Love and tolerance

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Love and tolerance

Postby Soberguy27 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:39 am

I sometimes have a hard time reading some of the posts here. There seems to be so many that get hostile and just plain mean especially if they disagree with a posters post. I believe we all joined aa to stop drinking right? I sometimes don't agree with some posts but never get rude or hostile. As an atheist I get more rude replies than probably most do as my views here do not seem to be very popular although I stand by them. I am sure others may also get many rude remarks and some get very personal. It's not very cool and really unnecessary. I do my best to practice love and tolerance and when there is strong disagreement with a post I simply agree to disagree. Sometimes reading these posts it almost feels like I am reading posts on Craigslists rants and raves section. Sometimes we ( and I include myself here) all need to remember our primary purpose to stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. Hope everyone is having another great day of sobriety.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby PaigeB » Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:45 am

Thanks soberguy!

I am an atheist too, and though there have likely been many times where I was momentarily offended, I can only remember one that hurt me enough to recall today. Maybe I need to think about that one. It felt like it came out of nowhere which means I probably "stepped on the toes of my fellows" at some point.

One thing I have found is that even though somebody thinks they have a common understanding of an HP ~ Like Christians might all believe they think of Jesus the same way ~ my humble guess is that each understanding is soooo personal, that in the wider spectrum, their "understanding" differs greatly.

None of us can truly understand an HP - it is just something we grow towards.

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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:35 pm

Just observing your reaction on another thread regarding referencing God in AA. Ask yourself are you practicing love and Tolerance?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby Layne » Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:58 pm

Ask yourself are you practicing love and Tolerance?
I asked myself this question and the honest answer that came after a few minutes of reflection was that I am practicing it, but have a long way to go yet before it is second nature. Thankfully I have the phrase of "progress not perfection" also playing in my head. Also whenever I ask other people questions, I try my best to take a few minutes and reflect upon my answer to the same question pointed back at me.

Many times, the question when pointed back at me causes discomfort; but that is not a bad thing because it can be sign of potential growth possibilities if I consider it honestly with an open mind and heart.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby Greywolf » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:50 am

avaneesh912 wrote:Just observing your reaction on another thread regarding referencing God in AA. Ask yourself are you practicing love and Tolerance?


"Treat everyone with love and tolerance. I'll sort them out later." -- God.

Judging another's love and tolerance based on my interpretation of a post, IMO is not very loving or tolerant of me.

Here's a repeat of a story from another post that illustrates what I mean by judging based on interpretation of apparent action.

"I recently read a story about a man who lived in a one room shack or cabin next to a swamp. One day a miserable dog, just an almost grown pup really, came out of the swamp. It was obviously he had been abused before he was left in the swamp to die. Our protagonist fed the dog, nursed him and when he was well enough to go, took him to the vet for treatment, shots, etc. He named him Hobo.

Hobo hung around and when the man came home Hobo would raise his head, gave his tail a wag and lay back down. One night the man had an intruder and Hobo attacked the intruder who shot and killed the dog. Later some close friends gave the man another dog -- a puppy -- who attacked the man with licks and slurps and all kinds of affection.

One of the man's friends said he loves you so much more than Hobo ever did. No, the man replied, Hobo gave his life for me. He just didn't know how to express his love.

I've noticed some of the BB message folks don't have much tolerance and/or love for old timers who don't quote from the BB in meetings and who use humor and stories to deliver to the newcomer small doses of the message how to stay sober -- our primary purpose read at 99.9% of meetings.

No matter how sick a man is, good doctors only prescribe medication in doses the man can tolerate. Sometimes a patient is put into a medically induced coma before the real treatment can begin. Having newcomers who are fresh out of treatment or prison giggling may be just "what the doctor ordered." The nodding of heads is indicative that the newcomer is hearing a message the observer who is busy judging and evaluating the old timer cannot hear.

We have blind belief in and obedience to an ex-drunk with 2 or 3 years sobriety but treat what people with 25 years of sobriety that we don't know with disdain. What's wrong with that picture?
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby PaigeB » Tue Jul 03, 2018 12:25 pm

This from an atheist: Am I so powerful that I can change the will of god?

If the answer is NO, then everything that happens IS, IN-DEED, the will of god.

