Layne wrote:This would indicate that you are broken. Have you considered that the possibility that you are not broken, but merely the you that you are supposed to be. The question arises from the right fighter side of your personality.
avaneesh912 wrote:We could still state our opinion/experience and not be reactive.
Which brings up something that I was unable to put into words until now. As the book points out, just because I ask for my shortcomings to be removed, just because I am ready for my character defects to be removed, doesn't mean that they will be, at least not on my timetable. For various reasons, certain defects/shortcomings may be necessary for me at any given time, I guess. Regardless, for me to just assume that they will be gone because I wish them gone is folly, even arrogance.leejosepho wrote:and that does ultimately amount to the "spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." (12&12, Step Ten)
As pointed our above, it is probably not a bad thing that I feel a need to correct what I rightly perceive as wrong thinking, or wrong action. What can be a bad thing, however, is the manner in which I go about it. I don't need to apologize for my beliefs and opinions. But, when the manner in which I express those beliefs and opinions hurts, demeans or margianalizes another person, then I have crossed a line.
I am realizing that I haven't yet learned, or been taught, to just state my opinion and leave it at that. Once I get started, I'm a dog with a new bone -- I won't let go. This is especially pronounced when I can't see or hear the reactions of the other person. As is becoming more and more obvious, this is a bigger issue than the one I first posted on. There is a character defect here that, yes, is magnified by the "safe, online, quasi-anonymous" setting of Facebook. But, take away the FB vehicle and the only honest thing for me to say is that it would still be there.
In any case, I am disturbed. My brain is noisy, and I can't quiet it down. I am anxious, distracted and even at times angry. And I have not taken the time nor the effort to dig deep down and find the causes of all of this. Well, I haven't until a few days ago. All of this soul-searching keeps bringing me back to steps 6 & 7. For all I know, my shortcomings, my defects of character, may always be with me. Few, if any, may actuall "be removed." But in any case, I need a major shift in my attitude towards them. I need to learn how to live with them, to turn them to positives as much as possible, and not let them rule my life.
That's really no different than my attitude toward alcohol, now is it? "And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol." Could I add "even our shortcomings, and defects of character?"