Playing both God And victim.

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Playing both God And victim.

Postby Doddering Moron » Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:37 pm

I work in a home-care setting with chronic pain patients under pain management with opioid prescribed treatment. These patients sometimes wish to complain that you're not assisting them enough, you're not relieving them -it's you're fault.

Isn't it amazing that, people who are playing God can simultaneously play the victim?

If I'm in charge of how I feel (which I now am because, I haven't had a drink in ten years, among many other reasons), then I can't blame anyone else for my problems.

Not sober people who are in any position of authority need to turn over the managing to a sober someone who knows how to live.

That's what I was hired for, isn't it?

They want to both do it their way And blame you when they don't feel well.

Uh uh. Go blame Uranus.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby PaigeB » Sat Sep 30, 2017 10:56 am

The "Sick Man's Prayer" appears on page 67 and I like it A LOT!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 30, 2017 4:47 pm

Doddering Moron wrote:Not sober people who are in any position of authority need to turn over the managing to a sober someone who knows how to live.

I would agree, unless you mean people who drink and can handle it are not sober people, nothing wrong with responsible drinkers doing the managing.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Patsy© » Fri Oct 06, 2017 4:43 am

Doddering Moron wrote:I work in a home-care setting with chronic pain patients under pain management with opioid prescribed treatment. These patients sometimes wish to complain that you're not assisting them enough, you're not relieving them -it's you're fault.

Isn't it amazing that, people who are playing God can simultaneously play the victim?

If I'm in charge of how I feel (which I now am because, I haven't had a drink in ten years, among many other reasons), then I can't blame anyone else for my problems.

Not sober people who are in any position of authority need to turn over the managing to a sober someone who knows how to live.

That's what I was hired for, isn't it?

They want to both do it their way And blame you when they don't feel well.

Uh uh. Go blame Uranus.


I would like to strongly suggest that perhaps you are in the wrong field. It is amazing indeed, and it seems that the one who is playing God and victim, is you.

These people are in pain and they don't need your pompous attitude, what they need is for you to do your job, do what you were hired for....Home Care.

Leave the prescriptions and the pain assessment to those who can actually DO something for these patients and do it without looking down on them.

Here is something that works, give it a shot.... "There by the Grace of God....Go I"
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Blue Moon » Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:04 am

Doddering Moron wrote:I work in a home-care setting with chronic pain patients under pain management with opioid prescribed treatment. These patients sometimes wish to complain that you're not assisting them enough, you're not relieving them -it's you're fault.


I had to learn quite early in my sobriety not to project my alcoholism onto others. Key words here are "chronic pain". If someone is in un-managed pain, any pain-management is not managing the pain. QED. So if you're the one who's supposed to be assisting with pain management, and the pain management is not working, then yes: it's your fault. You're not offering a workable solution. They're not blaming you for the pain, their problem is with your failure to manage it effectively. So if you can't do anything else to help, maybe you need to get out of the firing line. People in pain tend to lash out at whoever is nearest if they seem to be just making it worse.

This reminds me of the time when, as a kid, I scolded my foot with boiling water. It was the most painful experience ever. I was rushed to hospital, where they gave me an injection for the pain. Damn thing didn't even touch the sides. After a while, the so-called "doctor" told the people with me that I was faking the pain because the injection must have worked by now. He was lucky I was in so much pain, as I would have sat up and punched him in the face, this utterly-clueless know-all daring to involve himself in something as serious as my well-being.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 10:20 am

Hi Doddering!

I recognize your post as venting...at least I think I do. I, too, work in the healthcare field and sometimes I just need to vent.

Not sure if I completely understand all of the post, but what I think you are saying is that you were hired to manage the patient's pain medication, probably among other duties. Perhaps someone hired you because the patient would otherwise abuse the pain meds? If that's the case then I can't even imagine how much anger and resentment the patient has toward you. If this is in fact the case, I can see the patient viewing you as the enemy and constantly lashing out at you because you can only give the quantity the doctor prescribes. It may not be enough to sufficiently manage the pain, OR maybe there is a possibly an addiction which has the patient acting in a manner that you recognize all too well. Tough job either way!!!

The only one responsible for actually "managing the person's pain" is the MD. Doctors (and possibly PA's, and nurse practitioners) are the only ones who can prescribe narcotic pain medication.

