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THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 6:39 am
by avaneesh912
This is excerpts from A New earth by Eckhart. Brock brought up the fantasy topic yesterday. I like this segment because its helped me realize the difference between consciousness & thought.

That first glimpse of awareness came to me when I was a first­ year student at the University of London. I would take the tube (subway) twice a week to go to the university library, usually around nine o’clock in the morning, toward the end of the rush hour. One time a woman in her early thirties sat opposite me. I had seen her before a few times on that train. One could not help but notice her. Although the train was full, the seats on either side of her were unoccupied, the reason being, no doubt, that she appeared to be quite insane. She looked extremely tense and talked to herself incessantly in a loud and angry voice. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she was totally unaware, in seemed, of other people or her surroundings. Her head was facing downward and slightly to the left, as if she were addressing someone sitting in the empty seat next to her. Although I don’t remember the precise content, her monologue went something like this: “And then she said to me... so I said to her you are a liar how dare you accuse me of... when you are the one who has always taken advantage of me I trusted you and you betrayed my trust...” There was the angry tone in her voice of someone who has been wronged, who needs to defend her position lest she become annihilated.

As the train approached Tottenham Court Road Station, she stood up and walked toward the door with still no break in the stream of words coming out of her mouth. That was my stop too, so I got off behind her. At street level, she began to walk toward Bedford Square, still engaged in her imaginary dialogue, still angrily accusing and asserting her position. My curiosity aroused, I decided to follow her as long as she was walking in the same general direction I had to go in. Although engrossed in her imaginary dialogue, she seemed to know where she was going. Soon we were within sight of the imposing structure of Senate House, a 1930’s high­rise, the university’s central administrative building and library. I was shocked. Was it possible that we were going to the same place? Yes, that’s’ where she was heading. Was she a teacher, student, an office worker, a librarian? Maybe she was some psychologist’s research project. I never knew the answer. I walked twenty steps behind her, and by the time I entered the building (which ironically was the location of the headquarters of the “Mind Police” in the film version of George Orwell’s novel, 1984), she had already been swallowed up by one of the elevators.
I was somewhat taken aback by what I had just witnessed. A mature first ­year student at twenty ­five, I saw myself as an intellectual in the making, and I was convinced that all the answers to the dilemmas of human existence could be found through the intellect, that is to say, by thinking. I didn’t realize yet that thinking without awareness is the main dilemma of human existence. I looked upon the professors as sages who had all the answers and upon the university as the temple of knowledge. How could an insane person like her be part of this?

I was still thinking about her when I was in the men’s room prior to entering the library. As I was washing my hands, I thought: I hope I don’t end up like her. The man next to me looked briefly in my direction, and I suddenly was shocked when I realized that I hadn’t just thought those words, but mumbled them aloud. “Oh my God, I’m already like her,” I thought. Wasn’t my mind as incessantly active as hers? There were only minor differences between us. The predominant underlying emotion behind her thinking seemed to be anger. In my case, it was mostly anxiety. She thought out loud. I thought – mostly – in my head. If she was mad, then everyone was mad, including myself. There were differences in degree only.

For a moment, I was able to stand back from my own mind and see it from a deeper perspective, as it were. There was a brief shift from thinking to awareness. I was still in the men’s room, but alone now, looking at my face in the mirror. At that moment of detachment from my mind, I laughed out loud. It may have sounded insane, but it was the laughter of sanity, the laughter of the big­-bellied Buddha. “Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.” That’s what the laughter seemed to be saying. But it was only a glimpse, very quickly to be forgotten. I would spend the next three years in anxiety and depression, completely identified with my mind. I had to get close to suicide before awareness returned, and then it was much more than a glimpse. I became free of compulsive thinking and of the false, mind­-made “I.”
The above incident not only gave me a first glimpse of awareness, it also planted the first doubt as to the absolute validity of the human intellect. A few months later, something tragic happened that made my doubt row. On a Monday morning, we arrived for a lecture to be given by a professor whose mind I admired greatly, only to be told that sadly he had committed suicide sometime during the weekend by shooting himself. I was stunned. He was a highly respected teacher and seemed to have all the answers. However, I could as yet see no alternative to the cultivation of thought. I didn’t realize yet that thinking is only a tiny aspect of the consciousness that we are, nor did I know anything about the ego, let alone being able to detect it within myself.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:48 am
by 2granddaughters
I have known many AAs who helped many folks get sober over the years but could not get it themselves.