If the answer is yes, than I need a larger idea of what a Higher Power means.

God is EVERY-THING OR God is NO-THING. What is my choice to be?

I cannot interfere with god. Whatever I say is what he meant for me to say. Who knows how far and wide the ripples go? If I claim to know what is best for me or a new comer or an old timer than BY GOD I need a newer, bigger god.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby positrac » Tue Jul 10, 2018 2:22 am

Love and tolerance is a two way street and sometimes in our society points seem to be over-powering and not tolerant at all and make others fell like if they don't comply then it is all our fault because we might not believe or like what is pressure presented by those so-called tolerant groups.

For me I come off strong and I stand my ground and I am of firm belief that if I treat you as I want to be treated then I've been not only tolerant; but human at the same time as the last time I checked my blood is red like yours.

My point here is that if posts are put out with some kind of other agenda that is pushing then possibly look at how it could be resolved. Some of the best people I've ever met and worked with were gay, and we knew our boundaries and yet we could be open, loving in a non-sexual way and respect was enormous and tolerance wasn't event a word needed because we all got along and shared life.

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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby D'oh » Tue Jul 10, 2018 4:22 pm

Early in my Sobriety, my first 5th Step Defect List, contained "Unconditional Love has No Strings. Love people for who They are, not what I want them to be."

The first time I actually, in my Self Centered Life, I had ever heard those words. My Sponsor and 5th step Recipient, went on to say "We judge people by our own actions. We have no other guide."

Who am I to judge others by my messed up opinions? 2 ears, 1 mouth, 1 mind. Everyone deserves an opinion. I can listen, shake it around for a bit, store it or use it. After all, if God is "Everything" then He felt the need for that person to cross my path. If God is Nothing, I may still learn something.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:50 am

avaneesh912 wrote:
Just observing your reaction on another thread regarding referencing God in AA. Ask yourself are you practicing love and Tolerance?



"Treat everyone with love and tolerance. I'll sort them out later." -- God.

Judging another's love and tolerance based on my interpretation of a post, IMO is not very loving or tolerant of me.


Dont share your opinion. Share your experience. If you cant see how negative the posts are, thats your ignorance. I say don't project your ignorance on others.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby Greywolf » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:35 am

Dont share your opinion. Share your experience. If you cant see how negative the posts are, thats your ignorance. I say don't project your ignorance on others.

It's not that I don't see how negative some posts are, it's that I don't see withholding love and tolerance as a spiritual way of being. The post above is the antithesis of love and tolerance. It is my experience that the negativity of another does not justify my refusal to show love and tolerance to that person?

When I withhold my love and tolerance, I cast aspersions on myself, not the person from whom I withhold. People who deserve love the least, often need love the most. At least that's my experience.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:53 pm

Sometimes I am at my most loving and tolerant when pointing out to someone how silly they are behaving. I can tolerate behaviour which is unacceptable, but this doesn't mean I have to collude or pretend it's OK.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:39 pm

The post above is the antithesis of love and tolerance. It is my experience that the negativity of another does not justify my refusal to show love and tolerance to that person?


Not sure how you all interpret the post like that. I guess, its the conditioned mind operating. The original poster had just posted a message on another post, which I perceived as negative. And I just stated that it was my observance. And nothing about holding love and tolerance.

I'm sorry you took this the way you did but, if you don't give a S*** about what I believe then why did you answer this post?


And he turns around and talks about love and tolerance. Just go inward, thats all I said.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby PaigeB » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:35 am

The original poster had just posted a message on another post, which I perceived as negative. And I just stated that it was my observance. And nothing about holding love and tolerance...
And he turns around and talks about love and tolerance. Just go inward, thats all I said.

Have YOU ever made a mistake or several then learned from it? Or, rather than learn from it, have another Lesson in that area? You two seem to be having your own back & forth and it is not all one sided.

I see it because I have been there. On this Forum. That is my experience with learning and growing and it is Good. :arrow:
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:50 am

yeah people should try to respond to the original poster instead of nit picking on responses.
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Re: Love and tolerance

Postby Greywolf » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:44 pm

yeah people should try to respond to the original poster instead of nit picking on responses.

Yeah, all of us should.
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