I'm just here to validate your venting. Yes, we ARE healthcare workers, but that doesn't mean we are not allowed to get flustered like the rest of the population. I have been in my field 23 years and have worked in acute care hospitals, Rehab hospitals (PT rehab, not drug), nursing homes, home health, and out patient physical therapy. One thing in common with all different walks in the health care field is that we all have to vent sometimes. We do the jobs that most won't or can't. We do love our patients or we wouldn't be in the field. I think I speak for most that we don't express our frustrations to our patients because we recognize their pain and weakness, and their frustration in no longer being independent. Very hard to maintain a TLC attitude at all times, especially when we are the proverbial punching bag... thus the venting.

Or maybe I totally misunderstood your post. Ha ha!! :lol:
Regardless, have a nice day and hang in there.
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Patsy© » Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:44 am

Isn't it amazing that, people who are playing God can simultaneously play the victim?

If I'm in charge of how I feel (which I now am because, I haven't had a drink in ten years, among many other reasons), then I can't blame anyone else for my problems.

Not sober people who are in any position of authority need to turn over the managing to a sober someone who knows how to live.

That's what I was hired for, isn't it?

They want to both do it their way And blame you when they don't feel well.

Uh uh. Go blame Uranus.


Hi Christy,

Does the above sound like someone who is simply venting? "Uh uh. Go blame Uranus." Seriously??

I too work with patients in Urgent Care for well over 21 years and counting. And if anyone in our Urgent Care Unit sounded like this person, they would be relieved of their duties...Pronto!
Yes, we can vent and we better do it in a proper way, in the proper place, with the proper people. And here at this site ISN'T IT.

Yes, we all can get burned out, especially these days when we are understaffed and over worked. THAT is not the patients fault and if we can't be kind, courteous and empathetic with the patients we are directly responsible for......then its time to get out of the Medical Field and find something to do that doesn't have one playing God while playing victim....that is NOT good patient care!


Doddering says:
"If I'm in charge of how I feel (which I now am because, I haven't had a drink in ten years, among many other reasons), then I can't blame anyone else for my problems."
He is obviously mixing up someone elses physical pain ... with his ego problems.

I have never seen an EGO accompanied by such a lack of Empathy.... lessen anyone's pain, no matter how long sober one is!
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 3:20 pm

oh my goodness. This isn't fun or encouraging anymore.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Patsy© » Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:08 am

Cristy99 wrote:oh my goodness. This isn't fun or encouraging anymore.


I would never ever encourage any one in the medical field to behave as Doddering has. I have thought about this post from Doddering and all I can share with you is that it sure wasn't fun or encouraging for those patients, in fact, it's very disturbing. And at 10 years sober, if that is all Doddering has to offer these patients.... then again, Doddering doesn't belong anywhere near patients!

And I only wish that Doddering worked here in Boston, so that the proper actions could be taken!
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby clouds » Sun Oct 08, 2017 7:21 am

What a scary thread this is. I hope never to be in hospital ever again!
" we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives..... probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism." page60 A.A.
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Cristy99 » Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:51 am

I try to be positive and encouraging on this forum.

It was never my intent to offend anyone or cause any fear of medical professionals. I think I am perceiving the original post differently that most. I'm not exactly sure what the original author meant by "blame Uranus." As I re-read the post I still couldn't see any evidence that the author actually said these things to the patient. It's difficult for me to decipher one's attitude in text form...no verbal inflection, body language, etc.

It would be absolutely inexcusable for me ever say anything derogatory or harmful to a patient. And I don't. Ever. I have been taught that I am not responsible for the first thought that pops into my head, but I AM responsible for all the thoughts after, as well as ALL my body language and facial expressions (no matter what that first thought may be). I take great care to avoid even the slightest brow furrow. Most days my attitude in life is wonderful. But every great once-in-a-while I have a day with more "bad" thoughts and have to double my efforts. I can only speak for myself. I realize I'm not perfect, and never will be.....but I'm never going to stop striving to be better.

I wish I would learn to say what I want to say with less words!!! Grrrr.....

I recognized that a member was in a dark, negative place and simply tried to encourage; not condoning any bad behavior by any means, just attempting to encourage a health care worker to rise above the darkness.

Have a good day.
Cristy
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby positrac » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:58 am

Christy, must be a southern thing because my post are overly long and to what end! I will agree that I am not always the sharpest tool in the shed for the understanding of some post and I fall short as well.

I try and do what I can and I want to be polite and positive and in this world it is hard to be a good soul without being walked on and this is outside of the original post topic. I am far from anything worthy of perfection and I know I had to be made this way as I'll be that work in progress forever.

:roll:
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Re: Playing both God And victim.

Postby Cristy99 » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:24 pm

Thanks Posi! =wink
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