That's one of the realities that is hard to grasp for many of us.

We all have "a lot to learn" and we'll never learn it all.

My wife and I have read hundreds of books by numerous great spiritual, religious and psychological mentors and none of them have "the answer".
The more we read the less we know for sure ... but the closer we get to the truth (God).

I can't post links but go to YouTube and enter "Fr. Keating & Rabbi Schachter - Kiss of God" and "Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps "

All the best.

Bob R

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:27 am
by avaneesh912
This I received from a "Swami". Kind of close to what we do in AA. Like you said, some get it some dont.


“Where does God live?” the king of Kazakhstan asked his first question.
Birbal demanded a glass of milk in response. As soon as he got it, he dipped his fingers in the glass and started rubbing them.

“Hmm…” he said shaking his head. “There’s no butter in this milk.”

Everyone in the court laughed out loud, and then the king said, “You have to churn milk to get the cream. Further the cream must be churned to extract butter.”

“Exactly, Your Excellency,” Birbal said. “The butter is in the milk but we can’t see it. The milk has to undergo a certain process before we can taste butter. Similarly, God lives in all living beings but an individual has to purify himself to experience the presence of God. He has to churn his consciousness and erase his ignoble thoughts, feelings and desires to extract the divinity.”

*-----*

Even on this forum, you can easily see who are in the light and who are in the dark. Of course you have to be an observer not a critic.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:43 am
by 2granddaughters
And we have to be "helpers". Be part of the group .. of AA. To pass it on.

The final decision between the two "helper or critic" is in the mind of the receiver.

When a person is "closed" to help I can't say anything right.
When a person is "open" to help I can't say anything wrong.

I wish I only had one voice in my head most days ... I think things would go smoother. :lol:

Bob

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:12 am
by avaneesh912
I wish I only had one voice in my head most days ... I think things would go smoother. :lol:
For ET it happened naturally and we have to work at it. Thats why we have meditiation as the 11th step, after we have looked at our make up (4th step inventory) so our "voice in the head" is bearable.

Going back to Birbals note, We see atheist in AA, setting aside the "God exist or not dialog in their head" and diving into the process of inventory and sharing with another and realizing this power. Perhaps this is the reason why Bill W had that statement:

Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:14 am
by Tosh
2granddaughters wrote:
I wish I only had one voice in my head most days ... I think things would go smoother. :lol:
I relate, but that's a very funny statement when you think about it. More than one voice in our heads, and just who is it - exactly - that owns the head these voices are in?

:lol:

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:21 am
by 2granddaughters
Sometimes the tail does wag the dog with us alkies.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:21 pm
by PaigeB
When a person is "closed" to help I can't say anything right.
When a person is "open" to help I can't say anything wrong.
I "like" this.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:44 am
by Niagara
2granddaughters wrote:
I wish I only had one voice in my head most days ... I think things would go smoother. :lol:
Those voices are literally different voices for me. It's the weirdest thing. Before you call for the men in white jackets :shock: :lol: I have this habit of 'attaching' personalities that I know of, to which voice it is. For example, the angry one is gordon ramsay, the critical one, Gillian mckeith, the kind, loving one, my grandparents, either or...and so on.

I can't shut those voices up sometimes. That Gillian...she's a real shrew when she gets going...I'm learning all I can do is not hook into it in the same ways. Water off a ducks back, most of the time. Let it roll off, seek the truth, because these voices don't always tell you that. In fact, they rarely do. Even the grandparents...who always let me off the hook, bless em :lol:

The less I hook into them, the more power they lose.

