober is telling you it's 86 days to my next drink then ten years sober means it's ten years till your next drink." He said "No. Ten years is an accomplishment" and preceded to tell me that I am still intoxicated !! 86 days sober after drinking for 50 years is to me an accomplishment. Now with that added ontop of my concern about traveling in my early sobriety, I could use some good advice from you all, seasoned and newcomers alike.
Peace to you all,
Merl

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avaneesh912
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:35 pm

I'm truly concerned because I was told by an veteran AA member today that if I'm counting the days of my recovery then I'm telling him the numbers of days until I have my next drink.
You will hear all tragic cliches like this. But let me ask you, how far are you in the steps. Do you have a list of character defects you have to focus on? You could pretty much start practicing 10 and 11 everyday from today once you have that list. Using those disciplines of 10 and 11 you start making amends and commence this way of life as the book says so.

You get to experience the 10th step promise:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

Edit: @xa-speakers there is a Mark H talk on 10 and 11, you could find it on you-tube too.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Robert R
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Robert R » Thu Jan 28, 2016 2:08 pm

Hi Merl, You are powerless over the ten year mans cliche'd thinking. I too travelled in early sobriety, like yourself I researched meetings to attend. My travels were in Southern Ireland, Counties Cork and Kerry and there proved to be an abundance of meetings to go to where the support I sought was available in plenty.
Keep close to your sponsor via phone, keep it in the day and get to as many meetings as possible is the best plan in my experience.
Remember that those meetings you go to are rooms of friends you have not met yet.
The worst scenario - this will broaden your experience of AA.
The best scenario - this will broaden your experience of AA. :wink: :lol: :wink:

Robert
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Spirit Flower » Thu Jan 28, 2016 3:25 pm

I went to meetings all over the place my first couple of years. People were always nice. One time the people could see I was a little emotional just about new sobriety. So they took me out to a diner after the meeting also. I stayed sober.
One time, I got lost in a Detroit snowstorm. Never made the meeting, but I didn't drink either.
...a score card reading zero...

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Chelle
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Chelle » Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:03 pm

Happy travels!
Last edited by Chelle on Sun Apr 17, 2016 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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whipping post
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by whipping post » Fri Jan 29, 2016 5:25 am

Hi Merl,

I'm not sure I understand that old timers logic. Never heard that one before.

Anytime I traveled in early sobriety and was nervous about the trip everything ended up being ok. Perhaps it was because being nervous made me get prepared like you are doing. Going into it with a lax attitude would probably be a recipe for disaster.

Are you working the steps?

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avaneesh912
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by avaneesh912 » Fri Jan 29, 2016 5:30 am

I'm not sure I understand that old timers logic. Never heard that one before.
Take a grapevine magazine, you will be amazed. I will just leave it there. What a tragedy.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Lali
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Lali » Fri Jan 29, 2016 10:36 pm

So he's saying you haven't accomplished anything? Ludicrous and arrogant of him.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Merl
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Merl » Sun Jan 31, 2016 4:56 pm

Hi avaneesh 912, Robert R, Spirit Flower, Chelle, whipping post and Lali,

Wow !!! Really great stuff you all. Thank you. When planning this trip my nerves were at a peak! The "what ifs" started creeping in. Still being new ( 90 days tomorrow ) I've been warned to stay vigilant and not let complacency take hold. I've been doing everything that is recommended and being sure to dot the I's and cross the T's. Been working the steps and when I was confronted about 86 days, I thanked the person for their concern for me and was embracing the freedom of living in my sobriety. I could have had a confrontation with that member but to what purpose. He was going on about ten years and it came clear to me that perhaps his ten years has been one as a dry drunk. He's full of resentment and tries to control others in the group. Sad to know by what others have told me that he is not living fully in the freedom sobriety brings. I considered the Big Books advice about dealing with the person as though you would a sick person. I did find peace in that and in your posts also. And thank you for sharing that you've taken your sobriety on the road too. Oh yes, and that I should enjoy the change of scenery. Feeling a little more at ease about taking my new found sobriety on the road. I WILL BE CHECKING IN WHILE TRAVELING !!! YOURE ALL GOING TO BE TRAVELING WITH ME. Ya know, the safety in numbers thing. :lol: I could pass on this but eventually a trip would come up. I know there will be a few this year. Maybe getting one under my belt will give me some self confidence that I can live soberly anywhere. I've already sought out local meetings. We will be going out to some local places with a couple we know and I've already told them that I'm in AA and can have tea, coffee, soda and the like. The reply was "What! You're not going to be drinking with us? Well praise Jesus. We'll join you." I thought wow, yes "Praise Jesus" indeed! They are even willing to help me find meetings. Awesome!
Taking it on the road!
Onward with my journey into sobriety and the world.
Merl

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positrac
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by positrac » Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:35 am

Back in the day before the net and apps I used to find the nearest meeting location and make my appearance as it gave me some place I could go and locals who are sober like me. I traveled the world and we drunks are all alike no matter color, religion and or social habits and so I kept a sound place in my mind. Some places I visited had a lot of temptations and so the locals could help render support in old habits.

I travel today although not at the level I did last year and I still look up a meeting and do as I did so many years ago and it stills works and for that I feel at ease.

You are in good hands and so travel and be well.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

Merl
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Re: Merl here. Nervous about my sobriety and traveling.

Post by Merl » Tue Feb 02, 2016 11:15 am

Hey Everyone,

So thankful for all of your support. Will be going to two beach locations, so yes, as some of you mentioned the temptations will be there. I have checked for local AA face to face meetings. I told some friends of mine, who like to "party" that I am in AA and will not be drinking and I'll be going to meetings there. I was surprised by their reply. "We're with ya Merl, we won't drink when we're all together and we'll even search out and go to meetings with you." I nearly fell over. Secondly, while packing, I came across my old trusty flask filled with my favorite whiskey. I opened it, took one whiff and felt extremely nauseated at what use to be the sweet aroma!!! I know I'll never be cured, but that told me I don't want the golden liquid either! I never, ever got sick when drinking. Never had a hangover honestly. But WOW, that whiff had me running for the bathroom!! The promises popped right in my head. And so did the reading that says that we will "recoil from it" ( the page of the Big Book eludes me at present). But dog gone it, it did!!! Feeling a little more confident, not cocky, but more sure that with vigilance and following the steps, going to meetings, keeping up with my sponsor, following my God , praying, and last but not least keeping you all close by, I can stay in my sobriety. I'm finding my sobriety is like a garden in that it needs tending to grow and keep the weeds out. My sponsor told me that I have gotten to a point where I have taken ownership of my sobriety. Thanks to all of you for helping me do this. Hope you're all ready to travel....I'll be taking you all along with me. My friends are having a Super Bowl party on Sunday ( the ones I'm going to be seeing in my travels). They have already passed the word that it's going to be a " dry party". No one drunk allowed in and no drinking at the party. How awesome is that!! Now I don't care who wins the game because I'll be among a bunch of winners!! Will keep you posted along the way.
Peace All,
Merl

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