Annoyed when advice or suggestions are offered

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Re: Annoyed when advice or suggestions are offered

Postby beginningagain7 » Sun Aug 22, 2004 3:55 pm

Welcome Pantherone to the forum.

Since in this case you are looking for suggestions. Sorry I do not give advice. Instead of gritting your teeth smile instead. Just because someone is giving a unsolicited suggestion or advice means that you have to listen. Just be polite and smile within yourself. Anyway that is what I do. For me it puts my inner-spirit at easy and I don't get as angry as maybe I would've if I showed or allowed my emotions take the best of me.

You mentioned: acceptance, humility, control, a step. Humility comes to my mind. For in the situation when someone comes up to us and offers a suggestion or advice I need to remember to be humible about it. For they are thinking that offering a suggestion or advice might be of some help to us. And in some case the suggestion or advice wanted or not wanted just might be what we need to hear.

At meetings I have heard take what helps and leave the rest. Same goes with suggestion and advice wanted or not wanted. And we need to accept the fact that there are going to be loved ones and friends that think they are helping that will give unsolicited suggestions and advice.

I have learned to humble myself against those situations. And to my surprise some of the suggestion or advice is what I really needed to hear. Unfortunate for me some of those suggestions and advice were many moon ago. And it just dawn at me at a meeting. And I foundly realized what they were saying and trying to do.

Although I do not like unsolicited advice and suggestions I do keep an open mind. And take the ones that I feel help and disgard the ones that are totally out of the picture. Doesn't help me to get angry. Does help to smile inside myself.

For me having inner-peace is very important. For having inner-peace and humility I can put up with outside forces that try to disturb it.

That's how I handle those situations when they arrive at my door.

Have a good day,
John T.

<small>[ 08-22-2004, 03:56 PM: Message edited by: Beginningagain4 ]</small>
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Re: Annoyed when advice or suggestions are offered

Postby Blue Moon » Tue Aug 24, 2004 6:59 pm

Originally posted by Pantherone:
Is it acceptance, humility, control, a step? Any suggestions would be appreciated - quite ironic, huh?
I used to be quite annoyed at unsolicited advice, particularly when I knew something that suggested the advice wasn't exactly followed by the individual giving it, and most especially when I felt the advice itself contradicted AA's program.

"Love and tolerance" were useful things to remember and focus on.

What the book suggests about Step 10 is very helpful. If I'm focusing more on someone I can help I'm focusing less on what bothers me.

Failing that, I would go find someone to offer advice to :) Step 12.
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