Please! 750ml+ 90mg mdone, killing me

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eide
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Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2016 4:24 pm

Please! 750ml+ 90mg mdone, killing me

Post by eide » Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:38 pm

I cant function without at least 750ml of rum daily but its usually more, was dependant on opiates. And im now dependant on 90mg methadone maintenance... I would LOVE to be clean of everything... but when i go without the methadon. And alcohol, my heart rate jumps 120-135bpm blood pressure ia high as hell, i dont know what to do, Im so fking SICK of putting my body/mind through this abuse... but if i dont its constant vomit and im on the verge of strokes daily..... im at the point id rather just die QUICK than have prolonged pain.... my family knows im on the mmt program ..im just asking if anyone knows a.free or sliding scale facility in the south-western ky,north west tn area... i dont want to die , without a fight.... i admire all AA /NA individuals. Ive been to numerous meetings, worked the steps, I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE PPL THAT CLAIM THEY CURED THEIR ADDICTION , ITS A LIFETIME AILMENT DAMNUT, NOT JUST A COLD. PLEASE... link removed per forum policy. i love life, just not feeding booze and substances ... ily christ and i know its a test... but idk ..its challenging

Reborn
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Re: Please! 750ml+ 90mg mdone, killing me

Post by Reborn » Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:49 pm

It might be a good idea to check into some medical treatment for the withdrawals. I had to be detoxed in a hospital and not just off alcohol so I feel for you. Its time to get out of your comfort zone and be willing to do something different. You say you worked the steps but did you continue to practice 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis? You're right in saying that we are not cured of alocholism...the Big Book says what we really have a daily reprieve contingent on our spiritual maintenance...we get that maintenance by practicing 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis. Sounds to me like you know you have a problem...now its time to take action...it doesn't matter what you have done before...make a new beginning today...the 4th dimension awaits...glad you are here!
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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PaigeB
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Re: Please! 750ml+ 90mg mdone, killing me

Post by PaigeB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:18 pm

Hi eide! Glad you found us! I also do not like the idea that there is a cure... I have a chronic condition, more like an allergy really - add any alcohol whatever into my body and I simply HAVE to have MORE. Until I pass out, usually long after my mind blacks out. But I haven't had a drink in a few 24 hours now, and it is ONLY thanks to this daily program of ACTION.

But before I could start on this journey, I had to get to a point of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Oh I got there! No consequences made me want to quit, I had to be beaten beyond understanding before I was willing to surrender my bottles. Read page 30 of the Big Book. Here is a link to it http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-liter ... -anonymous

Then read page 164.

Keep coming back!
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65

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