fire my sponsor????

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
From the heart
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Post by From the heart »

In order to fire someone - you have to hire them, what did you hire them for?
People place and things can easily divert the soul, Tradition Ten ask its members not to implicate A.A. in any way.
Check out what sponsorship did to the oldest midtown group in Washington D.C and you will see what sponsorship does to A.A. Sponsorship implicates A.A. as its soul purpose that’s why the word is not even mentioned in the Big Book, a Step or the Traditions it comes from promotion of the sponsor themselves not the altruism of brotherhood we named it A.A. as a whole the fellowship.
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Re: fire my sponsor????

Post by annasapphire »

I realize this post is old, but I can't help but comment. I was looking for posts about "firing" my sponsor and came across this.
Although I don't agree with judging someone else's actions (dating another AA member who has (seemingly) shaky sobriety) because - someone's else's choices are not really my business, I would not necessarily have all of the information about the situation, I don't always make the best decisions, criticizing someone else's actions is putting myself in a superior position which is not productive in the program- and most of all, judging them it gives me an 'out'. Being new in the program, having a sponsor is not comfortable thing for me, to say the least. I find myself trying to weasel myself out of it often- I don't like someone else knowing my darkest secrets, and I don't like advice, and I don't like to be told to do things (like read the book)- that's just my ego. I've found three things to be key in my beginning sobriety- humility, connection to others (and higher power), and willingness to do whatever it takes to stay sober.
All that being said, I do think it's imperative to ask the basic question- "Does my sponsor have want I want"? In my case, no. She doesn't.
If the answer is no, the answer is no.
I choose listen to my gut without too much thinking- thinking too much doesn't get me anywhere. It's my sobriety, and I need to nurture it.
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Re: fire my sponsor????

Post by Brock »

Welcome here annasapphire. Nothing wrong with bumping an old topic, sorry it took a few hours to be approved, (first posts require that due to the spam the site sometimes gets), all of your posts after this will automatically go right up.

I enjoyed reading your thoughts, especially being one of those who also dislikes being told what to do, it effected me so much that I have never had a sponsor, (well not after half hour of the first one I tried anyway). But I am quick to point out, that I believe a good one can not only make the steps faster and easier to do, but can be an encouragement in many other ways. Hope to see you around on our forums here some more, good AA folks here.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: fire my sponsor????

Post by desypete »

i dont know where i would be without my sponsor and those in aa who had the cheek to point out to me when i was being a big head or a know all or the hundred and 1 other forms of deception my head can run away with

it was my first time to reliaze that maybe there might be something wrong with my thinking as i certainly couldn't think the way the people in aa think ( honest sober memebers i mean )
once i knew these people could see right through me and they knew every trick i had in the book to mask myself i knew i couldn't fool them. my sponsor had such a peace in his life that i wanted it, i was an angry bull in a china shop. i wanted results now, not in 5 mins, i wanted everything in this world to be done my way, including at times how aa is run,
my sponsor wasnt like that but then he had been around at that time 30 odd years, my sponsor never had a bad word to say about anyone, if i moaned about people in aa to him he would turn it around on me, and make me think who the hell am i to judge them

and yet my sponsor was at one time just like me but he had learned over the years how not to be that way, by practising the principles of the steps into his life. by doing things wrong and feeling the pain of it all as pain was the best teacher he had and i have had also

when things hurt me enough then i do something about it

anyway today my sponsor is my best mate, we go to a meeting together once a week, i go to visit him at home just for a get together and to be in each others company
the upshot is today i call my sponsor and ask him how he is doing today instead of it always being about me

my sponsor is in high demand in the fellowship as the way he is attracts big time and he is always the first person to get up and help anyone out,

i would be like brock to if i had a sponsor who told me what to do say or think i would soon put 2 fingers up, but my sponsor would just make suggestions or just talk about himself in a way i could see what he had done how he had reacted and i could see myself and also i would try out things he would suggest, like getting up in the morning and going out for a walk
simple little things like that to start my day off with a clean head

i know just how lucky i have been to have such a great sponsor, sadly he had a heart attack the other week and was rushed into hospital and i was able to help out with lifts and took his wife there who was really in a state
true to form my sponsor was in hospital and having fun, he had to use a comode and it stunk the ward out and the other patients were very cross lol but they laughed about it all really
but my sponsor just doesnt let anything in this life get at him anymore, he enjoys every moment and to me is a great example of aa and what it produces
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Re: fire my sponsor????

Post by Cristy99 »


Thank you.

I hope your sponsor/friend is recovering well and continues to be a "stinker!!" =biggrin
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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Re: fire my sponsor????

Post by desypete »

Cristy99 wrote:DESYPETE:

Thank you.

I hope your sponsor/friend is recovering well and continues to be a "stinker!!" =biggrin
your welcome
he is out of hospital now and back around the rooms doing what he does best
helping others
although i am sure the hospital is glad to see the back of him and his bowel movements =biggrin
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