I barely understood this concept at the start. It was over my head. Say what???. Now I begin to see it's value. The truth is everything. These days I have this little voice that strangely I haven't attached anyone to yet :wink: That little voice says 'pause, is that real? what are the facts, what might you need to change? Get the feelings out of the way and get it on a business level, then look at it again'. I think I might attach yoda to this voice :lol: 'hook into this mind gabble, you must not'.

What can I say. It's fun in my world ;)

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 12:36 pm
by PaigeB
Before you call for the men in white jackets :shock: :lol:
I was about 15 when I made an attempt to not drink based on associations with the church and people who did not drink. No one had diagnosed me with alcoholism and I think this was before my brother was diagnosed. He was the obvious drunk, I was just dabbling I guess. One time, I was trying to explain to my mom that these "voices"... and BAH! It was a short trip to the minister's office for a dab of oil and some urgent mumblings... Truth is, that exercise was crazier than the voices! I peeked during the prayers and these folks were serious, but my brain was whirring away telling me how they were crazy in 20 different ways! :lol:

I tried to tell them that it was my own voice and that it wasn't telling me to start fires or anything - but I guess alcohol is the devil too? Well, maybe to them it was. Soon after that the minister's daughter got caught with some pot (I didn't smoke pot) and I got blamed as a bad influence. Then there was a string of things like this for her (even though I was banished) and she got sent away to treatment or christian school or something and I just went back to drinking.

Nothing has worked to calm those "voices" for me except AA. Whew.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 4:30 pm
by Spirit Flower
Yesterday I was out running. In this park there are stations where dog owners can grab a baggie and pick up their dog's poop. I hate it that many dog owners just leaver their dog's poop in the middle of the trail.

Yesterday, I noticed a man with a dog who was taking numerous baggies out of the station. Now my ego had a dilemma. Do I be grateful that this man cleans up after his dog or pissed that he is taking too many bags and probably uses them at home too? I am a taxpayer after all. I don't have a dog but I buy bags for those who do. Harumph!

:lol: :lol:

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 8:08 pm
by avaneesh912
Now my ego had a dilemma.
Yeah, thats the job of the Ego.


Let me remind you briefly how the ego operates and how it creates drama. Ego is the unobserved mind that runs your life when you are not present as the witnessing consciousness, the watcher. The ego perceives itself as a separate fragment in a hostile universe, with no real inner connection to any other being, surrounded by other egos which it either sees as a potential threat or which it will attempt to use for its own ends. The basic ego patterns are designed to combat its own deep-seated fear and sense of lack. They are resistance, control, power, greed, defense, attack. Some of the ego's strategies are extremely clever, yet they never truly solve any of its problems, simply because the ego itself is the problem.

When egos come together, whether in personal relationships or in organizations or institutions (or forums like this), "bad" things happen sooner or later: drama of one kind or another, in the form of conflict, problems, power struggles, emotional or physical violence, and so on. This includes collective evils such as war, genocide, and exploitation - all due to massed unconsciousness. Furthermore, many types of illness are caused by the ego's continuous resistance, which creates restrictions and blockages in the flow of energy through the body. When you reconnect with Being and are no longer run by your mind, you cease to create those things. You do not create or participate in drama anymore.

Whenever two or more egos come together, drama of one kind or another ensues. But even if you live totally alone, you still create your own drama. When you feel sorry for yourself, that's drama. Whenyou feel guilty or anxious, that's drama. When you let the past or future obscure the present, you are creating time, psychological time - the stuff out of which drama is made. Whenever you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 2:19 pm
by avaneesh912
I like the last Q&A in the book:

How will I know when I have surrendered?

When you no longer need to ask the question.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:46 pm
by Spirit Flower
Sam Harris says (in Waking Up), just pretend you have no head, the voice immediately disappears. This works.

Re: THE VOICE IN THE HEAD

Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 12:39 am
by PaigeB
I just started reading Waking up! Loved it from the start! No spoilers! :lol: